Just for the record, I hate mock drafts. Despise them, actually. They serve no functional purpose other than to take away about four hours of my life that I'll never, ever be able to get back.
Kinda like freely attending a Gigli/Ishtar double feature, only not nearly as entertaining.
Anyway, you guys wanted it, you clamored for it, so here it is. Feel free to let the rips flow freely, I won't be offended. Although, I may not get to them as I will be busy jamming sharp objects into my eyes, which, right after mock drafts, is my next favorite leisure activity.
Well, that and willingly taking steel-toed boots to the testicles.
After much consternation and wailing and gnashing of teeth, the Raiders make up for passing over potential franchise-type quarterbacks Cutler and Leinart last year. The decision to pass up the most gifted player in the draft is not an easy one, though, and seeing our next pick in this slot would not be the least bit surprising.
Whether it's the Lions—unlikely—or another team trading up—highly likely—the mega-talented wideout will not make it past the #2 spot. Both the Falcons and Bucs are thought to entertain thoughts of trading for the pick, with Atlanta being the most serious in their Johnson intentions.
While this will not be a popular pick in many corners of Brownstown, it is the right pick for this organization. The Browns must get better and more consistent play from the QB position. Quinn would provide just that.
This was a tough, tough call. In the end, though, the Bucs long-in-the-tooth defense trumps their desire for a left tackle.
The Cardinals get the player they've targeted for the past few months, although they may have to trade up with Tampa Bay to secure his services.
As they have no picks in the second, third or fourth rounds, the Redskins will look to trade out of this spot. If they stay, however, the young phenom is their guy.
Even though they have other needs, the ultra-talented RB is too much for the Vikings to pass up. Also, the Bills or even the Packers could look to trade up for the opportunity to select Peterson.
8. ATLANTA FALCONS – LaRon Landry, S, LSU
Should the Falcons not be able to jump up and grab Johnson, getting perhaps least publicized "sure thing" in the draft is an exceptional consolation prize. Not only do the Falcons fill a position of need, but they get the best available player to boot.
Miami would love for Quinn to fall to them—and may even attempt to trade up for the QB should he get past the Browns—but will settle on the consensus second-rated tackle in the draft.
The Texans are another team who could look to trade up for Peterson should he slide. And the reason for Revis over Hall? Just call it a hunch.
This is the player the Niners are targeting, and it will take them approximately 1.7 seconds to get the card with the LB's name on it to the commissioner.
The Bills would love for Willis to somehow fall to them, but will gladly accept the high-motor Carriker. A trade-up to grab Peterson is also a very real possibility.
The Rams need pass rushers, and the organization would consider it a gift from the football gods should this top-ten talent somehow find his way into their laps.
The Panthers are in more dire need of a safety job than any white team in history. Gooooooddddd moooorrrrnnnning Charrrrrrlotte!
15. PITTSBURGH STEELERS – Leon Hall, CB, Meatchicken
16. GREEN BAY PACKERS – Marshawn Lynch, RB, Cal
A definite need position here as the Packers are considering all options, up to and including Paul Hornung. The Packers will need to get over the Lynch character concerns, but need would in the end trump that.
How again did the city of Jacksonville get an NFL team? That one's still a head scratcher.
18. CINCINNATI BENGALS – Alan Branch, DT. Meatchicken
Who dey? More to the point, who cares.
(Writer's note: If you haven't been able to tell, I'm getting really bored at this point. In fact, I could nod off at any…….)
(……and I'm back. Sorry about that. Let's trudge on.)
Personally, I think Ginn is overrated as a receiver, but his speed and return ability is too much for Tennessee to pass on.
20. NEW YORK GIANTS – Chris Houston, CB, Arkansas
Three players from Arkansas in the top twenty of an NFL draft? Isn't that like the 3rd or 4th sign of the apocalypse? Anyway, I nearly pulled the trigger and sent OT Staley to The Big Apple. Same with the Steelers and Staley.
21. DENVER BRONCOS - Jarvis Moss, DE, Florida
This pick makes me leery because, as far as I know, Moss has never played defensive line for the Browns, nor does he have any relatives that have done so that I'm aware of.
22. DALLAS COWBOYS – Robert Meachem, WR, Tennessee
The ‘Boys would love for Ginn Jr. to fall to them at this spot. From what I've heard.
If I were doing a second round for this mock, I'd be pissed at myself for taking Grubbs here because I would love for him to fall to the Browns at #36. And you know how I'm going to punish myself? By completing this mock draft. That'll teach me.
24. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS – Aaron Ross, CB, Texas
Does it really matter who the Patriots take here? We all know they'll hit on whomever it is, so let's move on.
25. NEW YORK JETS – Greg Olsen, TE, Miami
Is there anything more irritating and grating than J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS fans on draft day? The only thing I could think of would be scraping your fingernails across a chalkboard while simultaneously chewing on aluminum foil. With "The View" on in the background.
26. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES – Justin Harrell, DT, Tennessee
Harrell has been rising up the draft charts and could even be gone—to the Broncos for example—by the time the Eagles are on the clock.
(Note to the Mock Draft Regulatory Commission: I used two key draftnik phrases—"rising up the draft charts" and "on the clock"--in the same sentence. I respectfully submit that I deserve recognition at your next quarterly summit. Or, at the bare minimum, a mention in your monthly newsletter. Thanks you for your time and consideration in this matter.)
27. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS – Lawrence Timmons, LB, FSU
Remember when FSU was relevant and Bobby Bowden wasn't a caricature of his former self? I miss those old ‘Noles.
28. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS – David Harris, LB, Meatchicken
(Please refer to selection #24)
Eric Parker, Vincent Jackson, Malcolm Floyd, Karim Osgood, Greg Camarillo and Mark Simmons currently reside on the Chargers' depth chart. Ummm, I'm no expert, but I'm thinking the ‘Bolts need to upgrade the position. Fast.
Rex Grossman is their starting QB. ‘Nuff said.
32. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS – Paul Posluszny, LB, Penn State
They could go defensive line here as well, but I'm at the end of my rope and no longer feel the need for inner debate with myself.