2. ATLANTA (2) - Look no farther than Gary Sheffield: .357 17 HR 51 R 52 RBI 10 SB
3. SAN FRANCISCO (3) - Just for fun, let's cork Barry's bat and see if he can actually rip a ball in half.
4. MONTREAL (4) - Guerrero injury will show what this team is made of.
5. HOUSTON (13) - Oswalt returning in a big way from DL: 1-0 0.64 ERA 19 K's in 14 innings.
6. BOSTON (10) - First Pedro now Wakefield? What, are you guys cursed or something?
7. MINNESOTA (8) - Santana as a starter: 2-0 0.82 ERA, Reed: 3-6 4.37 ERA; yeah, make sure you keep Reed in there guys.
8. NY YANKEES (6) - Okay, so what happens first: Clemens gets 300 or the ‘pen blows 300?
9. CHICAGO CUBS (11) - Cork's been popped - where's the celebration?
10. OAKLAND (5) - Apparently you have to cross home plate occasionally to win games.
11. ST. LOUIS (14) - Does Woody Williams ever have a bad game? 8-1 with a 1.99 ERA.
12. LOS ANGELES (7) - Not telling them how to run their team but they might want to consider scoring runs - especially with Dreifort done.
13. TORONTO (9) - D-E-L-G-A-D-O... sure, it's early, but that's how you spell AL MVP.
14. PHILADELPHIA (12) - Phalling pharther phrom phirst.
15. ANAHEIM (16) - Don't pitch to Jeff DaVanon in Puerto Rico... you've been warned - maybe too late - but you've been warned.
16. COLORADO (17) - Gellin' like Todd Helton... want some Elarton?
17. KANSAS CITY (18) - Just 7-17 in their last 24 - I'd blame QuesTec.
18. CINCINNATI (19) - Remember how much corking the bat helped Chris Sabo?
19. ARIZONA (24) - They've got the best DL in baseball.
20. BALTIMORE (15) - Check it out: only 6 games back in AL East; now, if they could only start winning games again...
21. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (23) - Well at least no one ran out on the field this week.
22. FLORIDA (20) - Hey, remember when they were good? Me neither.
23. NY METS (22) - Worst team that money can buy.
24. PITTSBURGH (25) - You know, if they're called "power rankings", maybe I should stop here each week.
25. CLEVELAND (26) - The season personified: Sabathia falling off of the mound on Thursday.
26. TEXAS (21) - Chan Ho Park returns and gives up 2 HR in 2 innings... maybe "Chan Ho" is Korean for "Can't keep it in the."
27. MILWAUKEE (27) - Oh... they're still a team?
28. TAMPA BAY (28) - New rule: D Rays get suspended if they don't cork their bats.
29. SAN DIEGO (29) - Some of the best weather in the world in the one place we need rainouts - that's irony.
30. DETROIT (30) - Interleague play brings us... San Diego vs. Detroit?!? Apology not accepted.
Luke Lapinski lives in Tempe, AZ and attends the Arizona State University, where he hosts the radio show, "The Mad UnderGrads." He once ate a hot dog from the Kingdome and survived to tell about it. Luke enjoys reading feedback, and can be reached at email@example.com.