Fan View: Deep Thoughts

Jeff B. watched the Browns-Steelers game amidst the yinzers. So, he's pretty much gone insane now.

If I had been at the Pittsburgh game last Thursday and had one of those Terrible Towels (NOT!!), I would have been tempted to throw it on the field in hopes the mis-matched fight could be halted.
In the bar I was in a few Steeler fans were laughing and yelling (they like to yell) "Mercy, mercy."
It reminded me of a scene from Braveheart (right at the end of the movie).
As a Browns fan it doesn't get worse than getting rolled by the Steelers 2x in a season, especially when you're forced to watch Cleveland get killed on national TV amongst a bunch of Pittsburgh fans.
So, how have key elements of the team done in yet another crappy season?
Ted Washington

He was brought in to stop the run.  How's that worked out?
Willie McGinest

See Ted Washington definition above for the run.  Willie Parker beats the Steelers' all-time single game rushing record.  Not this season.  Not last season.  Not the last seven seasons.
Pretty sickening since it covers all Steeler backs from John Henry Johnson to Franco, all the way to the Bus!
Dennis Northcutt

Runs back punts very well.  Catching passes?  Uh, no.
Braylon Edwards

The only thing for sure is that he makes a lot of money.  The Browns were in last place before they shelled out his signing bonus/contract and they're last with him.  Not much help to the team except in maybe the interview department. 
Maybe not.
Defensive Line

The NFL is always trying to make new rules to protect their favorite players, the quarterbacks.
No problem.
Send each team game films of Cleveland's D-line. 
They'll show you how to protect the QB.
Offensive Line

They've made a request to play against Cleveland's D-line weekly.  Cleveland's D-line has made a similar request in wanting to play against the Browns O-line.
Seeing a pattern here?
By the way, rumor has it that Cleveland's O-line (if you can identify 5 healthy ones) has requested that Charlie Frye and Derek Anderson roll with the AFLAC Duck to get some disability insurance soon.
Just as a precaution, of course.
Defensive Backfield

I keep seeing torches in my head.  Must be the bad monster movie I watched last week.
Or could it be some kind of symbolism?
Reuben Droughns

Wondering why he left Denver.
That leaves Joe Jurevicius, Kamerion Wimbley, Andra Davis and a smattering of special teamers as guys we can start to build with.
Oh, and special teamers generally don't get the big bucks.  They play hard or get cut.
They understand.
Not bad if Cleveland plans to petition the ACC for membership next year.
Instead of beating Pittsburgh and Baltimore, we'll want to Beat Butch Davis at North Carolina.
Probably won't even be able to do that.
Mr. Savage, Crennel and Lerner, the clock is ticking.  No, not for any of you, but for the loyal Browns fans that have had just about enough.
So what you say?
After all, it's just entertainment.
The Browns remind me of one of those bad acts on American Idol.  They hit a few good notes and that enables friends, family, etc., to tell them how good they are.
When they actually perform, however, they're booed off the stage.
They stink.
Just A Thought (ok several thoughts)
Next time you watch post-game interviews , look for these animals that have begun to dominate Berea.
Enabling Coach
Coach:  "We're showing improvement in ways the average fan wouldn't be aware of."
Reporter:  "What are they coach?"
Coach:  "Without getting technical, we're doing the little things better."
Reporter:  "What little things coach?"
Coach:  "Don't badger me.  I've given you an answer.  Next question."
Ex-Jock:  "It was cold last night.  Catching the ball is tougher in frigid weather."
Reporter:  "But they've been dropping passes all year, even in warm weather."
Ex-Jock:  "It's tough catching the ball when it's nice out.  You have the sun in your eyes.  Next question."
Diehard Fan
Diehard Fan:  "The officials have it out for us.  They're using their whistles to reflect the sun off them, and the glare is causing our receivers to drop passes, and, and, yea, they're jumping in front of our defensive backs, and, and they know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried and, and....."
Doctor:  "Excuse me sir, it's time for your meds.  Want me to loosen your straight jacket?"
I don't know about you but for me, go Cavaliers!
A be, A be............THAT'S ALL FOLKS.

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