Luke's Power Rankings

It's opening day 2005 and Luke Lapinski is back with his power rankings. Stay tuned all season as Luke chimes in from the desert with his thoughts on how the league is shaking out.

1. NY Yankees (last year: 101-61) - Sure, they have a $205 million payroll, but that's only about 160 million euros. That's right. This team's NOTHING in Luxembourg!

2. St. Louis (105-57) - If the last month has taught us anything, its that Tony LaRussa believes in Mark. At this point, I'm assuming he means Mulder, right?

3. Boston (98-64) - Talk to me in 86 years.

4. Atlanta (96-66) - Tim Hudson and Leo Mazzone are brought together. And the collective batting average of the National League just dropped.

5. Anaheim (92-70) - Now everyone in California can pull for the Los Angeles Carlsbad Burbank La Jolla Chino Angels of Anaheim Sacramento Compton (LACBLJCASC). See how much easier that is than calling them the Anaheim Angels?

6. Florida (83-79) - Adding Delgado gives this well balanced offense unlimited potential. The defense and pitching were already there. Keep an eye on them.

7. Minnesota (92-70) - Okay, so let's figure Santana starts about 30 games… there's 30 wins right there… they're already guaranteed to finish ahead of KC.

8. Chicago Cubs (89-73)- Prior? And Wood? Nursing injuries? No way!

9. San Diego (87-75) - Jake Peavy (15-6, 2.27 ERA) is becoming a true ace and they have the offense to do some damage. Now, bring back the camo uniforms!

10. San Francisco (91-71) - Could be without Barry for a long while. Hopefully, they'll still be more interesting than those Sanford and Son reruns he talks about.

11. Texas (89-73) - And yet you keep Chan Ho on the roster? Why?

12. Houston (92-70) - Can Jason Lane step up and fill some of the void left by the loss of Carlos Beltran?

13. Los Angeles (92-70) - No! You're not allowed to put together a decent team and then start Hee Seop Choi at first! Just stop!

14. Baltimore (78-84) - Addition of Sosa to an already potent lineup has the AL East wrapped up for these guys. The Sox and Yankees have their own division now, right?

15. Chicago White Sox (83-79) - I'm assuming that when the Black Sox threw the Series back in 1919, they didn't think they would be at 88 years and counting without a championship.

16. Philadelphia (86-76) - T.O. will play in the World Series if you get there. How's that?

17. Seattle (63-99) - Newcomers Beltre and Sexson should revitalize hitters like Bret Boone. But can they make Joel Piniero and Gil Meche better pitchers again?

18. Cleveland (80-82) - With young talent just about everywhere (see: Peralta, Hafner, Broussard, Martinez, Sizemore, etc.), the future looks real bright.

19. Oakland (91-71) - Had to get rid of one of the big three. So they decided to get rid of the best two (Hudson, Mulder). Huh??

20. NY Mets (71-91) - Know what? Even if it says "Beltran" and "Martinez" on the back of the jersey, it still says "Mets" on the front.

21. Cincinnati (76-86) - At least once this year, Adam Dunn will strikeout so hard that the wind from his swing will push the ball over the fence for a homerun anyway.

22. Detroit (72-90) - If all the starters can pitch the way Jeremy Bonderman did near the end of '04 (5-3 in his last 8 starts with a 2.32 ERA and 60 K's), they could make some noise in the AL East. Yes, an entire rotation of Bonder-Men would help this team immensely…

23. Arizona (51-111) - Solid off season pickups such as Troy Glaus, Javier Vasquez, Shawn Green, and Jose Cruz have led me to make "Personal Guarantee #1": 2005 will not see the D'Backs break the 100 loss mark as they did in 2004.

24. Pittsburgh (72-89) - Benito Santiago signs on for a 20th season, this time with the Pirates. Why, you ask? Because he just may have found that key to a world series ring… okay, no one knows why he signed on.

25. Toronto (67-94) - Let's see here, the Blue Jays now represent the only professional baseball being played in Canada. And Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells represent the only professional baseball being played on the Blue Jays. Therefore, Halladay and Wells ARE baseball in Canada. Fine, Halladay, Wells, and Frank Menechino.

26. Milwaukee (67-94) - In perhaps the offseason's most cunning strategic move, the Brewers countered the Yankees' Big Unit signing by picking up Ricky Bottalico. Take THAT!

27. Washington (67-95) - So then why aren't they the Puerto Rico Montreal Nationals of Washington?

28. Tampa Bay (70-91) - You know you're not technically still an expansion team after 7 years right? Its okay to win every once in a while. No one will get offended or anything.

29. Colorado (68-94) - If the air was really that rare up in Colorado, couldn't this team have just kind of floated away by now?

30. Kansas City (58-104) - "Personal Guarantee #2": uhhh... 2005 will not see the Royals break the… umm… 1,000 loss mark. I think.

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