Death Chat 2007: Gaping Hole Edition

The gang debates matters great and small as the clock ticks down to draft day...

Barry: Let's rock this joint
Barry: TOPIC 1: The Houston Texans reportedly flip first round choices and give away two second rounders for Matt Schaub. Should the Browns have offered a similarly attractive deal? By this I mean not the same exact deal, but one that has the similar value overall...
John: No way.
Rich: No.
Fred: No
Barry: Wow. No Schaub believers here?
Barry: Rich, I thought you were a believer
Rich: As much as I like Matt Schaub, I wouldn't give the Falcons anything close to what the Texans gave them.
John: Nothing even close to that deal should've gotten Schaub. McKay bent the Texans over big time.
Rich: Rich McKay hosed Rick Smith.
John: Yes he did.
Barry: I told folks in the TAP room today that I felt the Browns could have had Schaub for just a second round pick by draft day
John: Nice call, Nostradumbass
Barry: You're mean.
McKay had to be working big time to make a deal before draft day.
Fred: I don't think they're that interested in QB's
Barry: So the OBR view is "Atlanta wins bigtime" on this deal.
Rich: Slam dunk
John: Uhhh, yes.
Fred: I think so.
Rich: If I'm Phil Savage, I'm on the phone with Bruce Allen (Tampa Bay GM) working a deal for Calvin Johnson so the Falcons don't trade up and get him.
John: Color me lost. Which is my favorite color, btw.
Barry: Explain yourself, Rich
John: Yeah, I'd like an explanation as well.
Rich: Johnson is big down in Atlanta. The Falcons need a wide receiver for Michael Vick.
Rich: And now that they moved up two spots and have a couple of seconds in their pocket, that's trade ammo.
Rich: Allen is sitting on Johnson at #4. The Falcons want him. And should be willing to trade up to Cleveland at #3.
Rich: Allen has got to be worried the Falcons will do just that.
Fred: Good idea
Barry: I think Calvin Johnson winds up being the first pick anyway.
Barry: Carr goes to the Raiders, Moss gets traded, CJ is the first pick. Makes too much sense.
Rich: Good idea. Not gonna happen.
John: Raiders will take Johnson #1 overall. I'm more convinced than ever. And if they don't, the Lions will sell, sell, sell that second pick to whomever wants CJ.
Rich: Russell to Raiders.
John: Possible, Rich, but not as much of a lock as it appeared even two weeks ago.
Rich: Who's gonna throw to him?
Barry: David Carr, Andrew Walter...
Barry: I talked to a scout today who said that whoever is in front of Johnson in this year's draft will be remembered as Sam Bowie
Fred: This would be a good year for the no. 1 pick to be signed before the draft, so the Browns know what's going on.
John: Amen Fred.
Barry: That would be nice
Rich: You really think Al Davis is that much in love with Carr?
John: Is Davis alive enough to actually feel love?
Rich: Good point.
Barry: Nah, but even Davis has to know that he can't put a QB behind that line with no weapons and expect to win.
John: Russell would be a 6th OL, though.

TOPIC 2: It's the Browns first offensive play of the 2007 regular season. Who is playing right tackle for Cleveland, and why...
Rich: Ryan Tucker.
John: Tucker
Fred: Tucker
Barry: Wow, did you guys have a pre-death chat meeting today?
Rich: Because he says he's ready to return and he's the club's best RT.
John: Because, until proven otherwise, he is their best option at that position.
Fred: The Browns are due for a break.
John: Yes
Rich: Please use another word, Fred.
John: lol Rich
Fred: Touche
Barry: The OBR crew is confident in Tucker.
Barry: That was quick. Next topic.

TOPIC 3: Now that the Browns have signed DE Robaire Smith, what is the position most badly in need of upgrade on the Cleveland Browns?
Rich: Nose tackle.
Fred: cornerback
John: The DL still.
Barry: Ah ha!
John: Dissension!
Rich: A staff difference
Barry: You think Ted is done, Rich?
Rich: Indeed.
Fred: They don't have a starter opposite Bodden
Rich: Can a cornerback stop the run?
John: Not if his name rhymes with "Deion Sanders"
Barry: I agree with Fred here. CB is a gaping hole that needs to be solved before the season.
Fred: Shaun Smith
Rich: And I'd like to see what a healthy Minter can do.
Barry: He's a Cleveland Browns draft pick. We won't get lucky with him to have him capable of stepping right in. Hasn't played in a year.
Fred: I think they have to draft a starter in round 2 or 3
John: And Holly. People just shove him to the side and ignore him. Should he be the reason you don't look for an upgrade? No, but he's more talented than he's given credit for.
Rich: Stop the run first, second and third. Don't cha get it? They need another DE and NT before they can think about the secondary
Barry: I get it, Rich, MAN do I get it. I just think Washington/Smith are more serviceable than Daven Holly and hope at CB.
John: I wouldn't be that absolute, but I could go along with that Rich
John: They do need to find someway to stop the run.
Rich: And what they have on board now isn't good enough.
Fred: The Smith boys will re-invigorate Roye
Barry: Look, I'm the first guy to say "build in the trenches", but you don't work on enhancing the structure of your foundation when there's a four-alarm fire on the second floor.
Barry: No one can defeat the Galloping Analogist!
Rich: It's better than last season, though.
John: Not yet. Definitely still in need of an upgrade
John: agreed
Rich: That's if Roye's knees hold up.
John: Run defense has killed this team for eight years.
Rich: Michael Myers is a UFA. Why not at least look at him as a DE?
John: Upgrade over Fraser, and whomever is behind Smith. And you'd think I'd remember his name since I did the depth chart
Barry: That wouldn't be a bad idea, Rich. Just remember that this division has Carson Palmer and Steve McNair. A weak CB is gonna kill us.
Fred: Maybe Romeo could fill the gap.
Sound thinking.
Rich: He looks the part.
Fred: Any FA still out there worth signing.
Barry: Which position, Fred? CB?
Fred: I meant DL
Barry: Spencer Johnson, Randy Starks, Alfonso Boone are the best available. Not much.
John: Not a lot to choose from at either position, Fred
Rich: How's this for laughs: Courtney Brown.
Barry: Noooooooooooo!
Rich: Don't hold back, boys.
John: Good guy, bad breaks, but enough injury issues that you don't need to bring in a walking medical chart
John: We were being nice, Rich
Rich: He gives HIPAA a bad name.
John: lol
John: But he did have good HIPAA rotation coming out of college

Meanwhile... next topic...
Barry: TOPIC 4: Pro Football talk says Kellen Winslow "out for the year". The team's official site says "Winslow is fine" in a story that avoided using the word "micro-fracture". If someone is so foolish as to not be a subscriber to the OBR and get the inside scoop from our guys, what advice would you give them about what to believe?
Fred: If he could catch 89 passes last year, I think he'll be able to play this year.
John: Winslow is ahead of schedule in his rehab. Could he have a setback? Yes. But, as of yesterday, the story from PFT was wrong.
Rich: Wait until training camp in July and see if he's on the field when the team first jogs out for the first practice.
Fred: Along with LeCharles
All good answers. I can't even argue with you guys. Stop making sense.
John: The point is, right now, the story was wrong.
Rich: First time PFT has been wrong, right?
John: Yes, Rich.
Rich: Florio has got tons of that fecal matter in his back yards and dispenses it with care.

FOLLOW-UP QUESTION: How worried are you?
John: Not very.
Rich: Ditto
John: (very pregnant pause)

Barry: TOPIC 5: Can you explain why Adam "Pac Man" Jones is not already looking for a real job? If you were running the Titans, would he be?
Fred: He's got a rap sheet longer than mc hammer
John: PacMan should just be gone. Gone. let him be a gangsta while flippin' burgers.
John: Let him get a real job and shower strippers with pennies.
Barry: Dude has had 8 legal entanglements since being drafted. He should be gone already.
Fred: He's another guy living up to his reputation.
Rich: Or down.
Barry: Yep. This is why you do homework before the draft....
Rich: Remember Jeremiah Pharms?
Barry: All too well, Rich
Barry: Where's our Cavaliers updates, anyway?
Fred: Down by 13 after three
John: Cavs were down by three at this time last night.
Rich: They look sorry tonight.

Alright... time for the LIGHTNING ROUND!
Barry: 1. Courtney Brown now out of the NFL. Name the bigger bust: Brown or Tim Couch?
John: Brown
Fred: Brown
Rich: Couch. He stayed healthier longer than Brown.
Barry: CORRECT ANSWER: Tim Couch, because the miss defined the expansion Browns first five years
Barry: Rich leads.
John: FU both
Barry: See? I type my answers in advance. I'm clever.
Rich: How can you call a guy who couldn't stay healthy a bust? We'll never know how good he could have become.
Fred: It's rigged
Barry: Yes

2. You're on the clock: Brady Quinn, Adrian Peterson and Joe Thomas are available. The Bucs offer you their second round pick to move up. Do you take the deal, yes or no?
John: No, I take Quinn.
Fred: I take Peterson
Rich: Absolutely.
Rich: Then I take Peterson.
Barry: Tricky, Rich.
Barry: CORRECT ANSWER: Take the trade and fill another gaping hole.
Barry: Like... cornerback!!
Rich: Assuming a flip flop of No. 1s.
Barry: Yeah. That's right
Rich: You can pick up a CB in the third round or later.
Barry: You all get partial points on that one. JT gets a half point because my wife likes Notre Dame.
John: I see she married down
Rich: Duck!!!!!
Fred: lightning
Barry: With me? Pretty much that's the textbook definition of marrying down.
John: Are you a Russian or French judge, Barry?
Barry: More Russian. Better salad dressing.
Fred: Did she get a third round in the deal?
John: lol Fred
Rich: No. The trading deadline passed.

3. Name the next Browns defensive lineman to be cast off and then picked up by Denver
John: Michael Dean Perry
Fred: Alvin McKinley...then Orpheus Roye
Rich: He hasn't been drafted yet.
Barry: You're all wrong
Barry: CORRECT ANSWER: Nick Eason
Barry: Final bonus question

4. BONUS QUESTION: Do you enjoy watching a good gladiator movie?
Fred: Yes
Rich: Huh?
John: Of course. Not that there's anything wrong with that
Rich: Is this a trick Russell Crowe question?
Barry: CORRECT ANSWER: Yes. 300 rocked.
Barry: I went off-topic, sorry.
Rich: You should be.
Barry: LOL...
John: You ever seen a grown man naked, Barry?
Barry: Only in a Turkish prison.
John: :-)
Rich: Is it time to say good night?
Fred: That's scary
Barry: It's time! Good night, everybody!
Rich: Nitey nite.

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