(Barry's nickname as a player? "Bones.'' The noun. Tony's new nickname as a playa? "Bones.'' The action verb.)
Tough week for married star point guards in the Western Conference, and these things happen in threes, so … Jason Kidd, go hug your fiancée.
On a serious note: Having been through a divorce (and I use the word "a'' loosely), I understand the feelings of pain and the desire for privacy. In my profession, I try to separate the "meaningless gossip'' from "basketball stories.''
When Eva was accusing Tony of cheating, that was gossip-column stuff.
When Eva tells the media that Tony was cheating with the wife of a Spur?
That's a basketball story.
DONUT 2: In other NBA (non-)relationship news: Rihanna is forcefully denying – complete with a disgusted "Ugh!'' – reports that she is dating Andrew Bynum.
"I just, uggghhh! I'm a Laker fan, but Andrew Bynum? Date wise? Ugh, I just couldn't believe they insulted me like that."
Is Andrew Bynum unattractive, ladies? To me, he looks like God took Tracy Morgan and Stretch-Armstronged him. But is that bad?
DONUT 3: May I politely invite you to check out DB.com Boards! Sign up or browse about … It's free! There's Mavs buzz and you can get in on it at DB.com Boards!
DONUT 4: You don't really "hate'' LeBron James; it's just fun picking a villain, right?
Esquire magazine's Scott Raab – a talented writer and a native Ohioan – really hates LeBron.
A couple of Scott's recent tweets directed down to South Beach:
*In response to LeBron being nominated for Time's "Person of the Year'': "No big deal. Hitler once won it.''
*Look in the mirror, m-----------. You're a f------ loser and always will be.''
*"WhoreOfAkron (Raab's nickname for LeBron) just woke up. Go f--- yourself, you gutless punk.''
The Heat's response? They are not going to credential Raab for Heat games. In fact, they've told him he is "no longer welcome in our building.''
Tough spot, because while Raab's position seems less than professional … press row is full of guys who are less than professional.
Really, the Heat would be wise to be "the bigger man'' here, but gestures of humility do not seem to be Miami's forte right now.
DONUT 5: We watched "Schindler's List'' the other day, and it reminded me of a chunk of movie trivia that seems unthinkable now: On the short list of early-1980's stars to play the lead role eventually won by Liam Neeson:
Yes, Mel Gibson was going to save the Jews.
As powerful as "Schindler's List'' is, I wonder if it holds up quite as well today with drunken anti-Semite Gibson as its star?
DONUT 6: CBS ranked Dallas as the No. 2 team in the NBA going into last night.
Actually, it went like this:
Decent division, eh?
"Forget the conference, forget the Lakers and all that,'' said Jason Terry after having met New Orleans twice in 48 hours. "Look at our (Southwest) Division. I mean, San Antonio, Memphis, us and Houston-- I mean, it's tough.''
DONUT 8: Are y'all an NBA2K guy?
I'll be in the house that day, and if you come out, you can win lower-level Mavericks tickets! Entry is FREE at Game Havens. Come hoop it up on the 60" flat screens with an XBOX!
DONUT 9: Team Cam Newton's crime isn't unusual in college football. But Team Cam Newton's stupdity -- a paper trail? Demands made via text? -- that is unusual. For if everyone in college football who cheated were all this stupid, there wouldn't BE college football because they would all get caught.
DONUT 10: iDealGolfer iDealGolfer.com offers singular specials, every day, giving you opportunities to play golf, to get apparel, to eat, drink and be merry as a golfer … at incredible discount prices! Check ‘em out!
Want proof? How about the Links at Land's End Stay-N-Play Package for $50!
DONUT 11: Ron Washington didn't win AL Manager of the Year. Makes no sense, unless maybe you are a voter who would like to penalize the Rangers boss for being just a year removed from the cocaine thing. Hey, their heads are still spinning from having to face the reality of steroids in baseball ... and now you want them do deal with cocaine in the manager's office?
DONUT 12: Want to see my theory of Sports Villains as an ongoing lab experiment? Let's watch as Tiger Woods in recent days has a) gone on Twitter, b) written an article for Newsweek and c) appeared on ESPN Radio with "Mike and Mike.'' THIS is the real Tiger rehab ... combine all that with the actual winning of a tournament, and Tiger will be back.