Sean Thompson journal

Sean Thompson might be the best left-handed pitching prospect in the Padres organization. Some think he's arrogant, most think he's talented, but Sean knows what he is. He is on the brink. In 2005, he'll be checking in every Tuesday with, keeping a journal for the world to see. Want a peek behind the curtain? Want to see the stuff even <i>Bull Durham</i> didn't show you?

Here it is, week one of what will become known as Thompson Tuesdays, (we already know it is Thursday), exclusively from

One month left. I've got one month before I start the biggest season of my life.

Nervous? Yeah, I guess you can say that. Let's be honest though, when has there not been pressure on me? When have I not had unbelievable weight on my shoulders to do well? I think I'm more anxious than nervous. I think, for the most part, nerves show weakness, and I have no slack to wear a weakness out in the open.

So far my offseason has consisted of good news, and basically Baseball Dream Drive has begun its construction. The hard work that I have put in in the past is now is just the past. For the past few months I have been getting in condition; running, throwing, and thinking. I had been in Tennessee with my girlfriend Kristen for most of my offseason. While I was out in Knoxville, spending the time I had with her, working out everyday, I realized something I never thought I would.

Its my time to shine now. What I do now will reflect on what happens on the field. I had always been able to kinda just show up and strap it up for each game. Now I must bare down and go the extra mile to reach my dream. Pro baseball has been a great experience for me, I must say. I'm from a small town in Colorado, where everyone knows my name, (and therefore has quite the sour taste in their mouth) everyone sees everything your doing at all times, and exposes your every move. Now, I'm starting to realize the margin of error is not going to be determined by the haters in my town or state, its going to be measured by me.

I'm not going to have to wake up every morning and wonder if that person over there is giving me that dirty look because I lost the State Championship for my team junior year. I have to wake up every morning and look into the mirror and stare into that person's eyes and ask myself if I'm ready to do what it takes. Ready to do what no one thought I could do. Arrogant as I am, part of me wants to make it just so every single doubter can turn on their TV, and as they rant and rave about how I was a failure, a jerk, and a talent without a brain, they can see me sitting in the dugout, or throwing in the 7th.

Yeah, that's right, while I'm sitting on six figures, playing a game I love, you'll all know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking, "Say sumpin' now."

Preparation for this season and the rest of my career is driven partly by all you haters that ever wanted me to fail, willing me with all your heart to fall short. So I guess I should be thanking you as well. Lessons in my life have been, without question, long, drawn out, and painful. But all those lessons that have helped me grow into the baseball player that I am now.

Each hitter I face, in a hidden part of my heart, still resembles Todd Stancliff. Each time I get ahead 0-2, that game flashes in my mind. A game I lost, the State Championship that I lost when I was one strike away.

No I didn't give up a hit, I threw it to the backstop, and the tying runner scored. Even now, as I go into my first big league Spring Training I have that to remember, and learn from. My arm is ready, my heart is willing to do what it takes. My mind is set, and the chip on my shoulder is now a boulder ready to Bulldog each and every hitter I face.

I've always hated Spring Training, because I hate to run. But this weak it will be nice to hop on the treadmill, because even though I'm running in place, I'll be catching up to my dream.

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