Peyton Manning is a man of many talents.
He's been the pitchman for roughly 25,000 products since entering the NFL, he's hosted Saturday Night Live, he's served as consultant for the Miami Dolphins, and he used to play quarterback or something.
It's time to add award show host to the list, because Manning has been tabbed to host the ESPN's 25th ESPY Awards on July 12, according to an official release by the network.
"The ESPYs have been a part of my life during my entire career—I can still remember attending my very first show back in 1998 before my rookie season in the NFL," Manning said in the release.
Thinking ahead to the show, one can just about predict most of the bits ESPN will badger Manning to use throughout the broadcast. Here's a definitive list of things you can expect to see:
2. Peyton taking jabs at Eli.
3. The chicken parm jingle.
4. The Manning-Brady rivalry.
5. Papa John's.
Have we heard these jokes every day for the last decade or so? Yes. Will ESPN opt for a more creative setlist of jokes? Absolutely not, because they're the same network that airs First Take every morning.
Personally, I'd like to see a few jokes about shattering Tom Brady's touchdown record, winning a Super Bowl despite having the arm of a calcium-deficient Chad Pennington, and fooling 11 Dallas Cowboys and the CBS cameramen on a naked bootleg, but I have a feeling those won't make it past dress rehearsal. Either way, it should be worth tuning in to see the Sheriff.