Fun With Quotes: President-Speak Edition

It's not often we hear from Mike Holmgren. Let's find out what he really said.

Nearly two years ago, Mike Holmgren essentially replaced Randy Lerner as the defacto owner of the Browns. Upon his arrival, Holmgren was hailed as the savior of a franchise stuck in an eternal rebuilding mode. However, nearly two years later, Holmgren has emulated Lerner by quietly slipping into the shadows of Berea as the Browns have limped to another sluggish start. On Thursday, Holmgren offered both media and fans a rare chance to hear his thoughts on his inherited franchise. As we've learned, this kind of thing doesn't happen that often – so enjoy it while you can.

And of course, we've played this game before – there are words that are said – and those that are meant.

President Speak:

"Well this (holding a press conference) is fun, I haven't been able to do this is awhile so why don't we just fire away. I think last year about the half way point or at some point we did have a discussion and it was my first year and all those things."

Translation:

"But then again, last year we didn't have a meltdown occur this early in the season. Did you see that game last week? It's called damage control."

President Speak:

"There's no way I'm trading Peyton Hillis. There's just no way that was ever going to happen. Why would I do that? Why would I trade one of our best players? I wouldn't do it. Now, because of the nature of these types of negotiations and if Peyton has a good year he'll have opportunities now because you enter into free agency, legitimate free agency. Are we going to be a player in there to try and keep him here? Absolutely, I told him that yesterday."

Translation:

"And if Peyton has a bad year – guess what? He just became that much cheaper. Remember all that talk about a lucrative, new contract? Please."

President Speak:

"It really bothers me when I get these, ‘unnamed source' or however that's phrased. We're trying to put together a good organization and a good football team and all those things, all that is, is distracting us from what we're trying to do. All that is and it's too bad. I don't like it either."

Translation:

"Do you think the Browns have it bad? Just think about all those dying newspapers out there."

President Speak:

"If you go up to Josh Cribbs or Evan Moore or Mo (Mohamed Massaquoi) or any receiver and go, ‘You know you didn't see the ball too much, how do you feel about that?' ‘Oh, I'm happy, that's really good, I don't want to see the ball.' They're not going to say that. What are they going to say? No, I'd like to see the ball more. It happens."

Translation:

"But do you know who is happy? Ben Watson. Oh, and Montario Hardesty. He's estactic."

President Speak:

"Colt's going to play. Are we committed to Colt? Absolutely. Will we be committed to him after the season is over? I will always be committed to our players on this team."

Translation:

"It's just that Colt might not be one of those players. You guys know how I like to collect quarterbacks."

President Speak:

"But, I think now as he goes through this season, I don't expect him to change calling the game, but in all likelihood we'll hire an offensive coordinator next year because that frees the head coach up and his preparation and how he can prepare for the game during the week. A lot of the nuts and bolts that he's doing now, he can kick to somebody else and still oversee that, that's how I think it's going to. We'll sit down at the end of the season and evaluate that, he and I, but I kind of think that's where we're going to go with it."

Translation:

"This way, Pat can look up from his play call sheet every now and again."

President Speak:

"He (Randy Lerner) is tremendous, in fact, now that he's in Cleveland more we're together more and it's about as good as it can get for someone in my position. He is really helpful, he's really intuitive on certain things and he's gotten to know me and kind of how I react to things, he's good to talk to. I can't say enough about him, he's been a man of his word, he cares about the Browns, but he hasn't interfered, he's stayed with the plan. Do we talk about a lot of things? Absolutely, but I'm a very lucky man that way to have an owner like Randy Lerner."

Translation:

"Also, I haven't seen him in months. Perhaps someone should alert the authorities."

President Speak:

"There have not been any constrictions about money, so then it's just decision making. It's been my experience and I think probably Tom's as well, is that I think maybe we signed maybe the greatest free agent of all-time in Reggie White, the greatest free agent of all-time in Reggie White in Green Bay. At the time we paid him more money than anyone thought you should pay anybody. Now, looking back on it, it seems like beer money."

Translation:

"Tom Heckert and I must have been drunk when we signed Usama Young."

President Speak:

"There's room for improvement. I think part of that had to do with the offseason not being able to use it. I think some of the things we do are okay. Are we all a little frustrated by our offense right now? Yeah, I think so, but am I surprised? No, it did take some time to really time this thing out."

Translation:

"But then again, we also thought that Jake Delhomme was a starting quarterback."

President Speak:

"Yeah absolutely. I'm in and I told you what I'd like to see. One, I want to feel like I'm doing a good job. I don't want to waste anybody's time. I think we have a plan and to realize our goals and our plans, I think it takes some time. I've said that. I don't know what the future holds that way, but absolutely, I want to be here."

Translation:

"Unless things go really, really bad – like Phil Savage bad. Or get really, really good – like Bill Parcells good."


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