A Year of Weirdness

Browns fans can be found in all corners of the earth, frequently the dimly lit ones in drinking establishments. From some unidentified spot on the globe, here comes Commentate-Off 2K2 survivor Crispy with his inaugural column, looking back at the strange year it's been since we last stood on the brink of a new football season.

What a strange year it has been.

This time last year, I knew the gig was up. It would be the last month I would spend in England. I lived there for a long time; I had good friends, a good local pub. I was settled in and ready to stay a lifetime. The school where I was at offered me candidacy towards a PhD and I was ready to live the rest of my life in that green and pleasant land. The British government wasn't. All my funding dried up and it was time to go. It was a year where I lost a woman who I thought I'd marry and it was a year I lost my father to cancer and he was only 54. In a matter of days I'm calling every friend I still knew in the US asking if they would keep me for a few weeks while I got my act together, only one had a room and he lived in Baltimore.

What unfortunate stinking luck.

My flight back to the US was to change planes in Reykjavik. I thought I'd stay for a few days to take in the sights (besides, how many people get to run around in Iceland?) One morning I woke up a little delicate from the previous night's boozing with the locals and turned on the TV to see 3000 of my fellow Americans die for no reason at all. It would be another week before I got back home and I had no cash.

Coming back to a country I barely recognised was all the more difficult considering I only knew one person in the whole town.

Instinctively, I got on the Internet, found the Baltimore Browns backers, and started getting my life back.

I needed that last season more than I could've ever imagined. What a wonderful thing to see the team you love begin to show signs of greatness, and then to cap off the whole season with the best damn Super Bowl with the best damn half-time show ever. God knows it could've gone the other way – the Ravens could've repeated.

So this is my parable telling all that within Pandora's box there still lies hope.

Times are a little crazy right now and I think people need something to root for and feel good about. What a great time to be a Browns fan.

Kansas City… it's time for a reckoning.

Dog Bites (the plagiarism is intentional)

  • I think the new conditioning program would've helped Mr. Green if he'd not done the same bullshit contract dance every unproven rookie thinks they can get away with (and do).
  • Is it me or is Davis one badly shaven moustache from looking like a certain early 20th century Aryan dictator? Is it too much conditioner or just a general failure to blow-dry? Where is this man's wife?
  • Why is it so difficult for the league to admit they screwed up during the Jacksonville game? Fine, bottle throwing = bad, I get it, but not being accountable for officiating mistakes is also bad. I can separate these issues, what is the problem here? Don't get me started about that little press leak disguised as league propaganda about how the refs feared for their lives. No discussion about moving to the middle of the field? Come on.
  • I would love nothing more than for baseball to go on strike. Bring in Jimmy Carter, he stopped a war in Haiti and helped sign a peace deal between Israel and Egypt and builds houses for the poor. Who else has a better resume?
  • Why is it all cafeteria food must suck?
  • I know the whole story about how the Fullback is dead position, blah, blah, blah, but I'm a little nervous that we don't actually have one and even more nervous the press seems to think we do. Carl Fair? J.J. Johnson? Are you nuts?
  • Ok… the point above would all be fine if we had a good group of TE's. Err… we don't… (see conditioning point above).
  • I'm a little sick of the press calling Couch "injury prone"… how many sacks did this guy take before even looking like he was in trouble? Some practice squad thug running into your thumb doesn't count as injury prone. Injury prone is when the bones in your foot separate for no apparent reason.

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