Flounder the Menu of the Day

The newest world problem on the menu is food. It is so bad Al Gore may have to jump ship on the environment express in order to get ahead of the mob of the newest object of universal handwringing.

That being said, the Dodgers' menu these days mostly seems to feature flounder. The win-one, lose-one Dodgers of 2008 are floundering around like a newly caught fish with the hook still in its mouth.

More than half a century ago, the great and acerbic Dodgers writer penned a line about those Dodgers who were having trouble winning the close ones - a tree grows in Brooklyn, a cherry (choke)tree.

Now Dodgers manager Joe Torre is tinkering with his lineup almost daily. One day, he puts Martin, Ethier, Kemp and Loney in the front. The next day he drops the kids down and replaces them with the more experienced oldsters Nomar Garciaparra and Jeff Kent.

Yesterday in an 8-1 loss, Nomar and Jeff, if it is still okay to call the two Dodgers senior citizens by their first names, hung a pair of 0-4s on the line.

Thats kind of like the classic joke of three old duffers who had lost their fourth. They insisted the replacement had great eyesight since they were having difficulty following the golf ball. So a new 20-20 guy was found. "Did you see the ball?" the trio chirped.

"Yup," came the reply.

"Where'd it go?"

"I don't know, I forgot."

Whether the eyesight or the memory of the aging Dodgers is faulty, we don't know, but at least one of them is interrupting performance.

The sages waxed when Nomar hit a homer, the first in almost a year. Little was said when his batting average dipped, egads, under that of Andrew Jones (they wouldn't make a .300 hitter if you added both of their averages together).

The two 0-fers hung by Nomar and Jeff came against a Reds pitcher who, in race track parlance, would be named "jockey noboy". The Reds, to add further embarrassment to the Dodgers, have this season trotted out any number of new starters - yesterday's kid and Mr. Cueto to name a pair.

The Dodgers countered with Mr. Kuo, he of many surgeries, and even tossed in formerly big league pitcher Esteban Loaiza.

We also took note of Mr. Meloan at Vegas and Mr. Kershaw in Jacksonville (forget his won and loss record, look at them strikeouts he's piling up).

Now is this a mild suggestion that the Dodgers pitching hopes are more likely found on the farm than in the handful of maybes they already got?

You betcha!

Through all of this, new manager Joe Torre is being exceeding patient. We hope it is patience.

Torre is as old as this almost septuagenarian scribe, as is Holmes the boss, and to tell you the truth, we would like to see one more Dodgers team win something before we enter the Pearly Gates (for those of you who don't know, Holmes' spouse is named Pearlie).

Consequently, we are short on patience and long on yearning.

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