Take A Walk On The Wild Side

ColtPower columnist Al Uhrich brings his whacky view of the world and his beloved Colts to the fans of ColtPower from north of the border. If you're ready for a good laugh, give his column a look....eh?

Greetings, my cyber-nerd companions!!

After a lengthy and unavoidable hiatus, I have had my first opportunity to check out the new site and see what's happening in matters of ColtPower and the Colts!

Hmmm. Not much.

Ahem....well, yes –- it is still the post-draft, pre-preseason dead zone. What the devil was I expecting?

That is -- I thought -- not much, until I tuned in to FOX for the latest bit of real-life policing drama: COPS in COLTLAND!

But first...

When last we spoke, I was prepping to jet off to Italy on a cycling trip. The trip was as close to perfect as could be -- gruelling but spectacular climbs, 80 km/hr descents (how often do you get to PASS cars riding a bike downhill?!), plenty of vino and brownpops at the hotel, and one particularly stunning bit of eye-candy on the trip who could ride like the wind.

I was instantly smitten.

Naturally, she will have nothing to do with me. But I pursue her still nonetheless!!

But enough of that! What else made the trip near perfect? The hotel had a computer with internet access!! So each night of the draft, at about 1 a.m. in Italy, I was logging on to check out our picks. How much of an IDIOT am I, with wakeup and 5 – 6 hours of riding a few scant hours away!!!!!

I could only imagine what the comments at ColtPower were regarding our selections (having forgotten how to access the forums! D'OH!!).

With all the talk -- both before AND after the draft -- for the Colts defense to get "tougher", they go cornerback.....1, 2, and then a guy named...."Sweet Pea"???

Now let's back it up. I am a huge homer, as all who've read my past rants will attest to – and I believe Wild Bill Polian's Draft Day decisions to be topnotch.

I LOVED the pick of Marlin "Perkins" Jackson. I laughed at the second pick, only because I had no doubt that I was amongst the majority who had NO IDEA who this guy Kelvin Hayden was.

And then…SWEET PEA?

The after-draft talk, all about "getting tougher" -– that's great talk. But I was thinking to myself, if you want to get tougher, would you prefer some LINEBACKERS and maybe a LARGE defensive lineman? OR do you want your cornerbacks doing all your "tough guy" stuff?

Good gravy, have you looked at the Colts' linebacker situation?!

Am I the only one a tad PETRIFIED with the current predicament at the position?!

HOWEVER...before last year, I had very similar concerns with the D-Line, and they ended up playing significantly better than the year before. So time will tell.

Jackson will no doubt be a hitter at corner. And perhaps Sweet Pea will prove himself to be one tough dude -- another example of the scientific, "Boy Named Sue" theory first proposed by the late Doctor Johnathan Cash!

But having Gary Brackett sandwiched between David Thornton and Cato June is not going to create fear in the hearts of any 2005 opponents, my friends!! So cross those cyber-digits, we need some divine intervention at LB!!

ON THAT NOTE –- I did manage a brief audience with the new Catholic Kingpin, Pope Benedict. "Eggs" to his chums. He like the Colts' chances this year. Keep that under your hats. Don't want to set Vegas off.

With the draft over, the trip wound up (too) quickly and then it was back to Toronto. I then found out about a minor family emergency which had me jetting off to the home-soil of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia for 2 weeks.

Upon return, I immediately had to attend a 10-day work course out of town. So tonight I get back, -- and getting to peruse the site for the first time in a month -- discover that the team is going rather mental, or turnin' "Dallas Cowboy," if you would!

What exactly was Mike Doss thinking?

And when/if he gets to hit the field this year, how about this for a dynamite safety tandem: Bob "Butch" Sanders and The Ohio State Kid!

And what about Dominic "Dusty" Rhodes and that impromptu, "toss the salad" bit executed by the missus in some family eatery?

And Marlin Jackson getting sued by Shahin "I'd Like To Buy A Vowel" Farokhany for allegedly attempting to use his head as a bottle opener two years ago.

Did I miss anything on the rapsheet scene?

Anyway, my head was spinning, so faster than you can say, "Ronald Mexico" I dove into the forums to see some familiar names and check out some posts. Familiarity can be very soothing.

Good to see some of the old gang here, even in the dogdays.

One thread that caught my eye was a rumoured trade involving the Vikings.

Edgerrin for Michael Bennett? Great move!

Of course, I also thought the Indians scored huge when they got those nifty glass beads and a pot for Manhattan.

Sure real estate is huge. But beads are SHINY!

That is all for now.

Good day to you.


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