Death Chat 2007: Question Desperation Edition

While an unnamed webdork frantically tries to come up with ten good questions in late June, there is pointing and laughing. Yes, pointing and laughing. And, we hope some decent football talk and humor to while away the days waiting for Training Camp to start...

Barry: Hey
John: 'Bout time
Rich: Boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Barry: Just got a call from Fred. He's sitting in a dark room because his power is out.
Barry: Hey Rich!
Rich: Good time to develop film
Barry: So, I think it's just the three of us, which at least means that it will be efficient.
John: It's storming like crazy over here.
Rich: We did it last week. Why should this week be any different?
Barry: My questions stink tonight, so is there anything you guys want to talk about before I start reeling them out.
John: Don't talk about RAC and his future. It's not allowed
Barry: Well, there go three of my questions. Darn it.
Rich: How 'bout an Isaac Sowells topic?
John: lol
Barry: Everyone loves Isaac!
Rich: No. Everyone loves Raymond.
Barry: Here we go...

1. Tank Johnson. Cut by the Bears last week. Does his wind up in the NFL again within the year, or will Goodell's constant harping on off-field conduct keep him off the field?
Rich: He'll be back within a year
Rich: Someone will pick him up.
John: I don't think he'll see the field in '07. When his case comes up for review, Goodell will make him sit the rest of the year.
Rich: I'm guessing Goodell tacks on two more games to the eight he already has.
Barry: Does that same fate await Pacman?
Rich: Pacman won't see the field till at least the middle of 2008.
Rich: Unless, of course, he is convicted in Las Vegas.
John: I don't think this latest incident will sit too well with the Commish, and he'll tack on eight more when his review comes up after six games
Rich: Pacman's review comes up after 10 games.
John: I was referring to Tank
Rich: Oh. Having trouble following. Sound familiar?
John: lol, imagine that Rich
John: With the path Pacman is on, he probably won't be breathing in '08
Rich: If then.
John: He will probably get signed, but I see the Commish sitting him down for the rest of the year
Barry: Tank will get another shot after this "good off-field" thing winds down. Teams are too competitive to resist.

2. Phil Savage this week on Brady Quinn starting: "The wild card is Brady Quinn," said Savage. "If he's there at the beginning, he'll be right in the mix." How much of that statement is pressuring Condon and Quinn to get to camp on time? Do you think Romeo Crennel agrees?
Rich: Can't speak for Romeo.
Rich: But I don't think Savage is trying to pressure Condon and Quinn. Money will be the key to that confrontation.
John: Given his competition, I think he has a legitimate shot if he's in camp on time. And, sure, it's a shot across Condon's bow.
Barry: I think it was just a little needling, in the hope that Quinn pressures Condon. No harm done.
John: And I think RAC wants whomever will help save his job.
Rich: Condon knows Quinn will start eventually. Don't think he'll cave to possible starting status and settle for less money.
Barry: From the agent's perspective, keep that long term view.
Barry: Sad, but true.
Rich: Barry: Watch my typing. Working on a laptop. Some mistakes. Tnx.
John: Some??? Some???
Rich: OK. A lot.
Barry: I don't understand people who make typos. It repulses me.
Rich: Me, too.
John: Does that laptop have the Greek alphabet?
Rich: And Latin

Barry: 3. Off-season competition check: Do you feel that any of the Browns AFC North rivals are significantly better heading into this season than last?
John: Significantly? No way. I think all three pretty much stayed status quo, although McGahee should help the Rats.
Rich: No. Baltimore will still be tough. Cincinnati will go as far as Carson Palmer takes them and the Steelers will be worse.
John: I will actually agree with the esteemed Mr. Passan on all three counts.
Rich: Can I change my mind?
Barry: Too late to back off now, Rich.
Barry: I'm getting a "downward tumble" vibe from Pittsburgh. Bengals have the off-field troubles but there's no getting around the talent on that roster.
John: "esteemed" means (expletive deleted), right?
Rich: In Latin or Greek?
John: French
Rich: Close enough.

4. The Browns acquired WR Efrem Hill and FB JR Niklos, while waiving S Ben Emanuel this week. Can you read the previous sentence twice in a row and stay awake and alert? Is any of this likely to make a difference?
Rich: Huh?
John: snoresnoresnore
Rich: Big whoop.
John: Huh, what was that?
John: Nodded off for a second. What was the question?
Barry: Exactly. Have my answer.
John: And no to the second part.
Barry: Why acquire another WR? Isn't Syndric Steptoe enough?
Rich: They waived Ben Emanuel? What were they thinking
John: Reaching for questions, eh McBride?
Barry: Wait until you see this next one
John: Oh boy, duck Rich...

Barry: 5. The Browns this week converted two upper deck sections (scarily close to my tix) as "Family Zones" where there will be no booze served, and mascots will wander relatively unmolested. Seems like a good move to market tickets. Does it make you miss Muni more?
Rich: It's official. He's reaching, John.
John: I heard him pull a muscle all the way here in Elyria, reaching that far
Barry: (Utilizes slang phrase which essentially means "no kidding") Told you my questions stunk this week.
John: Watch the language.
Rich: What he said.
Rich: Doesn't interest me in the least.
John: Everything about CBS makes me miss Muni
Barry: Totally irrelevant.
Barry: Two hours ago, I was cleaning my garage, which is more interesting than being a Browns fan in late June.
Rich: Pretty sad.

Barry: Mercifully, it's the....
Barry: the....
John: Fred already had his lightning round
Rich: LOL
Barry: Zap!
John: :-)

1. Journalistic Outrage Meter: Which would spark more local journalistic outrage?
  (A) Browns sign Tank Johnson
  (B) AFC North rival signs Tank Johnson while the Browns do nothing?
John: (A) hands down
Rich: (C) None of the above.
John: Terry Pluto's head would explode if they signed Tank
Barry: No journalistic outrage from either, Rich?
Rich: Hurry up, Barry, this is getting worse.
Barry: Fine. Man. Cranky.

Barry: 2. If you were Romeo Crennel what would be your reaction to this statement from Phil Savage that Todd Grantham "has tremendous upside and we think he has potential to be a head coach":
  (A) Proud of your student,
  (B) Looking at the early season schedule and updating resume,
  (C) Undercutting Grantham by telling Phil he took the last cup of coffee and didn't brew a new one.
Rich: (c)
John: B
Rich: Unquestionably.
Barry: I think both answers are acceptable.
John: And i told, you, no RAC questions.

3. Predict how long Brady Quinn will hold out:
  (A) Not at all,
  (B) Two days,
  (C) One week,
  (D) Two or more weeks,
  (E) Until Romeo Crennel says "I really like that #3. I think he could start all year".

John: Is it really a Lightning Round when the questions are longer than a Tolstoy novel? Just curious.
Barry: Questions can be long, it's the answers that need to be short. There's also a "no complaining" rule in effect.
John: lmao
Rich: (D)
John: Between C and D
Rich: Is that a week and a half?
John: Between a week and two weeks
Barry: Keep in mind that all answers are recorded and used to torment you later.
Rich: That's a week and a half
John: No, it's between 8 and 13 days
Rich: Are you trying to frighten us? Well, it won't work.

Barry: 4. What's the least likely thing you'll see in the Browns new Family Fun Zone?
  (A) Stripper's pole
  (B) Beer-loving webmasters
  (C) Family fun
  (D) Pac-man Jones

John: LMAO, that's a good one Barry
John: B, hands down
Rich: (B)
Barry: That's true. I will never be there.
Rich: Gotta agree with ya on that one, John.
Barry: And the final question...
John: Thanks Rich. You just made my day.
Barry: (applause)
Rich: Can I change my mind?
John: (/sarcasm)
Rich: (DITTO)

Barry: 5. Tonight's question quality:
  (A) Alright, given that there's no news,
  (B) There's no excuse for two questions mentioning the Family Fun Zone,
  (C) Horrible, considering that this very question is clearly padding by a lazy, befuddled webmaster.
John: D
Barry: Wuss
Barry: It's OK to insult the webmaster. This is Death Chat after all.
Rich: (E)
John: Damn, and I was gonna go with "T" or "W"
John: Rich got that question right

Alright, that's it. I think I will let the Tap Room guys try their hand at lightning round questions next time.
John: There ya go.
Rich: Can we start a DEATH CHAT chant?
John: If you want us all to leave Rich, then go ahead
Rich: Where would I go?
Barry: Fred shut down his power rather than be here.
Barry: Anything else? Next Wednesday is 7/4, so i think we can skip next weeks and pick it up on 7/11.
John: I'll be inebriated, so it might make for an interesting chat
Rich: Sure 'nuf. Happy U.S. birthday, guys.

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