(Andrew Weber/USA TODAY Sports)

The Buffalo Bills Night Before Christmas

A Buffalo Bills spin on the Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through One Bills Drive,

Not a creature was stirring, their playoff hopes weren’t alive.

The jerseys were hung in the lockers with care,

In hopes that Sunday’s Bills/Cowboys game soon would be there.


Rex Ryan was nestled all snug in his bed,

While visions of sacking Kellen Moore danced in his head.

And Greg Roman in his jogging suit was taking a nap,

Tyrod Taylor had made him forget all about Kaep.


When out on the field there arose such a clatter,

They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.

Away to the window they flew like a flash,

Mario Williams was yelling, “Our defense is trash!”


The practice field was green, there was no snow

This time of year it’s usually 20 below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and men dressed as eight massive reindeer.


With a QB so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be Tyrod dressed as St. Nick.

More rapid than buffalos his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!


"Now Cordy! Now, Wood! Now, Richie and Mills!

On, Miller! On, O’Leary! On Felton and Karlos!

To the back of the end zone! Snap the ball at my call!

Now block away! Block away! Block away all!"


The man on the outside, boy could he fly,

With the ball approaching Sammy Watkins took to the sky.

So up off the field he flew,

He reached up and the ball stuck to his gloves like glue.


And then, came a yell from a ball boy who was a fan,

Sammy Watkins, you are the man.”

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down in the end zone came Watkins with a bound.


He was dressed in his practice gear, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with mud and soot.

He took the ball and flung it over his back,

His teammates surrounded him like a wolfpack.


Rex Ryan’s eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the stubble on his chin was as white as snow.


The practice defenders gritted their teeth,

And the smoke from their ears encircled their heads like a wreath.

Rex Ryan was happy and out stuck his belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!


He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.


He spoke many words to his coaches, but then went back to his work,

He wanted to beat the Cowboys, it’d be a nice perk.

And placing one hand up in the air,

The players all stopped with care.


The practice was over, the refs blew a whistle,

And away the Bills flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"


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