The Justice Files

The cable just came yesterday, so the JUSTICE IS COMING: Long Island Bureau is up and running at long last. Now if I can only find a good bar to watch the games. Sadly, my digs for the next year will not allow me to fulfill my boyhood dream of getting a satellite dish. 2006, however, should be the year when I finally build the "Charger Panic Room" that my wife suggested.

This way, all the posters, autographed pictures, plaques, pennants, bobbleheads and action figures will be in one place. In addition to NFL Sunday Ticket, there will be a cot for those nights when I am too distraught to be around others.

I also invented the idea of a "taco slot" where Sam can slide my meals to me when I am in one of those aforementioned moods. I also assume this is where I will be sent to on the rare occasion that I want to watch "The Gathering Storm: The Story Of The 1991 Chargers."

Before ESPN Classic and the NFL Network, I had to go to every East Village record shop to find the riveting account of that 4-12 team.

The rumors of Terrell Owens being shipped to Oakland have died down this week. The idea of him and The Creeper playing wideout for the Traitors almost inspires too much hatred to handle. It would be like when Dennis Rodman joined the Bulls.

You have to respect how the Eagles have handled Owens. After he started his not-so-subtle campaign that McNabb was the reason that Philly couldn't finish off the Patriots, the Eagles have essentially ignored him. Even though their receiving corps from the previous three seasons couldn't get them past the NFC title game, they still won't cower to Owens' demands. Who knows, maybe they could win the conference again without him. Maybe they would actually step up this time. No matter what, A.J. Smith must admire the Eagles' resolve.

Philadelphia, of course, is one of four East Coast cities that the Bolts will visit this season. Sammy won't go back there to watch a game and I can't blame her. Even if you stay silent for four quarters, those dirtbags will hunt you down if you even have the smallest lightning bolt on your person. It's no coincidence that it's the first city that needed to have a "kangaroo court" inside the stadium.

I went to the 1995 game, and thought it was only slightly worse than Pittsburgh during the AFC Championship game. But our trip to the 2001 game was a nightmare. It was freezing on our side of the stadium, the Bolts got lucky on a Flutie touchdown that was almost intercepted and LaDainian Tomlinson not only fumbled but had to run the length of the field to try to prevent a score. The only way my buddy Squirrel, an Eagles fan and Philly native, will go to the game with me in Sam's place would be if I promise not to wear any Charger gear whatsoever.

This would be where my series of "Raiders Suck" shirts and ski hat might come in handy. I could go undercover.

Similarly, I haven't missed a Charger game in Foxboro since 1994. The last time I was up there was also in 2001. Watching Tom Brady begin his ascent to immortality at the expense of Tay Cody was no treat on that Sunday. I know I'm going to the games in East Rutherford and Washington.

Do I need to put myself through two additional days of being heckled? Am I growing up or just in need of a thicker skin? On my last Saturday night in The City I saw the guy who owns the Oakland spare tire cover I took the picture of. I wonder if he knows the photo is floating in cyberspace.

Anyway, I have to move. I'm going in to Manhattan to meet my crew and try to assure them I'm not going to change into some suburban lame-o. I can only take so many jokes about The Olive Garden before I snap.

The Stones' "Indian Girl," off Emotional Rescue, just came on the iPod. Mick is telling "Mr. Gringo" that his father is not some Che Guevara. It's actually an underrated song on a largely-dismissed album. Maybe I'll check out this photo exhibit in SoHo on the agave fields of the Partida tequila family. That reminds me, I think it's time for a margarita.

"The Justice Files" will return on its normal day, Friday, now that I'm all settled in.

Until next time,


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