Swag’s Bag

Naming one’s kid after someone famous always strikes me as a little weird. It takes the already awkward celebrity/athlete-fan relationship to a new level.

In a few weeks, my wife will give birth to my first child, a boy. I’m also a Cleveland Browns fan and would like his name to be associated with the team in some way. If my wife would make the correlation she’d veto it. Suggestions on names I can use that would make both of us happy?

You guys don’t like Swagger? OK. OK.

Naming one’s kid after someone famous always strikes me as a little weird. It takes the already awkward celebrity/athlete-fan relationship to a new level. Placing that aside, if you want to give your kid a Browns-esque name, you have options.

These options probably won’t fly: Bernie, Otto, Ozzie, John Elway.

Three years ago my wife and I went through a similar conundrum. Friends knew of my association with the Browns and jokingly called my unborn son “Bernie.” Meanwhile, Joseph Thomas actually sounded pretty good to us, but we could never make that stride past that line of the aforementioned awkward athlete-fan relationship.

But this isn’t my kid. So I suggest…

Joseph Thomas


(These two are probably the best players the Browns have had since 1999 who don’t speed in Porsches or fail drug tests.)

Graham (A bit tamer than, Otto, which for me is too far out there.)

Kosar (A stretch, I know, but it sounds kinda cool as a first name.)

Call your shot: Johnny Manziel or Brian Hoyer in Week 1?

It is going to be Hoyer. It has to, right? So far all we’ve heard during the offseason workouts is how on top of things Hoyer is and how good he looks in practice.

That, coupled with his performances in three games last year tells me Mike Pettine will want someone a bit more composed taking snaps that first week at Pittsburgh.

Save for an upcoming Pro Bowl season where Hoyer places himself firmly among the top-five quarterbacks in the NFL, this will be Johnny’s team soon enough. You must have patience my friend. His time will come.

For now, why not back the local boy who put together three solid games last year and may lead this team out of the vast vortex of suck? If that means I have to wait for Johnny Football, I’ll wait.

Is it OK to wear a jersey?

This is complicated. On the surface I say no, but like any rules there are exceptions.

•Children from ages infant to college-aged — jerseys of current players are OK.

•Adult males who are contributing members to society — it is NOT OK to wear a jersey of a current player. Isn’t it uncomfortable to see a 45-year-old banker wearing a jersey of a 21-year-old Johnny Manziel?

•Adult males who are contributing members to society — MAY wear jerseys, but only of former greats (Hall of Fame-level) or ironically. (LOL, LOOGIT that Jamel White jersey that guy has on!!!)

•Females – YES, PLEASE. A girl in a Browns jersey? There is no better site to be seen.

Josh Gordon will have his meeting with the NFL Aug. 1. He’ll probably get a one-year suspension. Will we ever see him in a Browns uniform again?

Yes because he is an unbelievable talent. If Josh Gordon was, say, Greg Little, the Browns would have cut him months ago. The fact remains Gordon did things on the football field last year not seen by Browns fans — or professional football fans for that matter — in a long, long time. If ever.

Gordon is going to get every chance imaginable to rid himself of whatever demons, issues or “friends” that are causing the off-the-field stupid behaviors because when he’s on the field he can help a football team. Some may think that’s wrong. They may very well be right. The NFL is not above hypocrisy.

Gordon’s current contract ends after the 2015 season. He could potentially play next season, so long as his personal issues are conquered. Why cut him? For his own good? OK, but this is a business and the Browns know a talent like Gordon can help them on the field.

Gordon has shown in the past he isn’t willing to change for the better. Now that he’ll probably be suspended a year? Maybe, possibly, finally this time he will.


To send in your questions to the Swag Bag, email Don at ddelco@gmail.com or hit him up on Twitter @DonDelcoOBR. If you are a hipster and want to actually write a letter and send it into the Swag Bag, too bad. Use these here Interwebs and send an email or tweet at me like a normal, functioning person in today’s society.

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