Luke's Power Rankings

The power rankings return this week, as's Luke Lapinski breaks down every team from the Braves to the Tigers. He puts them in order, tells you why, and makes you laugh. All you have to do is read.

1. ATLANTA (1) - Somewhere, Bobby Cox is getting thrown out of something. Oddly comforting, isn't it?

2. NY YANKEES (4) - They're starting to look like the team to beat. Again.

3. SAN FRANCISCO (2) - Find me a better father-son duo in sports history than Bobby and Barry Bonds. (hint: you're wasting your time)

4. BOSTON (5) - And Pedro hasn't even been pitching.

5. OAKLAND (6) - Losing Mulder and his 9 complete games for the stretch run hurts.

6. SEATTLE (3) - Better start winning soon and I doubt Armand'oh! is the answer.

7. PHILADELPHIA (8) - Check out Thome's numbers vs. the Cardinals: 6 games, 5 homeruns, 10 RBIs, 6 runs scored, and a .450 average (that's good).

8. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (12) - A 6-1 week has them on top of the AL Central. (By a whole game and a half!)

9. FLORIDA (7) - Hanging on despite grabbing just one win all week.

10. ST. LOUIS (13) - See Philly (except, in this case, "that's bad").

11. HOUSTON (9) - Top of the NL Central is a total mess. The teams are just too similar.

12. CHICAGO CUBS (14) - Top of the NL Central is a total mess. The teams are just too similar.

13. ARIZONA (10) - Have now scored 2 or less runs in a game 20 times since the All-Star break - worst in the majors.

14. LOS ANGELES (16) - Believe it or not, the Dodgers actually put up 5 runs in one game this week! (of course, they lost that game and only scored 9 total runs in the other five games they played for the week... but that's not the point)

15. MINNESOTA (15) - Remember when you didn't think you should start Johan Santana? Yeah, I'd try to forget too.

16. KANSAS CITY (11) - Gave up 42 runs in just six games this week. Oh, and now Appier's hurt.

17. MONTREAL (19) - Well, at least you still lead in the fight for Canadain supremacy. That's all that really matters anyway.

18. TORONTO (20) - Not to place blame on any one individual, but Eric Hinske is now just seven for his last 39 (.179). I blame Eric Hinske.

19. ANAHEIM (22) - You know, if you were to finish behind Texas in the AL West, I think the league could legally repossess those World Series rings.

20. COLORADO (17) - Baseball 101: you should win games if you want to make the playoffs.

21. TEXAS (23) - It's time to play "Name That Rangers Pitcher"! The game where nobody wins!

22. BALTIMORE (18) - Now mathematically eliminated for next year.

23. CINCINNATI (24) - Good thing you built that new stadium.

24. PITTSBURGH (21) - With Randall Simon gone, who will fight off those scary giant sausages from Milwaukee?

25. NY METS (26) - Hey, they could still surprise you ... like maybe they'll just contract themselves right out of the league.

26. CLEVELAND (25) - Just a few years away from being legitimate (Little League) World Series contenders.

27. MILWAUKEE (28) - Longest winning streak of year (6 games) moves them up to #27... can't tell if that's cause for celebration or just plain sad.

28. SAN DIEGO (29) - What's the big deal with this Pujols character? The Padres have a hit in 30 consecutive games too. Lets hear it for San Diego! Hooray, Padres!

29. TAMPA BAY (27) - This is still what dreams are made of.

30. DETROIT (30) - Believe it or not, they're actually getting worse (12 losses in a row).

Luke took the time out of a monster road-trip from Phoenix, AZ to Boston, MA to get this story into us. Give him some road tips at

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