Donuts: Dirk Dance, Fish TV, Party

Monday Morning Mavs Donuts: Our Mavs Get-Together is Wednesday at ThreeSheets! ... You asked for Dirk's Big Balls Dance - here's the exclusive video ... Cuban and Sheen and 'why not' ... Mavs-at-Minny tonight and I'm on the TV team that brings it to you at 6:30 on FoxSports Southwest ... Oh, and that nasty third quarter that meant a loss to Memphis ...

DONUT 1: The Dallas Mavericks didn't register a rare loss on Sunday, 104-103 at home to the Grizz, because Zach Randolph converted on an answered prayer at .3 seconds. This loss -- just the second in 20 outings -- was birthed in the third quarter, when Dallas allowed an 18-point lead to evaporate. And all the while, it appeared like the Mavs assumed Memphis has started up the bus and given up.


"(In the third) we didn't take the challenge at either end," Mavs boss Rick Carlisle said. "The whole game is the third quarter. You give up 41 points, turn it over six times, and basically don't take the challenge – you get what you deserve. That's really the bottom line."

Dallas held Memphis to 38 total points in the first half and then gave up 41 in one period. It did so while Peja was telegraphing cross-court passes, while Roddy B was dribbling needlessly into traffic, while catchable balls were clanging off the hands of Ian and Big Wood, while 'Trix was tossing up garbage ...

Maybe this serves as a reminder that Dallas isn't THAT good. ... And maybe the Mavs should take notice of an angry Dirk, who gestured furiously after each mistake. (His own included, and there were plenty of those.)

"That's what happens sometimes if you give up big leads all the time,'' Dirk said before the Mavs exited their locker room for a trip to Minny for tonight's game. "At some point, it's going to come back to bite you.''

Want more inside coverage of your Mavs? Go Mavs and Go Premium ... this is as good as it gets!

DONUT 2: Quote of the Night that I think deserves further evaluation:

"You've got to play 48 minutes, and we didn't do that,'' J-Kidd said. "So it's a lesson learned. We've got to treasure those leads. For us it's just something that we've got to concentrate on.''

Sounds good. But a team this experienced ... needs to "learn lessons''?


Get more of the good stuff from the locker room in the Mavs Quoteboard!

DONUT 3: Hey, I've got a way for you to get 2 FREE tickets to the March 24 Mavs game (Mark Cuban Bobblehead Night!) PLUS two 'UBERMAN' shirts … all for the regular $37.99 price of the shirts! Order now (while the handful we have lasts) and you get the tickets and will personally hand you your UBERMAN shirts before the game!

We're making this VERY simple … and here goes:

*Email me right now at … tell me you want 2 Dallas Mavericks tickets and 2 UBERMAN shirts. You MUST give me your T-shirt size.


*Via email, I'll provide you our PayPal info. Make your $37.99 payment there … once that's received, I'll email you back with pregame meeting plans outside of the AAC at Victory Plaza. We'll hand you your UBERMAN shirts, you'll have your tickets, we'll talk a little Mavs and get you all dressed up with somewhere to go: a Mavs game for two for just $37.99!!

It's 2 FREE Mavs tickets so this package is going to go fast … and when supplies are out, that's all she wrote! Email me now and win!

DONUT 4: This weekend, regarding his budding professional relationship with the suddenly infamous Charlie Sheen, our man Mark Cuban asked a rhetorical question.

"Why not?''

Rhetorical. But even still ... I'm at Tony Cubes' service. I have a pair of reasons "why not?'':

DONUT 5: a) because Charlie Sheen is sane. In which case this entire campaign is therefore a self-touting vehicle that promotes drug use, hedonism and misbehavior and is the height of cynical manipulation of the public.

Or …

DONUT 6: b) because Charlie Sheen is insane. In which case Cuban is considering financing and televising a human train wreck in slow motion, a potential tragedy that will unravel before our eyes. The show will be "Network II.'' Charlie Sheen will become Howard Beale Jr. And Mark Cuban will play Faye Dunaway.

DONUT 7: Either way, while there are viewers to be had and money to be made and something "interesting'' to be examined, and while Cuban has both a Midas touch and a common man's feel … there are your "why nots.''

DONUT 8: Having said all that: You NEED writers, Charlie Sheen. (Call Chuck Lorre?) You need writers because just saying "Winning!'' repeated in interviews, on the air and on Twitter can start to wear a tad thin after two weeks.

I know that Charlie thinks he turned the "Two and A Half Men'' scripts from "tin cans to gold.'' I also know that I think little of the show, so maybe I'm the wrong potential fan to ask. But I bet Cuban will do more than just point a camera and allow Sheen's brain to simply display its superiority.

Writers. Scripts. Sanity. Those will be needed, fellas, to avoid 'Jumping The Shark' - or to avoid a being categorized by a new term I just coined:

Jumping the Sheen. ©

DONUT 9: We're hosting a Mavs Get-Together on Wednesday. We'll do it at our favorite Dallas hangout, ThreeSheets! Half-price pizza for the first half, a few free UberMan t-shirts to be tossed about, and yeah, I'll probably buy you a shot at the end of the first quarter of Mavs-Hornets! See you at the Get-Together!


And while you're fiddling around on Facebook ... Please join our Dallas Mavericks FISH Facebook Page ... prizes to be won, fun to be had, friends to be made! C'mon! I seem nice!

DONUT 10: Chris Paul went down for the Hornets last night. They brought out a stretcher. There was a prayer circle from both teams. They talked about a possible concussion and maybe a neck injury ... Turns out to be nothing too serious, they say; CP3 made the trip to Chicago for tonight but won't play.

We joke around about injuries ... and the coinciding good and bad fortune ... but this was frightening. And a reminder of how the fate of a team, even a franchise, can move just like that, riding on a stretcher.

DONUT 11: Onto tonight: Ro Blackman and Mark Followill and yours truly and the whole FS Southwest gang will bring you the telecast starting at 6:30 with "Mavs Live.'' Two quickie thoughts:

*The Mavs are going to score 100-plus, right? Even with the Sunday loss, they are 34-3 when they score 100 points or more. Meanwhile, Minnesota (15-49) allows an NBA-worst 107.3 points per game. And when Minny foes hit 100, Minny is 5-41.

*Who stops Kevin Love? Is TY back? Or is it Big Wood, who gave effort but still allowed 27/9 to Z-Bo? Love can tie Moses Malone's post-merger record for consecutive double-doubles at 51. And this isn't a concern about Love getting a 10/10; this is about somebody trying to keep him from going 20/20.

DONUT 12: OK, OK. I've made you wait long enough. Here's the Dirk Big Balls Dance video, shot exclusively by's Kevin Brolan:

"That's what I do!" - Dirk.

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