today's newswire."> today's newswire.">

If it's Thursday, It must be Barcelona

There are occasional moments when you have to wonder what you're doing with your life. Jay Taylor (pictured) undoubtedly went through some while wearing a helmet that had a yellow guy with some sort of pituitary gland condition on it. You can click the title of this article and be subjected to more of my nattering, or simply bypass the annoyance and go straight to <A HREF="http://www.brownstng.com/browns/news/btng_newswire.asp">today's newswire</A>.

The Browns have allocated four players to NFL Europe, which means that they get to spend the Spring and Summer figuring out how to drive on the other side of the car and how to come up with conversation topics with women named "Elsa" while knowing ten words in the native tongue. Good luck, guys.

The flinging of development prospects to another continent compelled me to update the player profiles for these folks, which you can find by clicking on the following links for Chad Mustard, Kalvin Pearson, Dimitrius Breedlove, and Jay Taylor. We'll try to update these as the Browns players go through their seasons across the Atlantic.

While Jay Taylor, as noted above, might have had some introspective moments in the past two years, it was spending a half-hour trying to find a photo of Dimitrius Breedlove that led me to mine. I couldn't find a photo of Dimitrius anywhere, which means that I have failed to provide a full profile of a Browns player. Internet sites, due to our inherent evil, aren't allowed to use the Official NFL Headshots like you see just about everywhere else, so I can't even fall back to that. I think it's due to a justifiable concern that we'll sell the headshots to the North Koreans in exchange for weapons of mass destruction or Scud missiles. I know I would.

So, there's no picture of Dimitrius on his updated player profile. You'll have to imagine a tall, thin, fast person wearing a football uniform.

In a strange accident of attempting to be useful, we've provided links to the NFL Europe sites for the assigned players. Interestingly, most of them (Barcelona, for example) haven't done an English version of their sites yet. I noticed, however, that the cheerleader areas of the sites are usually pretty easy to find and don't require a lot of translation. Fortunately, the common Latin roots of European languages means that even webmasters can figure out what "Fotos gallerias" might be.

Write me if you wanna, and tell me that there's more to life than finding action shots of Dimitrius Breedlove. Have a great day, dawgs.

-


The OBR Top Stories

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The Browns have allocated four players to NFL Europe, which means that they get to spend the Spring and Summer figuring out how to drive on the other side of the car and how to come up with conversation topics with women named \"Elsa\" while knowing ten words in the native tongue. Good luck, guys.

The flinging of development prospects to another continent compelled me to update the player profiles for these folks, which you can find by clicking on the following links for Chad Mustard, Kalvin Pearson, Dimitrius Breedlove, and Jay Taylor. We'll try to update these as the Browns players go through their seasons across the Atlantic.

While Jay Taylor, as noted above, might have had some introspective moments in the past two years, it was spending a half-hour trying to find a photo of Dimitrius Breedlove that led me to mine. I couldn't find a photo of Dimitrius anywhere, which means that I have failed to provide a full profile of a Browns player. Internet sites, due to our inherent evil, aren't allowed to use the Official NFL Headshots like you see just about everywhere else, so I can't even fall back to that. I think it's due to a justifiable concern that we'll sell the headshots to the North Koreans in exchange for weapons of mass destruction or Scud missiles. I know I would.

So, there's no picture of Dimitrius on his updated player profile. You'll have to imagine a tall, thin, fast person wearing a football uniform.

In a strange accident of attempting to be useful, we've provided links to the NFL Europe sites for the assigned players. Interestingly, most of them (Barcelona, for example) haven't done an English version of their sites yet. I noticed, however, that the cheerleader areas of the sites are usually pretty easy to find and don't require a lot of translation. Fortunately, the common Latin roots of European languages means that even webmasters can figure out what \"Fotos gallerias\" might be.

Write me if you wanna, and tell me that there's more to life than finding action shots of Dimitrius Breedlove. Have a great day, dawgs.

-

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