Donuts: Beating Heat Oh-So-Simple. Right?
DONUT 1: When Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban talks money, we should probably listen.
DONUT 2: Ron Artest is a) changing his name, b), going to England to play and c) using his jersey number to influence the world.
No. No. No.
I rarely find time to take Artest seriously (especially when he tries to guard Dirk). But over the weekend came word that a) Ron isn't able to officially change his name to Metta World Peace because he has too many outstanding traffic warrants, b) will actually decide about joining the Cheshire Jets of the Britain Basketball League after Nov. 22, and c) wants to alter his jersey number from 15 to 70 because it's like something to do with the universe," Artest tells Yahoo. "Everything kind of repeats itself. The universe is one. It's the same thing. Healthy minds, just keeping the kids positive."
Healthy minds, indeed.
DONUT 3: The serious point to me made here: This side of Deron Williams, Ron Artest is the most publicized of the NBA players who is "going to play overseas.''
And now that set-in-stone decision is unset and unstoned ... with "after Nov. 22'' as some seemingly random deadline ... all of it making about as much sense as "Metta World Peace.''
What is Artest doing for certain? "Dancing With The Stars.'' So he's not beating the country or the world; he's just trying to beat Nancy Grace and Rikki Lake.
DONUT 4: Thursday, Sept. 8. DB.com Get-Together at Bonnie Ruth's, "Frisco's Neighborhood Bar.'' Lebanon and The Tollway for the NFL opener. Be Ready. Be There.
DONUT 5: Can you blame the good citizens of Oklahoma for dreaming that local guy Blake Griffin might someday escape the Clippers and come home? The world probably doesn't work that simply, but Griffin is certainly being politely open when asked about the notion.
DONUT 6: Clipper Darrell is staging a lockout sleep-in. How long before Donald T. Sterling tries to screw him on his rent?
DONUT 7: Dwight Howard, in Tokyo, dunking on a giraffe.
Because a stuffed Shawn Bradley was unavailable.
DONUT 8: Avery Johnson is going to Russia to play an exhibition against Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov. This might be a fun way for us to waste some time during the lockout. Cuban vs. Carlisle, one-on-one, anybody?
DONUT 9: Three ways to get all Mavvy:
*Come join us on Twitter!
* Any Friend of the Mavs on Facebook is a DB.com Friend of Fish.
* Dress like a champion! The Mavs Jason Kidd BBIQ is in! Show off your BBIQ!
DONUT 10: Jorge Sierra of Hoopshype relays the latest on Corey Brewer, subject of a report that two Spanish teams were chasing him. Jorge says, "Valencia had some interest in Corey Brewer. No deal is going to happen, though, according to a source.''
DONUT 11: Ex-Mav swingman Marquis Daniels is asked via Twitter, "What celebrity would you like to play Twister with?''
Queezy answers: "Anne Frank lmao''
Is he shooting for a Helen Keller joke there?
DONUT 12: Mark Cuban also tells CNN's Piers Morgan, "After Game 3 of the Miami series, our guys said, 'They aren't making any adjustments. We got 'em.'"
I have a feeling the truth is slightly more complex than that, and that Carlisle would tell you so. But Tony Cubes is trying to frame the Mavs' title with easy-to-consume soundbites and that's a damn good one.