Donuts: A Coming Mavs-Spurs Showdown

Jet talks up your team, Jack Nicholson buys you a Red Ryder BB gun, Roddy B's still in the tub and I serve up the Sunday Morning Mavs Donuts!



DONUT 1: Here's Jason Terry, as quoted by Sefko: "We take pride in going into other people's gym and kicking their butt. That's the thing about us. It doesn't matter where we're at."

Dallas is 10-1 on the road. No arguments there.

More Jet: "It's still a fight. But we've positioned ourselves now to go out and have a great season. I think personally we're better than every team in the league. And that's no disrespect to the Spurs or anybody.''

If Terry is trying to say Dallas is superior to the Spurs – and he is – there is some argument there. But before those who bathe in the Ugly-Ass River get too offended, understand this: Jason Terry always thinks such things, always says such things. He's openly insisted that "This is the Year'' every single year he's been a Mav.

It'll be good when there are finally games (Monday at OKC, home Tuesday against the Raptors and then, notably, an 8:30 Thursday game at the AAC with the aforementioned Spurs) to help us take some steps toward proving Jet right this time.

DONUT 2: What did Marcia get me for Christmas? Lots of golf-related stuff.

Where did she get it? iDealGolfer.com!

DONUT 3: That was the best of all worlds for Cowboys fans, right?

You got your Christmas night thrill in Arizona.

You got to see Jason Garrett pushing your team and playing hard.

You got to see that you might have a little something in third-string QB McGee.

And you got to lose, thus guaranteeing your team a top-10 draft pick.

I'm serious. And I'm not rubbing it in. I wish the same thing for my Vikings, but unlike you, I can't get my wish, because Brett Favre's all-important (to him) record clogs the path to Joe Webb.

DONUT 4: "There's no timetable.''

That's the quote from Rick Carlisle on Roddy B's return.

The Mavs will end up slapping a smiley face on this. When Beaubois does come back from his broken foot (this year sometime, right?) they will say:

a) "It's almost like we've just signed a prized free agent!''

And they will say

b) "He's going to be so fresh he will be by far the fastest player on the floor.''

Both will be true. But neither will solve the mystery of why a "two-to-three month'' recovery now takes … forever.

DONUT 5: OK, you've glanced at your TV often enough to see pieces of "A Christmas Story'' 1,000 times.

Trivia: Guess the actor who almost played the role of Ralphie's father in "A Christmas Story.''

Answer in Donut 11.

DONUT 6: A note to those NBA folks – coaches, players, media -- complaining about games on Christmas:

You – we – are in the entertainment business. Offering our entertainment product on holidays is good business. It can be a sort of inconvenience to families and stuff (though I assume Kobe's family, for instance, somehow muddled through). But all in all, the families pay a small price, we are rewarded by being gifted the opportunity to have jobs, and the audience is given the opportunity to partake in the entertainment offered.

Those NBA folks who don't get this … Do y'all watch TV on Christmas? Go to the grocery store? Take in a movie? Go to church?

Who do you think runs the TV network, the grocery store, the theater and the church?

It's people who are working on Christmas. Just like you.

DONUT 7: OK, another note on the subject. ... because the same ol' tripe on being anti-NBA-on-Christmas keeps bubbling up, this time from Stan Van Grumpy.

"I think the NBA is so important to Christmas that what we really need to do is increase from five games to 10,'' Van Gundy said sarcastically. "And we need to start them at midnight on Christmas Eve and play 'em all through the day so there's not a minute of Christmas Day where there's not a game on TV. The NBA is Christmas.''

Har-har.

If these poor SOBs are going to keep beating the same drum, I'm beating back: What did you do all day yesterday? Did you watch TV? Did you a meal? Did you use electricity? Did you go to church?

Didn't some worker run the TV station? Didn't some lovely person cook the turkey? Didn't some short-straw-drawer punch in at TXU? Didn't your priest write his sermon?

People enjoy Christmas. One of the ways they enjoy Christmas is by occupying their time … with food and entertainment and whatnot.

Stan, it is your job to provide some of that.

Merry Christmas.

DONUT 8: Michael Jordan just bought a $3.1 million luxury condo in Charlotte. It's his first permanent home in the city in which he works.

DONUT 9: If you watched Mavs at Orlando last week, you may have noticed a camera shot from behind the Magic basket … with Dwight Howard at the free-throw line … and with Tyson Chandler in his slot in the lane, waiting, waiting, waiting … and bending his arm back and forth in the NBA language of "clock ticking.''

What T.Y. was trying to persuade the refs to notice is something they finally acknowledged a few nights later …

DONUT 10: Miami 96, Lakers 80 … and Kobe is pissed.

"We always suck on Christmas,'' Bryant said. "I don't think we're mean enough to be able to show up on Christmas Day and play. We should just take off this day.''

Kobe's sense of history is accurate. Since Bryant entered the NBA in 1996, his Lakers are just 5-8 on Christmas.

DONUT 11: Jack Nicholson.

Who – let's be honest – might've been pretty dangerous chasing the Bumpuses' dogs and erecting the Stocking-Leg Lamp … but would've had to act his ass off to better Darren McGavin.

DONUT 12: This would be a great weekend to get to percolatin' on those New Year's resolutions, one of which should certainly be: Don't text and drive.

I mean, you and I follow each other and share thoughts with each other on DB.com Boards, on Twitter, and on Facebook.

But we can wait to do it until we're out from behind the wheel, OK?


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