Wednesday Donuts (And A Bowl Of Cold Fries)

I'm in a good mood this morning. But just to show that I am the Chosen One of this website, I am going to throw this bowl of Donuts against the wall because they are cold. So there.

DONUT 1: It's a hidden gem in The 75-Member Staff's work on covering the Dallas Mavericks. It's …

The Mavs climb to .500 all-time.

Our man Greensborohill oversees the Run to .500 Watch on Boards and here we go, coming into the week:

Current Record : 1,219 wins and 1,225 losses

Winning Percentage: 499

Then came the win over Houston, and coming up …

Tonight hosting Minnesota

Friday December 3rd: @ Utah

Saturday December 4th: @ Sacramento

Tuesday December 7th: Golden State

Thursday December 9th: New Jersey (Avery & Devin!)

You can see it. You can feel it. Four decades in, finally. … .500!

DONUT 2: One more set of entering-the-week numbers from Greensborohill, regarding the impact of The UberMan on all this:

Dallas (Pre Dirk): 585 wins and 891 losses

Winning Percentage: .396

Dallas w/ Dirk: 634 wins and 334 losses

Winning Percentage: .655

DONUT 3: I am missing something?

What is this "controversy'' surrounding Roddy B's "participation'' in the D-League Texas Legends' first-ever home opener last night in Frisco?

So Beaubois was "assigned'' to the minor-league team, if only for a moment. So he was "used'' as a prop. So he spent the evening away from the guiding hand of Carlisle and staff.

What was Roddy B going to do all Tuesday night anyway? Lift weights all night? Hyperbaric Chamber all night? The kid doesn't get to go have any fun?

This is a relationship thing. Roddy B is close to Donnie. Donnie owns the Legends and is the GM of the Mavs. Donnie is close to Mark Cuban, who approved the arrangement … and as long as Beaubois didn't hurt himself driving 15 minutes up the highway, who is hurt by this?

Was it a PR thing? Yes. It was also a PR thing for Cuban himself to be there. Which he was.

Hey, wait a minute! Shouldn't Cuban have been downtown working on Mavs spreadsheets or something!?

Once upon a time, I was the president of the Texas Tornado, a minor-league hockey team. (Betcha didn't know that!) My greatest value to the club: The celebrity guests who I used my masculine charms on to persuade to come to throw out the first puck.

Among my friends who came out to play: Daryl Johnston came out. Bill Bates came out. So did, most impressively to the minor-league hockey world, Mike Modano.

We presented Modano with a ceremonial Texas Tornado sweater. No. 9 and everything. He was right down there on the ice, with a puck and a stick.

But he never PLAYED FOR THE TEAM. It was just for fun. It was just him doing a favor to a friend. No laws were broken.

If you feel this Roddy B deal is some sort of a violation of some sort of something, you take your D-League basketball WAY to seriously. (I will concede, this could've been handled in a tighter way; there was a gap between the announcement of Roddy B's "assignment'' and Cuban's clarification. Therefore, for anyone who didn't read my immediate "educated opinion'' that Beaubois was going to the game to "shake hands and kiss babies,'' there was confusion.)

Lighten up, Francis. The kid attended a basketball game in which a bunch of his peers were playing … as the guest of the owner, who happens to be his friend and his boss. and this is minor-league ball, where gimmicks are part of the fun and the score (135-112 over the Austin Toros thanks to a league-record 84 points in the first half, with DoJo scoring 25 and Roddy B, Cuban and attendee Shawn Marion all failing to score) is not at all important.

DONUT 4: Three great ways to stay in touch with what the heck is going on around here: Boards, Mavs coverage on Twitter, and Friending Fish on Facebook. Come say hi. I seem nice.

Oh, and we're planning the Mavs Podcast with Mike Bacsik and Fish for Lunch today at noon!

DONUT 5: Tyson Chandler is about to enter the Club. Watch and see. You're gonna like this.

DONUT 6: Today's special from It's Golf and Lunch at Prairie Lakes Golf Course, ANY DAY for $15!

DONUT 7: We hand this Donut over to our man David Lord, who is a harsh critic of Caron Butler – a harsh critic with a heart of gold:

I agree with the negative-slanted observations on Butler – at least those that were registered before he put up 42 points in two games.

But I also favor dealing with real life. So I'm not much for fantasy trades here and I'm not one for up-and-down knee-jerk reactions to the performances of a player who, traditionally, has had ups and downs.

Let's recognize that bad habits take time to replace with good ones. Butler won't suddenly be magically transformed into what we want. So the fact that we see a positive here and a negative there - to me, the positives consist of steps in the right direction.

I have other specifics - ones that to me are way bigger - than fixing the "settle for the contested jumper" habit. I see those improving too.

I think he has the player skills that CAN (in theory) get there ...and lots of players don't even have those tools to work with. In addition, rather than give him away just to trade him, I'll gladly taking a "1/2 the time" or "3/4 of the time" doing it right, if that's the best the Mavs can get, rather than demand perfection and swapping him for something just as flawed or worse.

If I'm a GM, I'm very patient before I start accepting 60-cents-on-the-dollar trade offers. I'd rather try to get the most out of the guy I have first. That's what I see the Mavs doing. And in the last week or so, that patience seems to be paying off.

DONUT 8: I said this early on about DoJo and I say it again: The one thing he does well (get to the basket) isn't enough to push him to the head of the class in terms of being a rotation player.

There are other Mavs who defend as well. … lots of other Mavs who shoot better … and when Roddy B comes back, a rim-attacker who is better, too.

It's very convenient that the Legends – Jones' new team as of last night – not only play right up the road, but are embarking on a home stand. That means Dominique won't be traveling around the minor-league countryside too much. He'll be right here, where the Mavs can keep an eye on him … and pull him right back downtown when the time is right.

But remember that when that happens, it might coincide with Beaubois' return to the court. Meaning even with some D-League seasoning, DoJo still won't be moving to the Mavs' head of the class.

DONUT 10: Leslie Nielsen looks like Del Harris.

That's what everybody always said. But does the late actor really look like the NBA guru? Remove the distinctive field of thick white hair, though, and … to my artistic eye, they really don't even look alike.

Nevertheless, R.I.P. And don't call me "Shirley.''

DONUT 11: Oh. And nice beaver.

DONUT 12: There's one thing I never tired of:

Being right.

So let me beat the drum again: LeBron James won't change his behavior until he changes his advisors. These "buddies'' of his are the ones who should be ordering him to mind his coach, to supplement his teammates, to embrace his fans (past and present).

Instead, we're getting "sourced leaks'' from "somebody inside the Heat'' saying that coach Erik Spoelstra's handling of LeBron is the team's problem. And the leak is broken by the same reporter that breaks a number of stories that effort to make LeBron and buddies like Maverick Carter look like they know what they are doing.

They don't. This is the blind leading the blind. And there will be more of this. Allow me to predict a coming story from ESPN's Chris Broussard that says a "source inside the Heat'' thinks Chris Bosh is too soft, and then another story from Chris with a "source inside the Heat'' saying Wade is a ballhog.

Clip and save this.

What is happening right now is Team LeBron working hard at trying to manipulate perception (and doing it badly, as Maverick Carter is probably a few hours short of his Masters Degree in Business from Harvard) instead of doing what Team LeBron should be working at.

Support your coach. Supplement your teammates. Embrace your fans.

DONUT 13: I'm still in deep thought over Sunday's NFL Non-Play of the Year, when wide receiver Stevie Johnson of the lowly Bills dropped a deep (apparent) TD through that prevented his team from downing powerful Pittsburgh.

And if that wasn't emotional enough … Stevie conducted his teary-eyed postgame presser … and then took to Twitter:


It's all there: Addressing God, questioning God, praising God and ultimately thanking God … complete with the fairly understandable 19 exclamation points and with the forever-unanswerable "How???!!!''

Visit the Store: Night at the Mavs on Dec. 28, two tickets and a T-shirt for $22!

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