2. SEATTLE (1) - New rule: you can't be ranked #1 after losing a series to the Padres. Sorry.
3. NY YANKEES (4) - So wait, Torre is a good manager now? Gee, I don't know, he's still kinda unproven don't you think?
4. LOS ANGELES (5) - Only the Tigers have scored less runs this year - "Analyze That" - oh yeah, movie themes were last week...
5. OAKLAND (7) - Just rattled off wins in 8 of their last 9 - aren't they supposed to wait till July to do that?
6. SAN FRANCISCO (3) - Well, at least Jason Schmidt decided to step up and beat the Dodgers by himself on Thursday.
7. TORONTO (9) - Sure, they hit everything but what about their pitching? Wait, Halladay's won 11 in a row? Okay, but what about their hitting? Oh yeah... uh-oh.
8. BOSTON (6) - Came from ahead to lose... 3 times... in one game... good job.
9. HOUSTON (12) - Congratulations, you swept the Rangers.
10. PHILADELPHIA (13) - Will need more production from ace Millwood (0-2 12.97 ERA in last 2 starts) to seriously contend.
11. MONTREAL (8) - Finally back in Montreal after 25 days away from home... maybe next month they'll sail around the world in a hot air balloon.
12. CHICAGO CUBS (11) - Up next for Kyle Farnsworth: Lennox Lewis - I call Lewis in 6 rounds.
13. MINNESOTA (10) - Losing 7 of 9 has dropped them back into a "race" in the AL Central.
14. KANSAS CITY (17) - Wow, is it Lima time again?
15. ARIZONA (19) - Welcome to the Diamondbacks Mr. Hillenbrand, now please head straight to the DL just like the rest of the team.
16. ST. LOUIS (14) - All this talent has them a dizzying 4 full games above .500! What will they do?
17. COLORADO (18) - Hate to break it to you, but Mark Bellhorn probably won't push the Rockies over the top - just a theory though.
18. FLORIDA (21) - The weekend series vs. the Devil Rays proved once and for all that this is the BEST TEAM IN FLORIDA.
19. ANAHEIM (15) - The Mighty Ducks start their season in 4 months - just throwing that out there.
20. CINCINNATI (16) - You wanna fight about it?
21. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (23) - Well, they won the series vs. the Cubs and no one can ever take that away from them.
22. NY METS (22) - Here's a positive twist to the season: all these 1-hitters make Mets games end faster.
23. BALTIMORE (20) - Someone reminded them that they were the Orioles and they haven't won a whole lot since (just 5-12 in last 17).
24. PITTSBURGH (24) - Yeah, but their park's real cool though.
25. CLEVELAND (26) - Stop playing 15 inning games!
26. MILWAUKEE (27) - Here, you try writing something insightful about the Brewers:________________.
27. TEXAS (25) - How's that pitching working out for ya? (6.5 runs per game allowed).
28. TAMPA BAY (28) - Piniella's gotta be happy he left Seattle for this.
29. SAN DIEGO (29) - There's a team that's worse?!?
30. DETROIT (30) - If you can't say something nice about someone you shouldn't say anything at all.
Luke Lapinski lives in Tempe, AZ and attends the Arizona State University, where he hosts the radio show, "The Mad UnderGrads." He once ate a hot dog from the Kingdome and survived to tell about it. Luke enjoys reading feedback, and can be reached at email@example.com.