Sitting there sucking down the usual Coors Light, two things crossed my mind – (and if you've ever seen the "Girls of BenchWarmers," you know exactly what I'm talking about), but since this is a sports column I'll limit my angle to one simple question…
Why is it so easy to hate the Los Angeles Lakers?
Maybe it's the smugness of Kobe Bryant – the whole licking and pursing his lips thing combined with that "I'm really focusing don't bother me now" stare that even Chris Rock was unable to crack. Or maybe it's the fact he tossed teammate Shaquille O'Neal under the bus faster than a Tijuana cab ride when questioned by Vail Police during his motel liaison with a young blonde in Eagle, Co.
Toss in head coach Phil Jackson who, when he's not actively trying to intimidate the officials during his post game press conference is busy tapping into team owner Jerry Buss's daughter Jeannie, who happens to be 26-years his junior.
As a father of two daughters this sits about as well as Aunt Edna's pound cake.
If you're still looking for a reason here's a little icing on the cake - the pickup of Ron Artest, (Dennis Rodman-Lite, minus the ridiculous hair). Artest, who's nearly reached double-digit sales of his new rap CD, was single-handedly responsible for one of the most epic brawls in NBA history, complete with thrown beer, excessive F-bombs a sucker punch to an innocent fan. His antics have even carried into the 2010 NBA Finals when he attempted to yank down the shorts of Paul Pierce while jockeying for position prior to the opening tipoff?
(I've got to admit though it was pretty funny - in a Globetrotters type of way)
Not meaning to sound completely one-sided (and on the strong advice of my attorney, my editor, my ex-wife, my daughters, my mother and the dude that signs my paycheck) I've included three reasons you may NOT want to hate the Lakers.
· Kobe Bryant is the single most exciting, productive and talented player in the NBA since Michael Jordan. He's a four-time NBA Champion, appearing in seven NBA Finals, a 12 time NBA All Star, 3-time NBA All Star MVP, 12-time All NBA selection, 10-time All-Defensive selection, an NBA All-Rookie selection and winner of the NBA Slam Dunk Contest in only his second season. His current compilation of NBA records is longer than Jay-Zee's personal groupie backstage list.
· Phillip Douglas Jackson, the Zen Master, is the most successful coach in NBA history, winning 10 NBA Championships,he's an author of five best selling books, has never had a loosing record as a head coach, still has a full head of hair for someone nearing 65-years old and (did I mention this earlier?) found enough hootzpa to snag Executive Vice President of Business Operations, Jerry Buss's 39-year old daughter, who coincidentially has posed naked for two different magazines.
· Ron Artest… (this really took some research) actually applied for a job at Circuit City as a rookie with the Chicago Bulls in order to obtain the employee discount,. Once attended team practice with the Indiana Pacers in his bathrobe and in 2008 appeared in a video promoting companion animal spaying and neutering for PETA entitled "Have the balls to spay or neuter your dog.
BTW – If anyone has copies or links to these pictures of Jeannie Buss I'm willing to trade a slightly used Vlade Divac "How to Chain-Smoke and Flop Like A Pro" paperback edition if you're interested.
Did anyhone else notice the chants of Celtic fans – "Ugly Sister" directed toward Lakers forward Lamar Odom?
Now that's cold…
Michael John Schon has covered the National Football League and the Denver Broncos for the past twelve-years. As a member of the Pro Football Writers Association he has published and syndicated columns to both newspapers and magazines throughout the United States and Canada. His syndicated radio broadcast: "Schon Live" airs weekly on various radio and Internet stations around the country. You can follow all of Schon's updates on Twitter - Facebook or drop him an email at Michael John Schon
Broncos Update Community Forums