Welcome To My Nightmare...

The 0-5 San Diego Chargers visit the 3-3 Cleveland Browns this Sunday. <br><br> As a Charger fan, I have been having the same recurring nightmares. This is this week's nightmare...

First Quarter: Browns get their anemic Offense untracked by running for 60 yards on 3rd & long.

William Green has over 100 yards by the end of the quarter on 3 carries.

Second Quarter: Down 10-0, Marty Schottenheimer abandons the run & passes on 2nd & 1, 3rd & 1, and 4th & 1.

After three consecutive touchback punts originating from inside the Cleveland 40, Marty risks a 54 yard FG try just before the half...

Steve Christie's low line drive is blocked and returned for a TD past a Charger team too stunned to attempt to stop it.

Third Quarter: A Browns fan has too much to drink and sneaks into the locker room.

He dons a uniform and is mistakenly sent into the game after Green reaches 300 yards rushing with over 5 minutes remaining in the third quarter.

He breaks loose before the quarter ends for a 70 yard TD run, and celebrates in the end zone by unscrewing his wooden leg and swinging it over his head, before throwing up.

His drinking buddy wins his fantasy league pool for the week.

Fourth Quarter: Late in the game and down by 24, the Chargers give up on the pass, and run LaDainian Tomlinson for 120 yards and 2 TDs.

LaDainian is injured with only seconds to play, and is lost for the year.

Final score: 24-14 Cleveland.

Marty begins his post game press conference with some vague story about Gazelles being chased by Lions in Africa.

Nobody really knows what the hell he is talking about, including Marty.

A nurse comes in and tells everybody to get out. Visiting time is over.

What does it all mean?

Gary Molyneux can be reached at drmesmetism@aol.com

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