1. St. Louis (8) - Sporting the best record in baseball, thanks in part to winning 12 of their last 14 - and to playing the Brewers a lot (5-1 already in ‘05).
2. Chicago White Sox (9) - Imagine if Paul Konerko was hitting higher than .229. Scary.
3. Baltimore (13) - Brian Roberts is now just 736 HR's away from breaking Hank Aaron's career HR mark. We'll keep you posted.
4. Florida (4) - 4-0, 1.50 ERA, 2 CG‘s?!? What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?
5. Minnesota (5) – Usually, they have the Central wrapped up by now. What gives?
6. Atlanta (1) - Sure, Atlanta fans get a perennial baseball contender year in and year out. But they have to live with the Hawks of the NBA.
7. Anaheim (7) - Hey, they only gave up 10 RBI's in one game to A-Rod. Could've been worse. Not really sure how, but it could've been.
8. Arizona (15) - With Javier Vazquez finally rounding back into old form (2-0, 11 K‘s, and a 1.20 ERA in his last 2 starts) and Brandon Lyon (10 saves, 2.08 ERA) emerging from the ‘pen, they've become a real threat in the NL. Now, if they could just get through that 7th inning…
9. Los Angeles (6) - Sweep at the hands of the D'Backs has brought them back to Earth.
10. Boston (3) - Do the Red Sox just hate everyone?
11. Chicago Cubs (11) - They'll absorb the Nomar loss and be just fine. Assuming, Derrek Lee hits 97 homeruns. And Jerry Hairston is actually Miguel Tejada in disguise. Piece of cake.
12. NY Yankees (2) - Smoke is actually shooting out of Steinbrenner's ears right now.
13. Seattle (14) - Jamie Moyer's already 4-0. And all the M's are asking is for him to win his age (42).
14. San Francisco (16) - Barry's back! Just kidding. How‘s a mediocre season sound?
15. Detroit (26) - Games are getting snowed out? IT'S MAY!
16. Toronto (12) - Gustavo Chacin (4-1, 2.48 ERA) might just be the most surprising young pitcher in baseball right now.
17. Washington (18) - John Patterson (2-1, 0.98 ERA, 23 K's) might just be the most surprising young pitcher in baseball right now.
18. San Diego (10) – Jake Peavy putting his name on the list of early Cy Young candidates (2-0, 1.77 ERA, 41 K's).
19. Texas (21) - Just kinda hanging around like everyone else in the AL West.
20. NY Mets (24) - Ok, these rankings aren't nearly as enjoyable if I can't make fun of the Mets as much.
21. Oakland (25) - See: Texas.
22. Philadelphia (19) - What has happened to Jim Thome? (1 HR, 26 K‘s, .208 average). I'm sure it's Larry Bowa's fault somehow though, right?
23. Houston (12) - There's no "O" in Houston. No, don't look closer at the word. Just trust me. There's no "O" in Houston (77 runs through 21 games). They may as well be called the Hustn Astrs. (Or the Kansas City Royals)
24. Cincinnati (22) - What's the bigger surprise here? That Griffey is went 25 games without a home run or that he's playing this deep into the season?
25. Cleveland (23) - Alex Cora is second on the team in hitting (.302). Moving on…
26. Milwaukee (20) - Well, they're 4-1 against the Pirates. So they really only have 5 wins this year.
27. Pittsburgh (27) - Bring back Bobby Bonilla!
28. Tampa Bay (28) - Just look away.
29. Colorado (30) - So who's the genius that thought putting Byung-Hyun Kim in that Colorado air would work out well? That's about the equivalent of adding fire to gas.
30. Kansas City (29) - Rest assured, they'd be ranked lower if there were more teams.
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