Insane Sex Lawsuit? Manziel, Meet The Mavs
You are by now aware of the bat-crap crazy lawsuit filed against Texas A&M product Johnny Manziel, the rookie quarterback for the Cleveland Browns.
It's basically one big penis joke ... and sounded vaguely familiar as soon as we heard of it.
Because in 2010, a variation of the same "joke'' was played on Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and star Dirk Nowitzki.
As we noted at the time:
There is an inmate in Kentucky named Jonathan Lee Riches. He is semi-famous for his frivolous lawsuits against famous people. Riches' latest "masterpiece'' is sporty. He attempts to take down Carmelo Anthony, Nolan Ryan, Barry Bonds, Jerry Buss, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Kate Moss and Mark Cuban.
*Of then-Nuggets star Carmelo Anthony, Riches said the two men are involved in a romantic relationship … That Anthony "gave me an STD in 2001.'' … That he "used stolen credit cards to get him GNC vitamins and enemas to flush out his toxins.'' … That Anthony "worked as a undercover narcotic cop in Baltimore and was snitchin.'' … And that "Carmelo Anthony cheated on his wife LaLa with Dwyane Wade's ex-wife who gave Anthony fellatio in I-95 traffic.''
In summary of his feelings for Carmelo, Riches said, "Anthony melt my Popsicle.''
*Riches asserted that "Nolan Ryan threw 100 mph fastballs at my head and he and Robin Ventura beat me up at the Church of Jesus Christ.''
Riches opened his lawsuit paperwork by identifying himself as "Jonathan Lee Riches, d/b/a Bernie Madoff.''
*Riches claimed to possess photos of athletes doing coke off Kate Moss' lap, engaging in homosexual relations and shooting steroids into each other at Barry Bonds' house.
*He wrote: "Jerry Buss accused me of raping him and Kobe Bryant in Boulder at JonBenet Ramsey's house,'' Riches claimed, adding, "Jerry Buss sold me Jeannie Buss on eBay and I was promised a Lakers janitor job when I get out of prison for less than minimum wage.''
And then there was Riches' attempt to link himself with Dirk and Cuban.
Riches wrote, "Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials.''
Also, it was Riches' odd assertion that "Mark Cuban stole my credit cards and tried to buy the Texas Rangers with my money … Mark Cuban assaulted me serving ice cream at Dairy Queen.''
After we get done chuckling, we should probably ponder whether there might be a way to protect celebrities from this sort of foolishness; headlines being what they are, there is a certain segment of the population that likely believes Manziel really is facing a problem, or that Cuban once did.
Or we can just keep chuckling, as Cuban did on Twitter back in 2010 when he responded to Riches' Dairy Queen charge:
"He stole my Blizzard,'' Cuban said. "I had no choice but to KHTFO (knock him the F out).''
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