How Hardcore Giants Are You This Year?

Amidst the relative quiet and haze of another new year, one Giants fan renews his orange & black vigor by proposing some new grass-roots measures.

[Again, thanks to everyone who took the time to write me back regarding my previous article on Giants broadcasters. And one major correction from last time – the winner of the Frick award for broadcasting does NOT gain entry into the HOF; technically, he/she is an "honoree" of the Hall (thanks to Ben for the info). Happy New Year, everyone!]

Despite the relative lack of improvement to the Giants roster this off-season (well, relative amongst the company of Bostonians, New Yorkers, Baltimoreans, Philadelphians, and heck, even Quebecois), this particular fan is still optimistic about the upcoming new season. The expectations to win big remain, but in a fan's heart of hearts, you have to wonder whether the scrappy Giants can make do in the postseason with what they've got against the big boys. I mean, can't you see it now: late in game 7 of the NLCS. . . Philly brings in set-up man Tim Worrell and closer Billy Wagner to face. . . the dreaded Cody Ransomator! Or MohrTuckHammy, the unrelenting three-headed right fielder!

Hrmph. Still, I remain optimistic, and if you're a hardcore Giants fan, you should, too. Here are, in no particular order, ten resolutions you too can adopt to become an even more diehard fanatic (and if you're reading this, you're halfway there, pal):

1. Be prepared to shout ad nausea, "Brett Tomko is the Bombko!" and other more cleverly-crafted slogans for players you don't quite know yet.

2. Drink more beer at Pac Be. . . I mean SBC/3Com/NEXTEL/Enron Park. An extra $9 beer a game from every fan in the seats is bound to get us a significant free agent by the trading deadline.

3. Give back your Rich Aurilia bobblehead doll and show your loyalty by demanding a replacement doll in the likeness of the aforementioned Ransomator. Or for you collectors out there, probably not a whole lot of Neifi Perez paraphernalia lying around, so get those and stock up! And it may scare the kids, but a three-headed right-fielder bobblehead might not be a bad idea as well.

4. Prepare for Barry Bonds' historic "walk" to history when he shatters his single-season walk record again this season – this time, before the All-Star break. Ask the Giants to have a "Walk to the Park" day on the day of the game, with proceeds going to BALCO. Learn to LOVE the chicken dance song.

5. While we're on the topic of records, write to Brian Sabean asking him to call up David Aardsma before the end of the season, so the Giants can shatter TWO all-time records (Aardsma would be the first player alphabet-wise in MLB history, narrowly beating out some guy named Hank Aaron).

6. Convince all Japanese media following Ichiro and Kazuo Matsui that we LOVED Tsuyoshi Shinjo, and would love to have other (and more talented, but leave this part out) Japanese players grace the San Francisco diamond.

7. While we're at it, convince some San Jose Sharks players to become two-sports athletes. I'm betting that at least one of those guys' slap shots would translate into 30+ home run power. And they could teach J. T. Snow a few things about cross-checking the catcher at home plate in a playoff elimination game.

8. Brace yourself for the first time Greg Papa mixes up his homerun call with "Touchdown, Rrrrrrrrraiders!"

9. Urge Giants management to become a baseball pioneer by having between-innings and seventh inning stretch cheerleaders. And before I hear it from the ladies out there, think about it: for the females, this would be the PERFECT time to go to the concession stands, no?

10. Finally, a semi-serious resolution: work out more. One possible way of doing so could be to go for nightly swims. In McCovey Cove. During Giants games. When Bonds homers.

Come on, spring training!



Don Shin eats, breathes, thinks, and bleeds in Orange and Black. Pac Bell Park officially opened on his 25th birthday (the one year he decided to move out of the Bay Area!!!). For the 2000 playoff drive, he dyed his hair orange while studying in Korea. He watched Game 6 of the '02 World Series at a restaurant in LA, and couldn't finish his meal afterwards. Feel free to write him at dongsoo411@yahoo.com to commiserate, cheer, and complain.

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