DONUT 1: The Dallas Mavericks are big around the world.
Our man David Teel of Game Havens (check out the Game Havens Facebook Page) is the same. Speaks a million languages in addition to being a ninja when it comes to home theaters, sound systems and gaming rooms. (Call him!)
And Roddy Beaubois? He's a budding international celeb as well.
So it makes sense that we bring them all together for this DB.com Exclusive Video Visit with Roddy B ... all in French:
What are Roddy B and David Teel talking about?
You can play with that question on DB.com Boards while we work toward a full translation. I will say this, though: Roddy B is much more comfortable and revealing in French than he is in his second language. Good job, David!
DONUT 2: Is Tim Duncan's severe ankle sprain - and his expected two-week absence -- a window of opportunity?
The Spurs have three weeks left in the regular season. Then comes Duncan's bid for a fifth title. They are the No. 1 team in basketball based on their excellence and their excellent health; even with Tony Parker's recent injury, the five regular starters have missed a combined total of five games all year.
Does Duncan come back in just two weeks? Will it be longer? Will there be rust? SA doesn't have many vulnerabilities. Maybe Duncan's 34-year-old ankle just became one.
DONUT 3: The TAKE THAT WIT CHEW shirt is now so popular the Mavs themselves are using the shirt and design! The place to order it? The DB.com Store!
DONUT 4: Yesterday was Jason Kidd's 38th birthday. Today is the first day of the rest of his life, or some motivational crap like that.
Actually, today is also Minny-at-Mavs. 7:30 tip and I'll see you before the game on the Plaza and then on the floor as we tape FS Southwest's "Mavs Insider'' show. And of course, we'll have you covered all day and night here on DB.com!
DONUT 5: Quote of the Night at Kidd's Casino event, from Shawn Marion, a proud product of UNLV: "Y'all know I went to school in Vegas, right?'' said the Matrix while trying to intimidate foes at the craps table.
DONUT 6: Plug into DB.com (here and on the Mavs Twitterverse) for the latest on in-game stuff. You'll find Fish, MDug, Kevin Brolan, Followill and the rest of the DB.com gang!
DONUT 7: Why are there so many Mavs fans who have signed on to be DB.com Premium Mavs Fans? This happens to be the most explosive membership growth in the history of FOX Sports, and the examples of why are everywhere!
This is a great time to get you in the middle of your Mavs! It's about a dime-a-day to be a DB.com Mavs Premium Member and to get Inside Mavs HQ ... exclusive interviews, analysis, locker-room video, even video of the Mavs in practice ... it's all here. For about a dime-a-day. We even offer a 7-Day Free Trial! Go Mavs and Go Premium! Trust me, you are going to want the All-Access Pass to the playoffs, too. ... and this is the ONLY way to do it right!
DONUT 8: Our man Ryan at MavCowTickets can get you into the AAC ... he can get you playoff tickets ... he can get the whole family into a game affordably ... and he helped us do it tonight for 40 lucky Mavs fans who are getting UberMan t-shirts along with FREE tickets! Thanks, MavCowTickets!
DONUT 9: Reader 'Randy W' follows up our Tuesday Donuts on the Six Mavs Meltdowns with some salient thoughts:
"Fish, great analysis of those six losses. One other area I would look at is difficulty of the shots. ... In your analysis, there were only 10 Mavs (late-game) free throws mentioned and four of those were missed. They need a way to get to the basket late in games. ... The game we beat the Spurs in the playoffs where Dirk went to the basket and got fouled by Manu is a great example of not settling for jump shots late in the game.
"As far as why the Mavs rebound so poorly in the clutch: look at the recent game where Dirk got six offensive rebounds. When the leader of the team is willing to work that hard and scrap for rebounds, the rest of the team seems to follow his lead. You cannot just depend upon Chandler to get all the rebounds. I hope we see more of this from Dirk in the playoffs.''
Thank you, Randy W. And no, we're not putting too much on Dirk here. Get to the rim and get some rebounds. As Coach O would say, "He Can Do That.''
DONUT 10: So here's the favor I'm asking: You are on Facebook today anyway. And you are on DallasBasketball.com, too, anyway. So ...
Check us out! Click that LIKE button and come on over and join the gang at the Dallas Mavericks FISH Page!
DONUT 11: It is a promotional tour that is trying to explore every vein, from head to toe.
That's from the bottom of Mark Cuban's feet (where he's revealing that his foot cream is also used on his "young-looking face'') to the front of Charlie Sheen's mug (used on Monday night for a wet kiss on the lips of the host of "Jimmy Kimmel Live''). The two burgeoning pals have their angles. From head-to-toe.
What is Cuban selling? Why is he on TV?
What is Sheen selling? Why is he on TV?
Technically, Cuban is presently shilling for ABC-TV's "Shark Tank." That's why the billionaire revealed to panelist Barbara Corcoran (and anyone else who will listen) his youth-retailing secret: the use of foot cream on his face. And it's why Cuban's Twitter account has recently been loaded with references to"Barbara'' and "Daymond'' – so much so that a Mavs follower might've been temporarily confused about whether his favorite team just signed two free agents named "Barbara'' and "Daymond.''
"Shark Tank'' is on ABC. The Kimmel show is on ABC. Synergy. Cross-promotion. And sure, self-promotion.
But then came what is being written about even on usually cynical entertainment websites as the "surprise'': An appearance from Sheen, who came bouncing onto the stage in what was supposed to be a "shocker.''
What was Sheen doing there? How did he get past security? Did you see the "surprised'' and "shocked'' look on Kimmel's face when Charlie planted that kiss on him?
Of course, none of this is an unplanned surprise, and as Sheen's loony behavior/performance grinds on, it's all becoming less shocking, too.
Cuban was in the process of telling Kimmel how highly he regards Sheen, mentioning the actor's fine body of work (including "Platoon'' and "Wall Street'') when Charlie made his appearance, toting with him a shopping bag full of t-shirts designed to promote ... promotion. The goodie bag, Sheen said, was left behind by Cuban when the owner visited Sheen's home earlier in the day. It was full of shirts referencing Sheen's newly coined catchphrases, including "Tiger Blood'' and "Duh, Winning.'' Sheen didn't stay on set long.
After a few psuedo-zany stunts and comments, Sheen said, "I can't stay ... sorry," and the ABC audience groaned on cue. "I have a show to write, dammit!"
Ah yes, a show! Sheen's goal here: Remind the world about his webcasts and the April 2 launch of his 20-date "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option Show.'' Cuban's goal in sharing the stage with him in this perfectly timed "accident'': My understanding is that Cuban's HDNet company has collected some footage of Sheen (and will probably do the same during the tour) in anticipation of the two men doing some sort of project together.
But Sheen is rumored to be involved in a possible late-night show for Fox, too, which explains why the last item he pulled from the shopping bag and handed to Kimmel was a coffee mug adorned with a picture of fox.
"I'll let you figure it out, my man," Sheen told Kimmel, who again pretended to not be in on the joke.
And then Charlie darted off, maybe to play with his Goddesses or to "write'' or to nurture his insanity or else just find new ways to fake it.
And Cuban? In exploring every vein, he's involved with Sheen on ABC to mention a show that might end up on Fox or might end up on HDNet or might end up going no further than the "Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option Show,'' in which even the moniker's irreverence seems more and more act of fake rebellion and a crafty campaign to get financial retribution (or reinstatement) from the "Two And A Half Men'' sitcom that dumped him.
But right now, acting zany is part of the promotion and part of the exploration. So much so that Cuban wants to be in on the crazy.
"You have a very weird life, you really do,'' Kimmel told Cuban.
"It's crazy, crazy,'' Cuban replied.
But not clinically crazy. Just crazy enough for male TV stars to exchange a staged kiss, just crazy enough to announce that you put foot cream on your face, just crazy to discover how much money there is in The Business of Crazy. That's what's being investigated here. From head to toe.
Oh, and coincidentally, I just received a promotional email from the good people at the AAC that reads exactly like this:
DONUT 12: "Charlie Sheen's Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show" is coming for you 8pm Wednesday, April 27th at American Airlines Center.
What a surprise!