Mssrs. Little and Manual Have a Discussion

Mr. Grady Little and Mr. Charles Manual, field managers of the Los Angeles Dodgers and Philadelphia Phillies respectively, met recently as their two teams battled in a four game set in Philadelphia. It is possible the two might have whiled away time on a Saturday rainout with something like the following colloquoy.

"Grady, I wuz listenin to that old feller Tommy with your team, but I couldn't unnerstan him," Manual opined, "what he sayin?"

"I dunno myself, but I think he wuz saying he was impotent," responded Mr. Grady.

"Well, I kinda figured he can't have no kids at his age," Manual said.

Mr. Manual asked Mr. Little who was the fastest man on the Dodgers.

"Godda be ole Tom agin," Mr. Little said, "you ain't narry ever seen anybody move so fast when the dinner ticket comes aroun."

"You happy with your new coaches, Mr. Little," Mr. Manual asked. "Well, I wuz really thinkin of swappin em in fur some evangelical preacher men," Mr. Little parried. "Why"" asked Mr. Manual. "Well, cuz so many of my players, specially them pitchers, they all speakin in tongues," Mr. Little responded.

"Ain't there noone on the Dodgers kin speak proper," Mr. Manual pushed on.

"Well Mr. Kent and Mr. Mueller's pretty good, cuz they wuz raised like us," Mr. Little said, bragging on his two infielders known for their paucity of rhetoric.

"You out there in the west," Mr. Manual chewed on, "what's that stuff about that there Bonds fella and the 'stairs' stuff?"

"Well, I aint really sure," Mr. Little said after a bit, "seems he 'cused of takin them 'stairs', but I don't believe none of it, cuz if he was takin 'stairs' he oughta be losin wait ruther than puttin in on."

"Me neither," Mr. Manual responded, "course, I'm kinda like ole Satch, you member him, he said he gainst all that there bidness cuz it only angered up the juices."

"Mr. Little," Mr. Manual went on (they were now in the second hour of their extended conversation), "my folks tellin me you got some good crops down on your farm."

"Yessir, Mr. Manual, we've done had a ticular good season, got some good uns, but they's lots of greens, and there's still some weedin to do, but by fall we will have some nice ripe ones and even a melon or too," Mr. Little responded honestly.

Thus having a long afternoon and evening expired, the two learned and distinguished gentlemen of the South adjourned their meeting.