The Blame Game

Scapegoating is a natural human emotion, especially in sports. It is difficult for fans to accept that sometimes things happen just because they happen. There is always some one or some thing to blame. This year, the boo birds have preyed on everyone from Andy Pratt to the hole in Sammy Sosa's bat.

Throughout the course of this season, I admit to having pointed a finger or two.

So, in the interest of fairness in honesty, I have compiled a rough list of the people and factors I have blamed for the Cubs' struggles in 2004:

-Wendall Kim's waves

-Joe Borowski's blown saves

-Sports Illustrated cover curse

-Being 10 games out of first...

-My basement TV

-Some clouds that look angry

-Dusty Baker's lineup

-Another weak Paul Bako pop-up

-Francis Beltran's walks

-the way Bill Cartwright talks

-a Chip Caray cliché

-"Five outs away"

-a ball slicing foul

-Another useless bobblehead doll

-The home plate ump

-Corey's Patterson's bad jump

-Anyone keeping score at home

-Losing the remote while watching Jim Rome

-Sammy's stance

-Baseball Tonight crew rants

-Steve Kline

-Missing a sign

-Walking in a run

-Reggie Sanders' gun

-Ozzie Guillen

-An inept bullpen

-That stupid black cat

-LaTroy Hawkins closing a game

-Aramis Ramirez pulling up lame

-a poor injury prediction

-Clubhouse friction

-Sarge's coaching technique

-The long line at Wrigley to take a leak

-No runs for Matt Clement

-Some rapper called "50 cent" (please don't sick your posse on me)

-Kyle Farnsworth's gopher balls that go far

-Not getting Nomar

-Missing a shortstop in general...

-Renting Operation Dumbo Drop

-Rey Ordonez being an also-ran

-Getting ignored by Lindsey Lohan

-Todd Hollandsworth's bum shin

-Starting Tom Goodwin

-Violent sneezes

-Losing to the team with heads of cheese

-Simulated starts for Mark Prior

And lastly, hoping that 2004 doesn't end like so many years before.

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