Fan Commentary Forum!"> Fan Commentary Forum!">

Ask Tommy!

Tommy Stiletto returns with a column written slightly before Sunday's debacle in Tampa Bay. It's time again for everyone's favorite feature - Ask Tommy! Prepare to be filled with wisdom and enlightenment.<BR><BR>Mouth off to Tommy in the <A HREF="http://citadel2.ezboard.com/fbrownsinsiderfrm34">Fan Commentary Forum!</A>

Once again, it's time for your favorite feature and mine, Ask Tommy!

OK, I admit it, I'm fresh out of column ideas and this is a cheap and easy way to spout off without thinking too hard. So sue me.


Dear Tommy,

Wow, we're already more than a quarter of the way through the season. Who are the leading candidates so far for the coveted Bonehead of the Year Award?
-
Mr. Richard Fader, Ft. Lee, N.J.


Gentle Reader,

Yikes, so many candidates. How about Gus Frerotte and Tom Tupa, who were born right-handed, grew up right-handed, played QB in college right-handed, played QB in the NFL right-handed, then each lost a game by throwing a left-handed pass under pressure?

Or what about Brian Griese, the Denver quarterback who fell down teammate Terrell Owens' driveway last summer, then fell again this season when he tripped over his dog? Yeah, right.

And who can forget our very own Dwayne Rudd, who handed a season-opening victory to the Chiefs by taking off his helmet before the whistle had sounded? No, I'm still not ready to let that one go.

But the early-season leader for the Bonehead Award has to be Vikings receiver Randy Moss. Vikings coach Mike Tice came out at the beginning of the year and announced to the whole league that the team was going to throw the ball to Moss 40 percent of the time. Unfortunately, Tice never told Moss to actually try to catch the passes thrown his way. Moss has been dogging it all season, and the Vikings have been awful. And that was before he tried to run over a meter maid and got caught with a blunt in his car.

Frerotte, Tupa and Rudd may have cost their teams a game, but Moss is dragging the Vikings' whole season into the crapper with him.


Dear Tommy,

Does Art Modell deserve to be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame?
-
O. Newsome, Baltimore

Gentle Reader,

When pigs fly. The Hall is for legends, and Art tarnished his legend forever when he took the money and ran. The man did wonders for the game, the league, the Browns and the city of Cleveland and deserves a tip of the hat. But the Hall? No way. Besides, the Hall's in Northeast Ohio; Art wouldn't even show up.

But then again, Halls of Fame in Northeast Ohio do strange things. Take the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, for instance. Bonnie Raitt and James Taylor are in, but Bob Seger and Alice Cooper aren't? Hey, I like Bonnie Raitt as much as the next guy (just love a woman who can play slide guitar and growl), but she's about as Hall-worthy as Modell.


Dear Tommy,

Is William Green a bust?
-
B. Gay, Indy

Gentle Reader,

A little early to say, but he does look awfully tentative, doesn't he? It's a bad sign when your first-round draft choice is being outplayed by some guy from South Dakota. Let this be a lesson to all you young punks who think you've got what it takes to play in this league – missing training camp due to a contract holdout is always a bad idea.

What Green needs is to bust a big play and get his confidence up. But Jamel White is playing his butt off and Butch Davis still wants to win, so Green's not getting his hands on the ball. The guy's obviously got talent, but the Browns can't afford to sit around and wait for it to develop. Green could still come around and be Rookie of the Year, but at the rate he's going, it might be a good idea to think about sending him to Amsterdam this summer for a little hands-on action.


Dear Tommy,

That ugly Baltimore game brings to mind a question that's been bugging me for years: Is it more painful to mount an amazing comeback and come up short, or to just get your butt kicked outright?
-
B. Sipe, Arizona

Gentle Reader,

Neither. But if you've got to lose, there's something to be said for a good butt-whoopin'. Getting humiliated by your arch-enemy on national television has a way of pissing players off, and angry players are the guys I want on my team.

A big rally can be a wonderful thing, but what do you really learn from it if you fall short? It's nice to learn that you've got what it takes to come back from a big hole, but doesn't that just make you doubt yourselves more? Doesn't a rally make you forget how poorly you played for the first three quarters and forget all the valuable lessons you should have learned about blown coverages and missed pass routes and sloppy tackling and stupid penalties?

Given the choice, I'll take the butt-whoopin' every time. Makes you stronger the next week.


Dear Tommy,

Do the Browns have a quarterback controversy?
- E. Grbac, Nowhereinparticular

Gentle Reader,

With Kelly Holcomb out with a busted leg, the question is now moot. But I always looked at it like this.

Suppose you've got two cars in the garage. One is a fancy sports car that you bought new. It's fast and shiny and has seats of fine Corinthean leather, but it doesn't always run so well. In fact, some days it runs like crap, and it spends an awful lot of time in the shop.

The other car is an '84 Escort that you bought used from a buddy for 200 bucks. Not much to look at, but it runs really, really well. Last year, somebody won the Indy 500 with one just like it.

Now which one are you gonna dr


The OBR Top Stories