For a team that hasn’t won a playoff game since Miley Cyrus was a 1-year-old flashing other toddlers, Kansas City Chiefs fans sure are … cheerful.
And here’s the wacky part: It’s been scientifically proven, apparently. That is, if you want to consider Facebook “scientific.”
The social networking giant recently released the results of a study that attempted to interpret relative fan hopefulness. It’s all based on posts and comments from users identifying themselves as fans of said team featured on the site during the preseason.
Least optimistic base: The San Diego Chargers.
The most: Chiefs.
See? All it took was a few touchdown passes to a wide receiver, and — boom! — everybody’s piling back onto the happy wagon again.
Also: Facebook is reading your comments! And analyzing them! And … well, anyway, that’s a privacy discussion for another day.
Let’s circle back to the good news, or at least the Kansas City portion of it. Because that sunshine is going to get tested, kids. Right outta the chute.
Without star cornerback Sean Smith (thanks, light pole!), the Chiefs get tossed into the cage with DeAndre Hopkins (Week 1 at Houston); Peyton Manning and his Soul-Crushing Voodoo Chiefs Curse (Week 2 versus Denver); and Aaron Rodgers, who’s dating an X-Man (Week 3 at Green Bay, and the mutant in question is Psylocke). Not fun.
And with trips to Cincinnati (Week 4) and Minnesota (Week 6) and home dates with Chicago (Week 5) and Pittsburgh (Week 7) looming after that, even the giddiest optimist is going to damn well hesitate before wagering on a 7-0 start.
Although let’s face it: With four of the last six at Arrowhead Stadium, and two of those six involving Oakland, the closing kick sets up, on paper, to be fairly kind.
Any momentum on the front end? Gravy.
Oh, we get the optimism. Hell, we dig the optimism. Justin Houston is signed, sealed and delivered. Eric Berry is healthy, blessed, and cleared to suit up. Jamaal Charles likes his offensive line again. The preseason gap between Jeremy Maclin and Dwayne Bowe has pundits whispering that the foibles of the Chiefs’ 2014 passing game might’ve had more to do with the latter and less to do with the usual piling on toward quarterback Alex Smith.
But remember this, too: The world doesn’t stop spinning at 0-1.
Or even 0-3.
OK, OK, OK, oh-for-the-first-five, maybe. But it’s hard to conceive this buggy finding that much ditch unless Maclin and Travis Kelce somehow wind up getting eaten by a pack of wolves or kidnapped by extraterrestrials.
Either way, don’t let a beast of a front nine ruin a good day on the course. In the right wind, optimism is contagious. Then again, so’s whooping cough.