Should Dallas have won, 24-20, as the scoreboard reads, because of Terry Glenn's end-zone tippy-toeing with 24 seconds left in Carolina?
Or does Bill really want to wrestle with all the "oughtas''?
Parcells doesn't have this in him, but maybe he should just conduct the entirety of the rest of his press conferences this year with shoulders locked in permanent "I-dunno'' shrugs. Consider, as you weigh the contradictions of it all, his week-long pregame theme regarding the Cowboys' supposedly crippling excess of youth.
"We're too young to win,'' Parcells essentially repeated, over and over this week.
Really, Coach Contradiction? Then how come the two best Cowboys on the field on Christmas Eve day were defensive baby-face DeMarcus Ware, who responded to a week of "he-ain't-Merriman'' talk with a spectacular nine tackles, three sacks and three forced fumbles, and offensive baby-face Julius Jones, who reponded to "whatever-happened-to-Julius?'' talk by scoring two TDs and sprinting for 194 yards.
"We oughta be winning.'' Or should you have been, Coach Contradiction?
"You are what you are.'' Or are you, Coach Contradiction?
And then there is the retirement thing.
After the game, someone brought up the report that he was considering retirement. And Coach Contradiction does what he does best: He put people in their place by saying absolutely nothing -- but by doing so with great force.
"I don't know where these guys. ... you media guys. ... I don't know where that comes from,'' sputtered Bill.
Um, Bill, the "guy'' was ESPN's Chris Mortensen. You know damn well it was him. You know damn well who he is. Mort was your co-worker at ESPN when he helped arrange your job interview with Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, remember? Ol' Mort?
Where would Mort get the idea that you are experiencing some autumnal feelings about life? Geez, Bill, maybe from you. ... since he's one of the handful of reporters you confer with privately on a regular basis.
You can't make any sense of Coach Contradiction. You can't hold Coach Contradiction to a word he says.
You can't base anything sensible on the "oughtas'' of this Cowboys team, either. Which for one more week, was a very good thing.