You're not supposed to say anything about The Team. Remember? Nor their Dome of Thundering Hooves, or their famous quarterback with the famous name who famously calls his own plays. Don't say a word.
After all, something could always happen to them. Remember last week, when they finally lost a game? To a team that we've already beaten? Remember how their famous quarterback kept dancing around like a woman from Rent, and how he was slapped around like a woman who owes some rent? Remember?
Hey, that New England team is looking pretty good, isn't it? Maybe they can beat them! Don't the Pats own that other team come playoff time? Tom Brady has never lost in the playoffs; maybe he could do our dirty work and then we could beat him!
And there's always Cincy. They kept the game pretty close a few weeks ago, didn't they? I know it was at home, and I know they lost, but when that Cincy offense gets rolling… anything can happen!
Come on, we won't have to play them. Right? Please, tell me we won't have to play them. Not there, not in the playoffs, not with rookies in the secondary, not with this quarterback matchup.
Wait, am I breaking a rule by talking about them? Sorry. We'll talk about something else.
We can clinch the division this week. That's good. We can clinch a bye next week. Even better.
Hey, a bye! Maybe that's what we need! What's that? The team about whom we do not speak gets a bye too? And there's no way we could ask them to play here? Not even for a little bit? Like a quarter or so?
No matter, there's always injury. If we get the second seed, injuries have plenty of time to run their course. Maybe Mr. Record Setter over there will get thrown to the turf one too many times. Or maybe the Bradlee Van_Pelt era will begin over here with a bang. Maybe Marvin Harrison can run a clean little route right into oncoming traffic, maybe on the interstate.
Oops! Did I mention one of them by name? I'm sorry, we'll talk about something else. Um, how about those Chargers? They could still win the West, you know. We've gotta look out for those Chargers. Good team, that. You know who they beat last week?
Some team with hooves, I think. Some team that has drawing comparison to another team with hooves, the 1998 Denver Broncos, if I'm not mistaken. Yep, that good ol' team with Elway, Sharpe, TD, Atwater, Eddie Mac, Schlereth, Neil Smith, Alex Gibbs, and a seven-years-younger Rod Smith and a seven-years-younger Jason Elam. In other words, a team better than the 2005 Broncos in nearly every facet of the game.
Would we want to play the 1998 Broncos right now? In the playoffs? In their hometown?
Oh wait, I guess their hometown would be our hometown. Now I'm confused.
Good. Maybe now I can stop thinking about those blasted Indianapolis Colts.