12th Man's Power Poll

Richard Garrett provides his weekly Power Poll based on his own unique formula, which has provided some oddly accurate results in the past! He then delivers it to fans with his down-to-earth sense of humor, making this Power Poll the one to follow throughout the year!

12th Man's Power Poll is different from any of your national power rankings. I don't look at records, opponents, injuries or any personal bias I might have. I take seven criteria on the offense and seven on the defense and give each team a numerical grade. I add the two together to get the overall ranking. With only one game to look at, the rankings will be a little -- well maybe a lot -- skewed. I expect things to start shaping up after week 4 based on my formula.

This week the top offensive team was, SURPRISE, the NEW YAWK Giants. They were efficient in the redzone and ran for miles. It will not surprise me to see Eli and Company go deep into the playoffs.

The Baltimore Jailbirds were the best of the defenses. I really hope these guys aren't as good as they looked on Sunday. Methinks old man McNair will end up injured and will miss some starts.

Even though I'm a Colts fan, you'll notice that the Colts are not at the top of this list. And they're not even in the top half. I believe they might have played the best team in the NFC last week and managed to survive to get a win. That doesn't move them any higher in this poll. But a game against the Texicans might just rocket them up for next week. 

So, complain all you want. I'm just the messenger telling you how things stack up after one game. But watch this poll, it will find you some gems as the season progresses.

1. San Diego Chargers – Funny how the best team in this poll played the worst team. Expect to see them stay on top with the "Mighty Titans" up next.

2. Baltimore Jailbirds – Did McNair really make them that much better? Is Tampa Bay really that bad? I'm seeing a pattern here of best team vs. worst team.

3. Philadelphia Iggles – Did you really expect the Texicans to give them a game? Let's see what happens after next week.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars - Folks, the Colts have a little competition in the South this year. The Steelers will tell us if the Jags are for real. 

5. Atlanta Falcons – Uuuuum, that Michael Vick is a player.

6. Phoenix Cardinals – A phoenix is a bird that rises from the ashes. And I will tell you that there is a HUGE pile of ashes in Arizona for that bird to rise out of.

7. New Yawk Giants – WHAT? They lost. How can they be ranked so high? They did all the right things on both sides of the ball. The Giants could well be the best team in the NFC.

8. New England PatriOTTs – They beat a weak Bills team by the skin of their teeth. I'm just going to step out on a limb here and say the OTTs don't make the playoffs.

9. Minnesota Vikes - Brad Johnson can still play and that Chester Taylor can run the Ball. It's funny, but the NFC North is looking pretty strong outside of Wisconsin.

10. Chicago Bears – What? Nobody questions me when I put the Bears in the top 10. Hmmmm? That's not what you were saying last year.

11. New Orleans Saints - WOW! I think the Dolphins are going to be sorry they let Drew Brees get away. And I think Drew Brees is going to be sorry the Saints stole him from the Dolphins.

12. Cincinnati Bengals - Remember a few years back when Chad Johnson and Carson Palmer came over on Monday night to watch Peyton and Marvin? I think they stole the WHOLE game plan.

13. Denver Broncos - Broncs seem to start slow every year. But I see a QB controversy coming and Tennessee wishing they had some Cutlery instead of Young stuff.

14. New Yawk Jest – Tennessee didn't think they were funny. QB controversy? Not with the way Chad Pennington played this weekend.

15. Pittsburgh Steelers – Hopefully they can beat the Browns out of third place in the division.

16. Seattle Ospreys – There is no such animal as a Seahawk, and that was proven by their no-show in Detroit. A win is a win, I guess.

17. Detroit Lions – Where did that Defense come from? They made the mighty Ospreys look like a J.V. Squad.

18. Miami Dol-fins - I am really expecting these guys to win the division this year. But that new QB better step up. 

19. Saint Louie Rams – What can I say? They've got the Arch. It's shaped like a goal post except it's connected in the middle. So, BOOM, you just kick the ball under the top cause you're not going to kick it over the top...Why didn't NBC take the opportunity to get rid of John Madden? Needless suffering continues.

20. Tennessee Titans – Well, a weak Jest team puts the Titans this high. It is entirely possible that the Titans will have the first pick in the 2007 Draft and will pick a QB.

21. Kansas City Chefs – I am really, really glad to know that Trent Green will be able to walk again. And for those of you who took Larry Johnson with the first pick in your fantasy draft...

22. Cleveland Brownies - I had high hopes for the Brownies this year. But they are still a year away. Charlie Frye is going to be a good QB in the near future. Remember Peyton's first year. 

23. Washington Redskins – You would think that their billionaire owner would realize that bringing in high-priced Veterans does not work. What is this; about the 6th time he's tried it?

24. Buffalo Bills – J.P. "Lossman" blew that game for them. Maybe they should get a QB with Win in his name.

25. Indianapolis Colts – Yes, they stunk that badly. The win was great, but the Colts misfired in the red zone on both sides of the ball. Do I really think there are 24 teams better than the Colts? NO, but this poll is about how the team played. And the stats show 25.

26. San Fran 49ers – I'm glad I picked up Frank Gore for my fantasy team. But these guys are still not a very good team.

27. Green Bay Packers – It really stinks to see Brett Favre end his career with such a pathetic team.

28. Dal-lass Cowboys - First it's T.O. Now it looks like there are QB problems. You Dal-lass haters out there are in for another good year.

29. Houston Texicans – There is a stench coming out of Houston and it's not the manufacturing plants. I just hope the Colts don't fall into this trap game between the Giants and Jags.

30. Carolina Panthers – Is Steve Smith really that much of the team? I think they climb up the polls next week.

31. Tampa Bay Bucs – So, it WAS Tony Dungy's team that won that Super Bowl.

32. Oakland Raiders – PATHETIC! I expect the Raiders to give the Titans a pretty good fight for first pick in the 2007 Draft.

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