Tales from a Dorkbook

Pre-game, in-game, and post-game scribbles from a real live dork! Yep, I'm just scribblin' away in my scribblebook. Also, I hate the word "scribble".

Browns-Dolphins: You and I know that there's only one analysis of this game that matters: The stream-of-consciousness ramblings of a technoid who created a Browns website in his converted dining room in the mid-90s, and who is consuming various liquids while watching the game on TV and counting on real sportswriters he employs to compensate for his ill-advised yammering. That. You're here, so it must be true. Let's roll.

  • 3:57 PM: BROWNS WIN! Final Score... BROWNS 13, DOLPHINS 10. I knew it all along. Never worried. Yep.

  • 3:53 PM: Looks like Bowens batted down that pass that Mike Adams picked and ran back to the two as the Browns defense continually moved closer to scoring with each interception, as if they realized they would have to score themselves. So very, very clutch on the part of the defense, justifying Mangini's decision to try to play a safe, conservative gameplan. Sometimes it works. It worked today. Congratulations to the Browns defense, and a defensive secondary that was really criticized just a few weeks ago.

  • 3:52 PM: TV showing a graphic showing that Chad Henne has thrown six picks in the fourth quarter. He had one terrific game last week, and everyone forgot what had gotten him replaced in the first place.

  • 3:48 PM: Delhomme not doing well, however, with the Dolphins defense fired up and active late in this game. He takes a sack and nearly throws a pick to Carroll while aiming for Watson. Browns are forced to punt.

  • 3:43 PM: Delhomme shows his veteran savvy as he quick-snaps a ball at the 26 to catch the Dolphins with 12 men on the field. Well done.

  • 3:38 PM: Browns defenders stepping up. David Bowens bats down a Henne pass to create a third-and-eight. And then Elam breaks up the third down pass. Browns defense hanging in there, and I'm happy to say that my fourth-quarter soon fears appear misguided (knocks on wood).

  • 3:34 PM: Watson's outstanding day has hit some important milestones. Ten catches now, 100 yards.

  • 3:33 PM: Commercial time. In all honesty, the ability to pause and then re-start robots destroying your home doesn't seem all that great.

  • 3:28 PM: T.J. Ward has been somewhat quiet today - if I was the Dolphins I'd avoid him as well - but he makes a key play as the Dolphins return to offense, trapping Ronnie Brown for a loss of two. Shaun Rogers is also having a great day, and trips up Henne as he was running with some open field ahead. Dolphins go three-and-out.

  • 3:24 PM: Browns go three and out after the Dolphins touchdown drive. Fins D very active and quick on the last three plays and disrupted the Browns very well. Browns were back on their heels. Now we see if the Browns defense can return the favor.

  • 3:20 PM: Josh Cribbs continues to be ineffective as a return man following his injury. That excitement and anticipation that we all had just last year is missing in 2010. Here's hoping it's a one-year thing.

  • 3:18 PM: Dolphins tie it up 10-10 on a Henne to Fasano pass. My nervousness about a fourth quarter defensive problem for the Browns again in Florida seems to be strangely accurate rather than typically mush-brained. Let's hope I'm wrong and the Dolphins very effective 80-yard drive turns out to be a fluke.

  • 3:13 PM: Let's hope we're not seeing another defensive fourth quarter defensive swoon while playing in Florida. The Dolphins offense has push down to the Browns 27 as the clock ticks down close to 12 minutes.

  • 3:03 PM: Sudden signs of life in the Browns passing game. Delhomme sees Massaquoi matched up against a linebacker and hits him for 37 yard line. Then fifteen more to Watson. Then a Fins DB stumbles and Massaquoi gets another 33. Where did this come from?

  • 3:00 PM: At this point in the game, I can't comment on Joe Haden any more. My mouth is just sort of hanging open in happy surprise. Incredible game.

  • 2:54 PM: LOL. Chad Henne trying to burn Joe Haden on a long pass. Someone needs to let Henning know that Haden isn't a typical rookie corner. On second thought, wait until after the game to impart that.

  • 2:51 PM: A sack of Delhomme hurts the Browns as it pushes the ball out to the 29. Dawson hooked the kick and misses a 47 yard field goal.

  • 2:47 PM: You want something done, throw it to Watson. The Browns add 25% to their offensive yardage total thanks to a completion to the Watson. Several plays later, Delhomme hits Watson again for 22 yards. That takes it to more than half, as Watson has 73 yards and the rest of the offense 64. I'm going to move his gameball in front of Haden's now.

  • 2:40 PM: Browns return to the field with the ball in the second half. They run, they run, they pass, they punt. Three and out. Somewhere, John Cooper is smiling.

  • 2:36 PM: The Browns get the ball first in the second half. We'll see if the playcalling tries to open things up a little. I doubt it... Browns seem to be interested mostly in playing it safe and letting their defense keep them close.

  • 2:21 PM: We got to halftime tied after am improbable 60-yard field goal knots it up. The Browns offense simply hasn't been able to get on track against the Dolphins fierce defense, which does not bode well for future games against the Ravens and Steelers. Just 79 yards in the first half. That isn't going to get it done. Why not Seneca Wallace? Shake it up a bit.

  • 2:17 PM: Great stand by the Browns so far. The sack by Rogers followed by an offensive penalty on Miami pushes them back to the Browns 46 with 14 seconds left in the half.

  • 2:14 PM: Here we go again. For the 10th straight week, or so it seems, the Browns defense is allowing a quick drive prior to halftime. In a flash, the Dolphins are at the Browns 29. Shaun Rogers steps up, though, sacking ineffective QB Chad Henne to push the line of scrimmage back to the 36.

  • 2:09 PM: Two near-passing touchdowns from Delhomme on the Browns last series. A throw across the field to Chansi Stuckey is a little high and a throw to Massaquoi is a little bit behind him. In Delhomme's defense, Miami's defense is quick and good at hassling aging QBs.

  • 2:03 PM: Ben Watson to the rescue again. Jake Delhomme hits Watson on the third and seven to give the Browns a first down inside the Dolphins 20. I've got a gameball over here saved for him post-game.

  • 1:54 PM: Browns offense can't get much from the good field position, but the Browns punt is outstanding. Hodges bounces it inside the ten, and Mike Adams saves it out to Sabby Piscitelli to pin the Dolphins at the one. Then the Browns defense immediately gives up a 23-yard pass to Davone Bess. Fortunately, Bess gets an unsportsmanlike conduct foul and the Dolphins wind up at the 12. But they're still out of the hole.

  • 1:52 PM: The Browns finally get into Miami territory after a 10 yard run by Peyton Hillis. It's a start.

  • 1:48 PM: Joe Haden breaks up another pass to create a third-and-fifteen for the Dolphins. Maybe Quitness-in-Cleveland isn't the biggest Miami-Cleveland Prodigal Son return story of the week, eh? Well, no, but I like this plotline anyway. Browns get great field position at their 41.

  • 1:44 PM: Is this why we picked him up? Sabby Piscitelli is being used as a gunner on special teams and makes a nice tackle after the Browns go three-and-out following Haden's pick. As horrible as the Browns offense has looked, this is still a scoreless game, so no harm done, yet. If time of possession swings around against the Browns, though, I'm really worried about this team's defense in the fourth quarter. Every single Florida game has yielded weak, tired defense in the fourth quarter.

  • 1:42 PM: Better days are ahead, my friends. Joe Haden picks off another pass, giving the Browns their ball at the 36. I'm enthused not because I think the Browns are going to win this game - their offense is awful so far - but because the Browns 2010 draft class has been terrific despite the loss of Hardesty. Haden is a player, he's real, and he's a Pro Bowler in years go come.

  • 1:40 PM: Inception on DVD. There you go. Loved that movie. I'm doing my best to talk about everything but the game, because so far its dull and the Browns offense looks as limp as it has ever since McCoy got hurt.

  • 1:38 PM: The Browns offense remains ineffective despite the throw to Watson and Brian Daboll's unit does not move the chains again.

  • 1:36 PM: When in doubt, turn to Ben Watson. With the Browns obtaining only a single first down in the first quarter, Delhomme finds Watson open and hits him for 15 yards. Best Browns offensive play of the game so far. Without Watson, the Brown pass offense would be pretty weak indeed. He's one of my bigger surprises this season and an off-season pickup who has provided much more production than I expected.

  • 1:35 PM: They made another one of those "Meet the Parents" movies. Isn't Ben Stiller a little old to be playing a fearful young husband?

  • 1:32 PM: It sounds to me like the Dolphins are playing "WE WILL ROCK YOU" during the TV break and that someone is trying to shout-rap CLEVELAND as if to personalize the rocking we will receive. Seriously? No wonder sports fans in Miami are so lackadaisical about attending the events. I'm not sure I could subject myself that to that, either.

  • 1:30 PM: At this point, I'd like to remind everyone that these are just scribbles, so please don't get upset when I write idiotic things like the previous entry. Thanks.

  • 1:28 PM: The Browns always seem a bit lethargic in the hot Florida sun. It's almost reptilian. They seemed that way against both Tampa and Jacksonville this year. I'm hoping that the early signs of slowness are just fooling me. I'm paranoid and more comfortable in heavily refrigerated environments myself, so maybe I'm just reading something into the Browns that isn't there.

  • 1:24 PM: As Jake Delhomme throws the ball downfield into a deserted area of the field, we can reflect on the fact that we will not see any articles this week heralding Delhomme and Robiskie's chemistry. They sure as heck weren't on the same page there.

  • 1:22 PM: After an uneventful exchange of punts, Peyton Hillis moves the chains for the Browns, busting though a nice hole on the right side for 13 yards. For those disparaging John St. Clair of late (holds up hand, says "Yo"), the right tackle was key in creating a nice lane for Hillis on that one. So, points for you, Mr. St. Clair.

  • 1:16 PM: Shaun Rogers blocks Carpenter's field goal attempt, his fourteenth block of his career. For the first time in a while, I am recalling the contributions of DL Alvin McKinley. Dude could squeeze his way through the line and block some kicks.

  • 1:08 PM: After a brilliantly set up screen pass goes for 24, Joe Haden single-handedly helps shut down the Dolphins drive. First he knocks away a long pass intended for Brian Hartline (pick on the rookie, will you?) and then plays the run effectively to shut down an end-around by Williams. No way Haden leaves the starting lineup for the Browns without getting hurt. He belongs.

  • 1:06 PM: The Dolphins hit Davone Bess with their first pass, bringing Doug Farrar's warnings earlier this week back into memory. What a terrific UDFA signing he's turned out to be for Miami.

  • 1:05 PM: The Dolphins start off by establishing the run, but the third run is blown up by David Bowens, who looks quick compared to some of these big Dolphins linemen.

  • 1:01 PM: This is a must-win for the Dolphins, who are in playoff contention but have away games at the Jets and Patriots on the schedule still. As a 1-4 team at home, they need to establish that home-field advantage. Not a good set-up for the Browns.

  • 12:50 PM: For the sake of the permanent record, my pre-game nervousness of the last two weeks has been replaced by a strange, tranquil calm. The notion of the immobile Jake Delhomme starting with John St. Clair at right tackle and facing a tough Dolphins D and the league's sack leader should have me frozen, deer-like, in total abject fear. Yet, I feel a calm peace with my world. This may be because Jeff Schudel tweeted pre-game that he suspects a good game from Delhomme coming on. Jeff's instincts, like his writing, are pretty darn good, so maybe that's it.

  • 12:47 PM: Also, while I'm complaining, the various be-suited talking heads on jocularity-overloaded NFL pre-game shows should not touch each other during the show. Thank you.

  • 12:43 PM: Seriously, though, I find it twee and annoying. It's like fingers on a chalkboard for me. Pet peeve. Let me know something sportswriters do that annoys you in the comments, and I'll see if I can avoid them or do them more, depending on whether or not I think it's funny.

  • 12:35 PM: My pre-game Twitter rant against sportswriters using the phrase "scribbles" to describe their writing only drew three responses in agreement, so I've decided that it must be popular and have adopted it in the sub-title and deck to today's notebook. I hope that you have all learned a valuable lesson about ignoring my pre-10AM angry tweets.


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