Mavs Donuts: The Fab 5 Invented Everything!

Monday Morning Mavs Donuts: Jordan for 100, another Mavs-Miami Finals scab picked at, 'Take That Wit Chew' makes SportsCenter, The Fab 5 invented everything, and, hey, I Thought White People Don't Watch The NBA?

DONUT 1: Scottie Pippen says if MJ played today, he'd average 40 a game and score 100 in a game.

Now, let's think through this. Kobe, who just limped through town, averages 25. We've seen Dirk in that range over the years. MJ is so much better than Nowitzki or Bryant that MJ would average 15 points more than they do? You sure, Pip?


Why stop there? Why not 50 a game? If you can score 40, can't you just shoot a few more times and get 50? And why not throw a football over that mountain, while you're at it? Oh, and will you create a huge footprint so we can have another Grand Canyon, please?

DONUT 2: Not much that came out of the Phil & Cuban Vaudeville Show this weekend has much hate or much weight; they sounded more like the bickering elderly grandparents on a bad sitcom than opposing generals in a basketball war. But there was one important nugget: When Phil suggested that Cuban's argumentative style cost the Dallas Mavericks a title.

"I think he's toned it down a little bit the last few years,'' Phil said of Mark. "That Miami Finals really was a tough one to swallow. I think Wade averaged about 25 foul shots a game. You couldn't even touch him. That was really tough to swallow and I think (Mark eventually) understood there's kind of a pecking order in this league and you keep your mouth shut at times."

Cuban declined to take the bait here -- maybe proving that he HAS learned. "I've already gotten fined for that. I'm not going to touch it again," Cuban responded. "My opinion hasn't changed on that series, and it never will."

We've said plenty, too, and we will do it again: Maybe this is just Jackson trying to get under Cuban's skin one more time (and adding a heavy undertone to the vaudeville act). Or maybe Jackson is serious about the "pecking order'' comment, which is almost Donaghyian in its seriousness.

DONUT 3: A letter from Reader Eric L:

"Fish, I've followed your website for three years now. It has become my No. 1 source for Mavs news. And I have to share something with you. I didn't watch the New Jersey-Clippers game. However, I did watch Sportscenter (Friday night_. At 12:50 a.m. during one of the highlights of the NJ-LAC game, the ESPN announcer used the newest catchphrase ...



"Fish, You have contributed to the newest pop-culture hoops phrase about to sweep the nation!''

Hey, Eric, happy to give SportsCenter some fodder. Thanks for the note. Now you kids go buy a TAKE THAT WIT CHEW t-shirt. It's Fish-tested, Dirk-approved! The 'TAKE THAT WIT CHEW!' from the Store!

DONUT 4: Lost in the daily soap opera of this week past in the Mavs season: The Mavs just got done playing three teams they might see in the postseason -- Memphis, New Orleans, Los Angeles.

All three of those have been losses.

And Tuesday it's at Portland, a team so solid that Dirk lists it as belonging in the same bunch at the Spurs, Mavs and Lakers.

DONUT 5: A big thank you to friends and sponsors like Esparza's,, Game Havens (the Facebook Page) and MavCowTickets!

Guys, make my friends your friends! Each of them are the very best at what they do, and each of them are very helpful in allowing to do our thing, too!

DONUT 6: Want to be right in the middle of your Mavs? It's about a dime-a-day to be a Mavs Premium Member and to get Inside Mavs HQ ... exclusive interviews, analysis, locker-room video, even video of the Mavs in practice ... it's all here. For about a dime-a-day. We even offer a 7-Day Free Trial! Go Mavs and Go Premium! Trust me, you are missing something if you don't have All-Access Pass to the Mavs-Lakers game ... and this is the ONLY way to do it right!

DONUT 7: Please join our Dallas Mavericks FISH Facebook Page ... prizes to be won, fun to be had, friends to be made! C'mon! I seem nice! We'll probably hit 500 friends today or tommorow, at which time somebody is going to win Mavs tickets on me. ... Take That Wit Chew and come aboard!

DONUT 8: I got a lovely note from old friend Bob Ortegel last night regarding his enjoyment of, his consuming of Donuts and his saddened state as a result of the disaster in Japan.

Classy gentleman, this Bob O. Enjoy your Donuts this morning, sir. You are missed on the usual scene but we love having you here on!

DONUT 9: Kobe is a football fan, an Eagles fan. He doesn't want the NFL to miss a season, though as a Cowboys hater, that opinion had to be delivered with one more poke at last year's underachieving Cowboys team.

"Although,'' Kobe said, "in Dallas I don't know how much they'd miss it because it's not like they had (a season) anyway.

DONUT 10: Predictably, it turns out Dallas didn't really "blow it'' on the chase for Devin Harris after all. The Jazz knew what it was shooting for, and the Mavs package was never going to be competitive. Check it out here, along with the Boards discussion!


DONUT 11: If I understand Sunday in basketball correctly ... A bunch of teams got screwed in Bracketology, the Bucks scored just 56 against Boston, Kevin Love didn't get a double-double and the Fab 5 pretty much reinvented the way people play, dress, eat and think.

Does that about do it?

DONUT 12: So TNT's four largest regular-season audiences since the '95-96 campaign have come this season alone.

Hey, I thought White People Don't Like Pro Basketball?!

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