In my bathroom, I have a mural of Dwayne Rudd removing his helmet, Tim Couch crying, Kellen Winslow Jr. flying off a motorcycle, and Chris Palmer driving a runaway train while Braylon Edwards drops a perfect pass.
When I am seated, I can see the mural perfectly and thus I create symbiosis between action and vision. So, sure, I understand the importance of a Cleveland Browns mural.
But frankly, I think Eric Mangini is being unfairly judged on his decorating skills. And I think everyone should cut him some slack.
First of all, he's undefeated.
Second, although basking in the warm glow of pretty pictures from the Eisenhower era is nice, I am more interested in the new mural that Mangini plans to paint in my brain. Or more specifically, I am hoping he isn't auditioning for my bathroom wall mural.
Only in Cleveland, do the football beat writers and half the fan base moonlight as art critics. Somehow a mural became a respect issue and therefore Eric Mangini didn't respect the tradition of the Cleveland Browns? Do I have that right?
How did the mural help last year?
I hate to break it to some of you, but tradition up and moved to Baltimore a long time ago.
This version of the Cleveland Browns tradition is on my bathroom wall. And I really don't care if Eric Mangini puts a picture of Bozo the Clown on the wall. In fact, I think I'd prefer it. Those players don't deserve to think about Jim Brown.
So if he replaces the mural, moves the mural or puts up Bozo the Clown instead of Jim Brown, it doesn't matter. What matters is what will eventually happen on the field and as best as I can tell, Eric Mangini gives the Cleveland Browns a chance to win better than any other coach.
This is because he has the job.
And don't forget, he's undefeated, hasn't misread the clock, had a panic attack, or cut Bernie Kosar… as if Bernie is on this team!
The new coach has moved some artwork or painted over it or perhaps he moved the orchestra pit. I can't exactly remember the controversy other than someone way too stylish with a French accent had a comment about the transcendent spiritual feng shui energy that was missing.
Anyway, I hope the hyperventilating is over. I mean, there is only so much angst an entire city can exude, isn't there?
Plus, as a friend recently pointed out to me, at least Randy Lerner didn't lay off the mural movers.
And so if murals are so darn important, maybe some of the current Browns can learn to pose for one… you know, in the End Zone at the next Super Bowl.