Bringing It Home

My, my how things have changed. Not stop light, the progressionary green to yellow to red, change, but more like Hurricane Katrina impact. You know, here today, gone tomorrow. In the world known as the Dallas Cowboys, it happens at break neck speed, and it doesn't matter if it was last year, last game or last hour.

The only constant is change itself. If you came for a dose of stability, wrong place, wrong time. Here are a few examples to exemplify and amplify the current Valley Ranch happenings.

Terrell Owens (you do remember him, right?) was out locally pushing and peddling (an art he has perfected) his new children's book, "Lil "T" Learns to Share." Good stuff, and the only question remaining is when is it Big "T's" turn to the do the very same? Better yet, when is the edition of "Big T Learns to Catch" coming to stores and stadiums everywhere? Bring that bad boy to Dallas, fully implemented, and the Best Seller List can't be far behind. Lastly, another suggested topic might be "Terrell Learns the Proper Sequence." Its catch, score and dance. Not orchestrate choreography, practice in front of the mirror and locate the national stage. Basics first, and the spotlight is sure to follow.

If the Cowboys are going the Martin Hazmatica route, aren't there, or weren't there, more viable considerations? Suggestion #1 would have been scouring the Arena Football League corps of legs. Don't these guys have to put a football through the eye of a needle? Aren't the upright configurations conducive to dental floss usage? Sure, length of the field and average field goal length are shorter than NFL normality's, but these guys occasionally send one up from goal line to goal line. Hey, Arena League or a World Cup midfielder, it doesn't matter, but each has to be on par with the Cowboys' newest addition.

This conversation won't be turned into a "Why no Adam Vinatieri?" discussion, but what the hay, why not Adam Vinatieri? If you're tossing that much coin to the "most accurate kicker in NFL history (just ask him)," why not up anything Indy serves to the NFL's most "clutch" kicker in League history? If you're going big, then bring it all. Jerry is to be credited for trying something radical when it came to Cowboys' kickers, but he just happened to select the wrong head case. Oh well, stuff happens, and when it does, things change. So, what did Jerry have to cough up for Hazmatica? It couldn't have taken much more than a back room, dusty case of Jeri curl and a year membership to Toni & Guy.

Speaking of the guy, do you think Tony Romo is waiting to wake from this most pleasant of dreams? It must seem like a cross-ocean voyage going from Charleston, Illinois to a half-time interview with Bob Costas. The Cowboys Nation can only hope Jason Witten keeps an ample supply of pins, and large ones at that, in their hotel room. If that signal caller head starts to swell, it's high time to burst the bubble. Something feels like #82, and recipient of the golden arm, will keep things, to include Tony Romo's cranium and Broadway lights, in check.

Is there any better goal line insurance than Marion Barber? The man is money inside the five yard line. His determined style of play is most encouraging. This guy looks for the contact, delivers the blow and smells pay dirt. If others aren't feeding off his intensity, something is seriously wrong. If Tony Sparano and Anthony Lynn, you best be wearing out the rewind button on the film room projector remote. Hey MB III, after this meeting Jerry needs a wall removed in his office, care to run through it? Certainly no need for a contractor estimate with No. 24 around the complex. It'll never be recognized publicly, but Parcells has to be wetting himself to have this guy on the roster. Now, that's one hell of a 4th round Draft selection!

Did someone say Roy Williams couldn't cover a manhole? Well, maybe not the deep post or the streak/fly pattern, but he's still finding himself in the right place at the right time. Often referred to as Roberto Duran, Roy has shed a couple layers of the stone and developed some flypaper-like touch. He's making offenses pay in more ways than the "world of hurt" pain he often inflicts on the field of play. It's lead by example, and this year, in more ways than one. The man is a playmaker, and that was clearly evident in the Norman, Oklahoma days. He continues to raise his game in conjunction with his thievery, but the Nay Sayers will be back as soon as Roy makes his annual pilgrimage to Honolulu. The only positive to the Pro Bowl is coaches and players (peers) actually have a say in the voting. How the fan base looks at Roy is of no significant consequence.

No wonder all the Bill Parcells' replacement rumors always contain the mention of Jeff Fisher somewhere within. The man, and his team, owns the NFC East this year. Other than the Cowboys, the Titans have put the hammer to the other three Division occupants and also compiled the comeback of the year last week against the Giants. All of which leads to this ponderous thought, if the Tennessee Titans, with a rookie QB (albeit talented) at the helm have beaten the NFC East, just how good is the Division? Add to that the fact the Cowboys currently stand at 1-3 in Division ball heading into Sunday's tilt in the Meadowlands, and what is to be concluded? Either the Cowboys suck or the Titans should be on their way to post season success, right? Fortunately, neither is true, and this is why the movie was titled (On) "Any Given Sunday." You just never know what's going to happen within the world of watered-down parity.

Leading nicely into Sunday. The scribes and so-called expert NFL analysts (absolutely no offense to The Playmaker, Darren Woodson, Troy and Moose) would have you believing the New York Football Giants are headed for a T.V. reality show of their own. Probably a nice cross between M.A.S.H. and Desperate Housewives. Call it "Why Can't We All Get Along…and Healthy?" If you're hearing the news, radio or seeing it in the papers, think embellishment. Think ratings and subscriptions sales. There's ALWAYS less to the story than meets the eye and ear. Always. The communications media is 24/7 these days, and like a heroin addict, the sporting world needs its constant fix. Sad, but true, and the outlets are only too happy and anxious to serve up the vein stash.

If you believe the Giants won't mount everything they have come Sunday, at home, fighting for their proverbial lives, think again. Tom Coughlin's troops will come to play. With three straight losses, they have two choices. Come out swinging and give it everything they've got or revert to the self-fulfilling prophecy. They're already tabbed as a house of cards waiting for the implosion. Why not fulfill that pre-determined destiny? Because Coughlin won't let them. If you think this one is over before it even begins, think again. The Giants know they need this one win, and they're right back in it. People, its December. Beat the Cowboys and its back to prosperity and filling out Christmas wish lists. That is unless you're Philly or the Redskins, but then again, that's a sad story for another day.

Finally, before bidding a fond farewell, here's the ultimate in how quickly the NFL landscape changes. Remember recalling above, it's December? Click on Not unlike every retail website known to man, this time of the year generates more holiday specials and pop-ups than a Heidi Fleiss or Jena Jameson client list. Of special note is the NFL Shop ad, especially the jersey offers. The front page ad shows four NFL jerseys, your choice of authentic or replica. On hangers you'll see only the backs which contain the famed nameplates.

Care to render a guess on the four names being displayed on company/team colors? You over there. "Manning." Correct sir, please continue. "Tomlinson." Nicely done. And another? "Urlacher." Outstanding, and the fourth and final name? "Brees?" Nice guess, but no. "Tiki?" No. "LJ?" Not quite. "Ocho Cinco?" Nah. "Has to be Brady, right?" Close, but not quite. Give up? Tony Romo. Yes, Thee Tony Romo of instant fame and fortune. Again, let's go back and recap., the official site of the League, right? Right. The NFL Shop. The leading League marketing and sales source, correct? Exactly. Give us those four names again. Manning. Tomlinson. Urlacher. And the last guy? Tony Romo. You don't think the Dallas Cowboys sell? While the non-Cowboys world hates them, the League loves them! Especially when they're winning. Why? Because winning sells.

Happy shopping! Bring it home!

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