Fan View: This One's a YAWNER

Jeff Biletnikoff finds that not even Jolt Cola, Red Bull, or Speedway Shockwave Coffee can help when recapping the Browns sluggish 20-12 over the hapless Bengals...

Every time I did this article in my head, it nearly made me fall asleep, so I thought:

"Why not give the readers some *YAWNS* at the end of every one of my points?

Here we go.

-The Browns got their first win of the season today

*YAWN*

-They did it against the winless Bengals. What a blowout too! The Browns really belong with the elite as they forced Cincinnati into the impossible situation of having to get a TD and a 2 point conversion to send the game into overtime.

*YAWN*

-Braylon Edwards had a TD today!

*YAWN*

-He celebrated!

*PATHETIC*

(Sorry..had to break the *YAWN* streak there....earth to Braylon...you have produced nada this season on an 0-3 team that's never been to the playoffs with you as #1 receiver. Sorry, they're 1-3 now.....can we actually call them .5 and 3? I don't think beating the hapless Bengals should count as a full win).

-Derek Anderson got a TD today!

*YAWN*

-The defense held the mighty Ryan Fitzpatrick in check today. You don't know who he is? He played for Harvard. Come on. That school is Quarterback U. just like Penn State is Linebacker U. It's not? It should be.

*YAWN*

Romeo gets to keep his job another week. Wait, another 2 weeks since they're on a bye next week!

*YAWN*

Overall another PATHETIC and PUTRID performance from the Browns. Thank God Cincinnati is 8 points more PATHETIC and PUTRID.

I still haven't changed my stance.

Romeo must go.

Phil Savage must go.

Bill Cowher needs to lead this team for it to ever have a chance of not invoking Rip Van Winkle type sleep among its shell-shocked fans.

 


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