Top Ten Ways You Know You Miss Baseball

It's been a long offseason for Giants' fans and baseball fans alike. Fans everywhere are looking forward to a new season starting, but in the meantime, some of us may be suffering from an illness.

Are you not feeling like your life is complete lately? Are you feeling like something's missing? Is there's a void in your heart? Do you wonder why it's there and why it's effecting so many of your actions and/or words since the end of October?

It's a disease I'd like to call BD (Baseball Deprivation). Have no fear... If you believe you have this sickness, the cure is less than a month away, and in two months, you will be completely cured. Still unsure of whether or not you have this disease? If you fall under any of these top ten symptoms, then you, my friend, are a Baseball Deprivatee.

10. You look forward to the Superbowl... Not because you want to watch it, but because it marks the end of football season, and the near beginning of spring training.

9. You substitute "season" for "semester" in a five minute conversation with a schoolmate about an English class.

8. While driving, you yell out names of baseball players as you pass speed limit signs. It's their jersey number.

7. Whenever it starts raining, you open a window and scream, "No more rain delays!"

6. You say, "Bonds?! I LOVE that guy! He's SO amazing!" after someone asks you about your savings bonds.

5. You mow your lawn every other day and volunteer to mow your neighbors' lawns as well. You want to smell the fresh cut grass.

4. You spontaneously and randomly yell, "It's outta here!!" in quiet places, and whenever you hear a splash.

3. You spend your Friday nights by going into a pool hall, standing on a pool table, spitting, tossing a pool ball in the air, and trying to swing at it with a cue stick.

2. You've been spending at least an hour everyday sitting in the corner of your garage with a bat in your hand, swaying back and forth while repeating, "Build it, and they will come..."

1. You just broke up with your tenth girlfriend in the past three months because you always had a different definition of "diamond."

So how'd you do? I knew it... You're ill. No worries, the treatment will be on its way soon. Here's to a great season that will quickly come.



Sara Kwan was born in San Francisco and raised in the Bay Area. She currently writes game recaps, other articles, and is the Giant Prophet for SFDugout.com. Any comments or questions about the article, baseball, or the meaning of life can be sent to Sara at kwanchino[at]alpha-q.net

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