Luke's Power Rankings - August 11

Luke Lapinski looks into the crystal ball and reads the futures of playoff contenders and bottom feeders alike. Next up for Luke: An appearance on the Tonight Show. Luke also predicts you'll read and enjoy this week's edition of's exclusive Luke's Power Rankings.

Rk. TEAM (Lst. Wk.) Luke's thoughts

1. ATLANTA (1) - Bold prediction time: I think they're gonna make the playoffs.

2. SAN FRANCISCO (2) - These guys could squeak in too.

3. SEATTLE (4) - Kinda strange that they didn't make a bigger move at the deadline - well, if it's possible to make a bigger move than landing Rey Sanchez, that is.

4. NY YANKEES (3) - Wait, now they're only tied for the best record in the AL. Torre should be outta here.

5. BOSTON (5) - Well, here goes, Sox fans: 14 games in 15 days against AL contenders Oakland and Seattle.

6. OAKLAND (6) - How can you be 12-13 when Barry Zito pitches?

7. FLORIDA (9) - Gee, I bet Pudge wishes he stayed in Texas. Who wants to go to a contender?

8. PHILADELPHIA (8) - What? Jose Mesa's 6.23 ERA isn't good enough for you? Give the man a break - he has three saves over the last month and a half.

9. HOUSTON (10) - Trying to look past the fact that they lost a series to the Mets this week. I didn't even realize teams still scheduled games against the Mets...

10. ARIZONA (11) - They just won't go away - 5-1 this week.

11. KANSAS CITY (7) - Jimmy Gobble. GOBBLE GOBBLE! Ok, I'll stop. GOBBLE! Sorry... what a great name... Gobble.

12. CHICAGO WHITE SOX (12) - Whoa, hold on now. Fans are staying off the field and players are actually showing up on it!

13. ST. LOUIS (13) - Took two of three from Atlanta while giving up just three runs in the two wins. Confusing enough? How about this: Pujols is real good.

14. CHICAGO CUBS (18) - Prior returns strong, going 2-0 with 15 Ks in 15 innings while walking just 2 and allowing one run.

15. MINNESOTA (19) - They've now beaten Detroit in 20 of their last 21 meetings. The more amazing stat is that they've actually lost 1 of their last 21 against Detroit. Shameful.

16. LOS ANGELES (14) - Can we just let them use aluminum bats?

17. COLORADO (16) - Still in the wild-card race despite completely eliminating the aspect of pitching from the game. (5.07 team ERA with 142 HRs allowed and an opponent's on-base percentage of .355... Oh, and they've also hit a major league worst 67 batters for good measure).

18. BALTIMORE (21) - Grabbing Moss and Ainsworth could be a big deal somewhere in the future... Probably the distant future, but whatever.

19. MONTREAL (15) - Their 59 wins convert to like 97 with the Canadian exchange rate though, right?

20. TORONTO (17) - Even Delgado's been struggling lately - just six for his last 32 (.188) with one homerun.

21. PITTSBURGH (22) - Giles and Kendall are still hitting. Get rid of them.

22. ANAHEIM (20) - Not real big on that whole defending their World Series thing I guess (5-20 since the All-Star Break).

23. TEXAS (26) - Why do people want to stay here?!?! Yes, that means you, Palmeiro. And you too, Juan. Have you seen Pudge lately?

24. CINCINNATI (23) - Ok, it's bad. But would you really want Pete Rose managing the team?

25. CLEVELAND (24) - Ahh... nice and comfortable back in 25th - they were getting dizzy way up their at #24.

26. NY METS (25) - Well, at least they're exciting to watch.* (*denotes lie)

27. TAMPA BAY (29) - This is what dreams are made of.

28. MILWAUKEE (27) - This team makes my stomach hurt.

29. SAN DIEGO (28) - Hey, you know what? Arnold Schwarzenegger's gonna be your governor. That's all you need.

30. DETROIT (30) - I don't want to be rude. So goodbye.

Luke Lapinski lives in Tempe, AZ and attends the Arizona State University, where he hosts the radio show, "The Mad UnderGrads." He once ate a hot dog from the Kingdome and survived to tell about it. Luke enjoys reading feedback, and can be reached at

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