OBR News-o-Rama: 11/27 PM

You said: "Sure, whatever your name is... the OBR News-o-Rama is, you know, almost okay. Maybe." Then we said: "Are you going to finish that beer?". And then you said: "Yes" and you hit our reaching hands. Then you said, "Could you add more pointless drivel to it?". And we said, "Alright", because we're like that. More stories like this inside!

According to the Collective Bargaining Agreement between the NFL and the NFL Players Association, each team's athletes "will be given every Tuesday off to attend to personal matters"*.

According to the Collective Bargaining Agreement between Scout.com websites and the International Federation of Webdorks, "It's Tuesday, and you'll sit at your computer, spew your drivel, and like it, bub".

Fine, fine, fine. Beats workin'.

Plus, I have to give the local Browns writers story ideas. They pan through the News-o-Rama drivel looking for the occasional drop of wisdom like a 49er panning the Ohio River for gold nuggets. And about as successfully.

At the very least, it's clear that Tony Grossi reads the OBR News-o-Rama, because about five hours after I spewed old memories about how Butch Davis was infatuated with Sean Taylor, Grossi goes and writes an article about it. See, I said it in once sentence and Grossi has to pad his with "quotes", "facts" and such nonsense. I get +1 for economy of wording. Grossi gets +5 for having a real job.

Elsewhere on the newswire (rss) this afternoon, there are some of those Power Polls (already documented as the "easiest articles to write, ever").

Yahoo (Cole): Browns stay at #7
Yahoo (Robinson): Browns go to #7 from #8
Sporting News (Dillon): Browns go to #9 from #10
CBS (Prisco): Browns go to #7 from #8

Folks in the Watercooler have a bunch more they've collected.

By the way, Robinson, I still remember your column where you said it was a "done deal" that the Browns were going to take Broderick Bunkley in the 2006 draft. I mean, it's okay to take a shot in the dark sometimes, but if you're cocky about it, you get nerds making fun of you for it one-and-a-half years later. Neener, neener.

Lastly, the media packet for this weekend's game at Arizona has been uploaded to the Muni Lot.

* Or something like that. You think I'm actually going to read the CBA to find out? It's boring and legalese gives me a headache.

YOUR SPONSOR PATRONAGE VOTE COUNTS

It's time for the NFL to grab more internet ad views by playing off fans pride in their teams.

I once asked if we could put these polls on independent sites as long as they fed into the NFL's official tallies. The answer, of course, was "no", because the NFL is more interested in getting people to look at Fed Ex and Pepsi ads than to increase involvement in these things. Then I said "Sheesh, fine. Whatever, ya know, no biggie. Stop looking at me like that. I'll find my way out myself, thanks. Don't be so grabby. No, I won't want to be flung out the... ouch."

The Browns have two players up for (CORPORATION)(THING) of the (WEEK/MONTH/YEAR) awards this week.

To vote for Jamal Lewis as (FED EX)(GROUND PLAYER) of the (WEEK): CLICK HERE

His competition is Frank Gore (cough *stiff* cough) and Justin Fargas (named after a cartoon teacher on Family Guy). If either of those two guys won, it would be an injustice. (Discuss)

To vote for Brandon McDonald as (DIET PEPSI)(ROOKIE) of the (WEEK): CLICK HERE

I didn't even bother to see who his competition is. They all stink, I'm sure. Go vote for Brandon, so he wins a free cell phone or whatever. He'd vote for you. (Discuss)

By the way, when you go to that DIET PEPSI thing, there's an ad at the top which talks about a "Diet Pepsi Mix". If I was more suspicious, I might think they're trying to plant the suggestion that you should mix Diet Pepsi with booze. They want you to mix it with rum, gin, vodka or something, I guess. Unfortunately, as an experienced drunk guy, I know that the only thing that really goes well with booze is more booze. And vomiting, headaches, and the occasional arrest. Oh, and vague memories of hurling goats at passing cars. Perhaps that's just me. I digress. Vote for these things, if you want.

 

BROWNS PLAYERS TALK ABOUT SEAN TAYLOR

Some quotes released by the team today. There's nothing remotely funny about this.

TE Kellen Winslow on the death of Sean Taylor:

"My thoughts and prayers go out to Sean Taylor's family," said Winslow. "The University of Miami is one big family and we lost a brother today.  Sean and I had a special bond. We came in to college together, we left for the NFL the same year and were drafted right next to each other.  Sean's future was taken away from him by a senseless act of violence. I am at a loss for words to describe the pain I feel for Sean and his family right now."

QB Ken Dorsey on the death of Sean Taylor:

"I am deeply saddened by the loss of my friend and former teammate, Sean Taylor.  Sean was an intense competitor and a great teammate at the University of Miami.  My thoughts and prayers go out to his family and loved ones."

 

 

 


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