Bills Festivus: Airing of Grievances

Before sitting down to Festivus dinner and challenging guests to feats of strength, it's important to air your grievances. It's another year without playoffs for the Bills and I've got a problem with that. Now you're going to hear about it.

Happy Festivus Bills fans!

If you're not familar with Festivus, it's a holiday that came from the television show SeinfeldRead up on that link before reading further if you aren't familar with Festivus.

My focus today is just on one aspect of Festivus: The airing of grievances. 

It's time for me to express my disappointment with the Bills. I'll also throw in certain Bills fans. In the famous words of Frank Costanza, "I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!"

Doug MarroneStop punting in 4th and short scenarios near midfield! Your latest gaffe eliminated any chance of the Bills making the playoffs. You actually faced a 3rd and 1 from your own 46 with over eight minutes remaining in the game, down two. Kyle Orton could trip over his own feet and fall forward one yard. Convert that first down and I'm sure the Bills offense could have gotten the team into field goal range.

While we're at it, stop thinking of yourself as some kind of offensive line guru. Chris Williams was your choice for starting left guard this season? Williams doesn't even start at left guard when his family plays backyard football. Besides the game where Williams was injured, you kept Kraig Urbik out of the lineup until Week 8. He was your best guard last year and guess what? He's been your best guard this year too. The guard spot is troublesome. Talk to your bosses and tell them to invest in a quality guard in free agency. 

Remember Doug, “Don’t confuse effort with results.”

Nathaniel Hackett: Listen, I get it. You’ve had to work with E.J. Manuel, Thad Lewis, Jeff Tuel and Kyle Orton. Heck, the team actually brought in Matt Leinart last year and Jordan Palmer this season in the preseason. That’s like asking a surgeon to perform an operation with a toy doctor’s kit.

That said, you’re not in Syracuse anymore. This is the NFL and if you don’t produce, you’re replaced. Too many times this season I’ve watched a game and said, “That’s your play call?!” If I went into detail, we’d be here until next Festivus. Simply put, after the Feats of Strength, you need to go.

P.S. You can call run plays that aren’t right up the middle.

Aaron Williams: Get a new helmet! You lead the league in, “Oh look, there’s a helmet rolling around the field.” Seriously, the last thing we want is for you to suffer a head or neck injury. Perhaps keeping your helmet loose is a comfort issue, but you need to find a better solution.

Jerry Hughes: Jerry, I’m one of your biggest fans. I actually played a part in designing a Hughesamania shirt. Now that you know I’m a fan, stop with the penalties! Among 4-3 defensive ends, only Michael Bennett has been called for more. I understand the importance of getting a good jump off the line, but I also understand the importance of giving up five yards on a consistent basis. As for your personal fouls, I don’t have any issues there.  A referee flagged you for celebrating with your own teammate and another time for telling the referees they made a bad call (and it was a bad call).

Bills Fans Saying the Team Gave Up Too Much for Sammy Watkins: Be quiet. Watkins has been terrific. He’s 75 yards away from having 1,000 yards receiving on the season. Every single one of you would have signed up for that before the start of the season.

But we could have had Odell Beckham Jr. or Mike Evans

I’ve actually heard that complaint numerous times. We couldn’t have had Evans if Buffalo had stayed at nine. Evans was taken seventh overall. Evans fit what the Bills were looking for (a WR who was open, even when he wasn’t), but Watkins was seen as the best receiver prospect in the entire draft. If you look at their stats now, Evans has more yards and touchdowns, but look at the train wreck that is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They’re one of the worst teams in the league and playing from behind most of the time. No wonder Evans has more yards/touchdowns.

OBJ? He’s benefitting from playing with a quality quarterback in Eli Manning. Sure, Manning isn’t a top notch quarterback, but he’s much better than Manuel/Orton. OBJ didn’t really fit what the Bills were looking for either. At 5’11”, OBJ didn’t match up with what the type of receiver the Bills wanted.

As for giving up too much, let’s wait and see what Cleveland gets with those picks. Right now, they have Justin Gilbert to show for their first round pick. He had an awful rookie season. Buffalo’s first round pick in 2015 will be towards the middle of the pack and there won’t be any superstars, like Watkins, available in the middle of the 2015 draft.

Buffalo Bills Organization: Get it together! As a 30 year old, the Bills haven’t made the playoffs at all in the second half of my life. That’s pretty depressing.

You have one of the best defenses in the league and the offense is holding the team back. Hire a quality offensive coordinator in the offseason, upgrade your offensive line, and at least call around to see if any quality quarterbacks can be had for the right price. That last one is unlikely, but if the offensive line gets fixed, the Bills could have a successful run first-offense. That’s what this team needs based on its current roster. Asking Orton, Manuel or another signal caller to throw often is a recipe for disaster.  

In 2015, the playoffs are an absolute must. Hovering around .500 is no longer acceptable.

Some of the things said above were in jest, but it feels terrific to vent. Bring on the Festivus dinner and Feats of Strength.

BillsMafia, want to vent? Join our forums and air your grievances with the Bills.


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