Philadelphia Eagles owner Jeff Lurie would have to be crazy to even think about letting Terrell Owens take the field against the Patriots in Super Bowl XXXIV. Five weeks ago a steel plate with four screws were inserted in the wide receivers ankle and now you're considering letting him go against the likes of Rodney Harrison?
I know Owens is giving it a tough sale, but after listening to the doctor who inserted the plate refuse to release him, and the fact that he's barely made it past the treadmill this week, Lurie's got to ask himself if it's really worth risking league's best receiver on a game that he's going to lose anyway.
Special Freddy Mitchell
Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, who blatantly told reporters two weeks ago he was "a special player" and then proceeded to thank his hands for "being so great", is making the most of his fifteen minutes of fame in Terrell Owens' absence.
In an ESPN television interview with Dan Patrick, Mitchell claimed ignorance when asked to name the players in the Patriots secondary, only able to conjure up the numbers of a few New England linebackers along with the name Rodney Harrison, adding "I've got something for you Harrison, when I meet you".
"That's pretty funny for a guy that doesn't even start unless someone goes down," Harrison shot back. "What was he, a former first round pick that still hasn't broken into the starting lineup? That really means a lot coming from him."
Sign of the Times
Four large purple billboards along a street in Madison, Wisconsin read the following –
1. Squirting an Official With a Water Bottle $25,000
2. Ramming a Meter Maid $1,200 and Probation
3. Mooning Pack Fans $10,000
4. Zero Rings for Randy Moss - PRICELESS
What's priceless is the fact that someone actually shelled out a reported $12,000 for the display.
Like I've always said, you've got to love Packer fans.
"I guess I'm not going to Disney World!"
According to reports in USA Today, the popular slogan, which features an on-field athlete praising the accolades of Disney World, has been shelved for Super Bowl XXXIX.
Disney officials claim that their "You've just won the Super Bowl, what's next?" campaign does not fit in with their current marketing onslaught of Disneyland's 50th Anniversary celebration or their "Magic Your Way" plan, offering more flexible prices and vacation plans for consumers.
No word yet on whether the commercial, which ran for the past nineteen-years, will be revived for the 2006 Super Bowl, which, coincidentally, is scheduled to be broadcast by Disney media conglomerate ABC.
More Moss - No Moss
Cardinals head coach Dennis Green, who spent the better part of three-years coaching Randy Moss in Minnesota, probably knows the troubled wide receiver better than anybody. With that in mind, it's not surprising that Arizona is backing out of the race to land the superstar should the Vikings look to deal him this off-season.
"We wouldn't be interested," Green said adamantly. "We already have Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald."
Defense attorney Tim Jansen has a perfectly good explanation why his client, Baltimore Ravens cornerback Corey Fuller, is facing weapons and gambling charges, stemming from a police raid on his Tallahassee, Fl. home last June.
"The evidence is going to show the reason we're here is not what Mr. Fuller did, but who Mr. Fuller is," Jansen told jurors. He went on to further explain that his client's status as a "local celebrity" led to the state of Maryland's decision to file charges.
Evidently, as long as you're not a celebrity, it's perfectly acceptable to hover over an illegal high-stakes poker game with a loaded gun and several thousands of dollars in the pot.
In a related story, Raven running back Jamall Lewis, sentenced to four months in prison on drug-related charges, will begin his sentence on Feb. 4th, which should allow him the opportunity to attend the teams' mini camps and training camp.
Like I've always said, you've got to love lawyers.
Please put down the pipe
Los Lonely Boys, a Texas based rock band scheduled to play a league-organized concert the night before the big game, have been fired according to NFL sources. It appears that the league, still reeling from last year's Janet Jackson's nipple fiasco, had second thoughts after the group's drummer was arrested for marijuana possession. Leave it to a drummer with portable bong to blow the biggest gig of the band's entire career.
Quote(s) of the day
"I put him down at 33." – St. Louis Rams offensive tackle Kyle Turley, when asked where he would rank Rams coach Mike Martz among the thirty-two NFL head coaches.
"When we played the Patriots last year, Brian Westbrook fumbled a punt and we were all down there scrambling for it. Mike Vrabel had my testicles in his hand, and he was squeezing them. Where the football ends up depends on who has the strongest will or strongest hands. Guys reach inside the face mask to gouge your eyes. But the biggest thing is the grabbing of the testicles. It is crazy." – Philadelphia Eagles linebacker Ike Reese describing what goes on at the bottom of a pile when players are fighting for a fumble.
"People say it's a pain but it's a welcome pain. My wife takes care of it. She's like in Willy Wonka, an Oompa Loompa - the little orange people. Without them, they wouldn't have Willie Wonka's chocolate." – New England Patriots punter Josh Miller in describing his wife's duties of handling ticket requests from friends and family for the Super Bowl.
Like I've always said, you've got to love punters.
Schon can be reached at Schon@prostarmediagroup.net
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Schon: Rumors, Rants & Raves 1/29/05
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