=== DOSSIER: TE KEN DILGER===
STATUS: HE'S ON THE FIRST PLANE OUT
3/3/2002: The Ken Dilger Love Tour continues. The ex-Colt TE continues to break hearts across the US as he wins the affections team after team, only to spurn them and move on. This weekend, it was the Lions making goo-goo eyes at Dilger according to Tom Kowalski of Booth Newspapers. The reporter hopefully says that Dilger could be one the Lions first signings, but GM Matt "I hired a lunatic" Millen is more realistic: "There are five other teams interested in him". You can almost hear the sigh of unrequited love. The Indy Star reports that Tampa Bay is the next stop on the Love Tour.
2/28/2002: Next to Ricky Dreadlocks, Ken Dilger is the early star of the 2002 Free Agent Swap Meet and Flea Market. The Dilger travelling road show stopped in Boston recently, and left with Dilger's agent waxing eloquent about the Patriots. "It went good...Ken was really impressed". (Pet peeve: someone tell the agent it should be stated as "went well" not "went good". Arrrgh. This is one of those little grammatical things that get stuck in my head and drives me nuts when I hear it. Sort of like fingernails on a chalkboard. But then again, I'm usually over-caffeinated and jumpy). Anyhow, there are a bunch of teams that Dilfer's agent will say he's in love with, and Dilger will visit them all, I'm sure. It's sort of a Travelling Love Tour 2K2 - maybe they'll print up t-shirts. (AB)
2/24/2002: In direct opposition to my stance on Official Sites of Official NFL Teams (see frequently repeated rant below) trying to pretend to be "news sites", I'm positively enthusiastic about the old media of newspapers. There's something about laying a newspaper underneath your coffee on a Sunday morning, or underneath your dog during critical moments, that can't be replaced by a computer screen. Sometimes, also, there's good stuff spewed forth from these ink-stained wretches that never gets put on the web. Such is the case today with Jeff Schudel's column in the Lake Country News-Herald. In today's NFL Notebook, Shudel reports that the Browns have a shot at getting Dilger because of the relationship with Arians (which we knew), but then lists the teams chasing the Indy TE (which we didn't know). Schudel mentions the Bungles (yeah), Patriots, Lions, Buccaneers and Chargers as being in the hunt along with the Browns. The Bungle interest is confirmed, if a bit sad and pathetic, and today we also get confirmation of the likely Pats interest from the Boston Herald.
2/23/2002: My view on Official Sites of NFL Teams pretending to cover "news" is well-known by now: I consider going to these sites for news to be about as useful to going to www.pepsi.com to find out how good Coke tastes. I find the Bungles site to be particularly noxious because of how it pretends to be news and the way that the team has gone after legitimate fan sites - particularly ones critical of Head Bungler Mike Brown, who is supposedly Paul Brown's son. Yeah. And my parakeet is a direct descendent of Princess flippin' Anastasia.
Anyhow, Bungles.com claims that the team will at some point talk to Ken Dilger about becoming a Bungle. Apparently Dilger knows someone in the Bungle front office and would do him the favor of talking to him. This is like finding out that one of your old college friends is now an insurance salesman and patiently listening to the pitch as a favor (actually happened to me). So, the Bungles "news reporter" excitedly chats about this, not noting that becoming a Bungle is the NFL equivalent of exile to a leper colony. Whatever. Dilger is apparently talking to other teams, and we'll let you know when the real franchises start courting him.
Oh wait! Here's one. The Patriots (who crushed nepatriots.com a couple years ago) report the "news" on their website that they're interested in Dilger. Apparently, mentioning Dilger has been approved by the NFL Owners Media Self-Reporting Committee. (Sigh)
2/19/2002: It was kind of cool cruising home last night and listening to an "expert" on the radio blasting the Texans as dopes because they didn't snag Dilger when they had the chance. Now it looks like everyone is going to get a chance, as the Indy Star reports that Dilger is doom, doom, doomed in Indianapolis. The Colts are well over the salary cap and Dilger has got seven years of wear and a $3.4 million cap figure. The article maintains that the Dilger and Colts might restructure, but the Colts TE will clearly get to test the free agent market.
On a totally unrelated note, talking about doom has got me thinking about what nimrods Viacom are for cancelling Invader Zim... the second-funniest show on TV not named "Futurama" (also cancelled). If you felt like joining me in signing a petition that demands the return of the Urkin invader, I wouldn't stop you. Fortunately, I've got this web site to allow me to help focus attention on the truly critical issues of our era. (AB)
2/11/2002: Mike McLain got us going on this one by bringing up what a great fit Dilger would be in C-town. The Indy tight end is returning from the Pro Bowl this week, and starting work on finding a new employer. The Texans might go after the seven-year vet, but they're like kids in a candy store these days, so who knows if they will or not. The Indy Star, though, is presenting the harsh truth to the dozens of Colts fans who aren't watching basketball 24x7: Dilger is gone in Indy. Toast. Finis. The team will release him if he doesn't get snatched up by the Texans. Three-to-one Bruce Arians has Dilger's agent on speed dial.