Friday Donuts: A Young Nowitzki On The Slopes

Friday Morning Mavs Donuts: Who wins the autographed Dirk card? ... What Shaq-to-TNT means, in short ... The paparazzi chasing Kidd and Chandler at Mr. Chow's? ... Home movies of when he was The UberBoy. ... Nellie to Minny? ... The Going-Overseas Game and why I ain't gonna play it ... Donuts!

DONUT 1: How long is the Going-Overseas list now?


No, I'm not talking about the very, very short list of guys who have ink on contracts and underwear in suitcases.

I'm talking about the very, very long list of guys purported to be "willing to consider it.''

I'm calling BS on all of 'em and more than that, I'm calling for a ceiling on empty stories about the attention hogs who are making such announcements.

As the boss of, what would you have me do? Contact 15 Mavs ... ask them "Would you consider it?'' ... and then write 15 "breaking'' stories? Because that, in essence, is what we're being fed right now.

No disrespect to anyone involved, but my brothers at ESPN have already reported that JJ Barea says he "has a Plan B in Spain ... (but) my goal is to play in the NBA next season."

And then, a few days later, ESPN reported the same story AGAIN -- no change, just reiterating that JJB is FRIGGIN' SERIOUS.

But no. No he's not. Nor is Durant or Kobe or Amare or most anybody else of consequence.

"Serious about thinking about maybe going to Europe'' isn't serious because a player says it. It isn't even serious when it gets reported ... and it isn't twice as serious when it gets reported twice.

It's filler.

I suppose I could call Shawn Marion so he could say "maybe'' and then Hoopshype would pick up my "exclusive'' and we'd get hits. I suppose I could call Jason Kidd and he'd say "probably not'' and then Associated Press would pick up my "breaking news story'' and I'd give myself a raise.

But who are we kidding here? All the "maybes'' amount to nothing. All the stories amount to nothing.

"Thinking about thinking about going'' isn't a "breaking story.'' "Thinking about things'' -- especially when its all the NBA players have to do right now -- is no more newsworthy than breathing.


DONUT 2: So the T'Wolves are interested in Maui resident Don Nelson as their head coach? Why would Nellie leave island for Minnesota, come out of retirement with his legacy as solid as it is, take the toll at age 71?

I've seen some go into great detail about him being intrigued by working with Rubio or how much he likes Love's game or somesuch.

But that's not it.

I know my Uncle Nellie. I know what motivates him.

If the salary is high and the expectations are low, Nellie is interested. Period.

DONUT 3: Shaq to TNT? No big coup. After all ESPN has the dulcet tones, deep insights and bow-tiedness of Bruce Bowen.

DONUT 4: Hey, are you gearing up to get involved in the North Texas $100,000 Smile Giveaway? You might want to get on that by going to my family dentist ...! Please check out Dr. B and his staff. They've been friends and supporters all the way back to the Fish For Lunch days. And they truly are the best in the field of family dentistry.

DONUT 5: Home movies: A young Dirk Nowitzki bundles up and takes to the ski slopes:

Smooth, kid. Smooth.

DONUT 6: So when Seth Meyers at the ESPYs was making jokes about the Mavs players being unable to communicate with Mark Cuban ... and then Tony Cubes and all the guys win their trophies and actually (gasp!) communicate ... was in a NBA violation? A brewing fine?


A league spokesman is now saying that all involved got clearance that allowed them to actually say "hi'' to each other and to give each other "dap.''

Ridiculous. But these are the locked-out times we live in.

DONUT 7: Have you checked out the Mavs Store? Which will it be? 'YES. WE. DID'? 'Take That Championship Wit Chew'? Or 'The UberMan'? Oh, and have you noticed the radio-show-related Easter Egg in our mall yet?

DONUT 8: The NBA has laid off 114 employees. The NBA says the layoffs are not due to the labor dispute.

Which of course means that The Person In Charge Of Lying About The Reason For The Layoffs has not been laid off.

DONUT 9: Want MORE Mavs? Sign on up! It's about a dime-a-day for the very best in Mavs coverage from And yes, we keep it rolling all summer long ... You won't get 'em covered like you get 'em covered here! Go Mavs and Go Premium!

DONUT 10: Yes, we make for happy readers. Meet Brendan F:

Dear Fish – I just wanted to say thanks for your amazing coverage of the Mavs this year. It's refreshing to get opinions built from an analytical view point. Ones that are actually rooted in basketball and not just ratings or flashy headlines.

I'm sure you'll be attacking the new CBA and all of our FA's. Then the conversation will turn to – can the Mavs get Dwight Howard, CP3 or D. Williams. However, whenever the time comes, please take a hard look at a possible move for none other than aging superstar Steve Nash. He's a veteran, team-first player in the last year of his contract. If JJB gets PAID (and I feel that he's earned it), we'll have a need for a backup PG. Who better than Nash? Might be wishful thinking, but you never know!


Keep up the phenomenal work. Feel like I'm MAKING money off this for just a dime a day. - Brendan F.

DONUT 11: Which reminds me: Being a Premium Subscriber comes with certain privileges. Like, once in awhile Dirk Nowitzki signs a Panini trading card for me to give to you.

So ... Joel L - 'MuskieDude' - you are a Premium Mavs Fan. So you win!

DONUT 12: I love that Kidd and Chandler are out to dinner together. (Bonding!) I love that it's Kidd who told us all about this video. (Not shy!) But most of all, I love the interviewer trying to be "cool.''

Good job. Babies.

Pop into The Mavs Store! The 'TAKE THAT CHAMPIONSHIP WIT CHEW!' shirt is hot!

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