It Beats the Couch!

It would have been far too easy using this space to take pot shots at the beloved Cowboys. Especially, in the wake of their third straight home field meltdown: this one coming against the dare-it-be-said, 3-13 Detroit Lions.

Yup, the same club entering the contest at a stout 2-13, flirting with the rights to either Brady Quinn or JaMarcus Russell and 0-forever as a NFL road team. This team hadn't won a road game in what seemed to date back to the Nixon administration. Surely the silver and blue could have righted itself by thumping the lowly Lions before heading off to the select party of 12, right?

Yeah, right.

History. All history. Past tense. Wrinkled pages of yesterday comprised of fair, good, very good and you have to be kidding us performances. Forgotten. Acabar. There is an entire off season to debate the wows and woes of the 2006 Cowboys. For sure, there were no shortages of stories or headlines, and there will be many more in the days ahead.

Before venturing further, just read a feel-good story regarding the Dallas quarterback. You know the one, ol' #9, from overnight savior sensation to Anthony "the sandlot, fumbling and stumbling scapegoat" Romo. Come on folks, what did you really expect to happen as games mounted and time progressed? Breath deep. He'll be just fine. We'll recap his rise to literal stardom at a later date. In the interim, just give this story, a review to fully understand how far young Mr. Romo has traveled to get to where he is. Consider yourselves lucky as these stories rarely ever come to fruition. Enjoy. Now, back to the matter at hand.

The issue facing the Cowboys is new life. A clean slate. A second season. A second chance. An invite to "the tournament." Their draw could be deemed the best of all worlds. Keep the "already retired" Tiki away from the Dallas defense. The Saints marched all over the Cowboys' sorry rear ends. The Eagles are soaring in another stratosphere, and the Bears have to be had in Solider Field, on Lake Michigan in mid-January. You do the math and administer the litmus test. Tough sledding. Thus, bring on Seattle. The most decimated and closest resemblance to the visiting (thank God) Cowboys. "Give us (actually me) your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore." Ya, we'll take those guys!

Those guys being the Mike Holmgren-led Seahawks with newly-instilled Pete Hunter. Yes, that Pete Hunter. Is the Seattle secondary situation really that desperate? That puddle you're stepping in is the collective drool of Terry Glenn, Terrell Owens, Jason Witten, and the band of back-up pass catchers. Careful Boys, enter at your own risk as there is no lifeguard on duty. They can only hope the former Eastern Illinois Panther isn't in and out of the pocket playing "kick the can" with the football. The opportunities to go vertical should be there. Should be.

Look, it's anyone's game at this point, and there's absolutely no reason why the Cowboys can't regroup and mount a successful campaign in the land of Starbuck's and potential rain. No, tape and game footage has not been reviewed prior to making this proclamation, but the keys to success in the Emerald City are quieting (early) the 12th Man and getting pressure on Matt Hasselbeck. Have you heard that latter part before? You know, throw out Hasselbeck and insert any opposition quarterback in his place. Unfortunately, it's the same mantra and need this weekend. Same story, different venue. He cannot have time, get comfortable and develop a rhythm.

Jerry Rice, Chris Carter, Steve Largent and Boyd Dowler they are not, but there is ample wide receiver talent to allow Seattle the opportunity to "keep matriculating (thanks Hank) the ball" down field. Just ask Mike Furrey and Roy (of the Longhorn type) Williams. They'll tell you. Heck, they'll even diagram it for you. They fell short of spouting "stealing candy from a baby," but they weren't afraid to articulate the nuances of the three receiver flood to the same zone. Do you think Holmgren and offensive staff have cued those horror film clips up a time or three thousand? Fellas, ya, you Newman, Henry, Williams (of the OU type) and (insert your favorite free safety candidate here), isn't it time for some good, old-fashion redemption? Damn straight.

Pressuring the quarterback. Walter Jones on DeMarcus Ware. Well Zim, don't know where the harassment will come from, but you best find it before the harassment police turn their post season attention to you. Hey, but don't let that bother you by any stretch. No pressure there. Speaking of Zim, he was actually overheard asking Greg Ellis, "Are you sure you can't go? I mean it's only an Achilles." That's not exactly Steve Hutchinson manning Walter Jones' right side, so how about a little, up-the-gut, in your face, charge the hill mentality? What do you mean La'Roi Glover plays for St. Louis? Ok, who else you got, Coach?

This contest has wet and wild (why did you all just take notice?), up for grabs, willy-nilly ball written all over it. Unless it's already in the cards, this isn't projected to be a Martin Hazmatica vs. Josh Brown dual in the dew. Anybody thinking it wasn't going to take the offense to win? Think again. There is nothing wrong with a guns blazing, shoot out game plan. Just as long as the Cowboys post a bigger number on the Qwest Field scoreboard than that of the home team. Hey, yee that has the most points, wins! Rocket science this is not.

Here's to hoping the post season brings different results than the dreaded month of December. It's true 20 other NFL teams have officially begun their off seasons. Do you want to travel to Seattle or would you rather be the Oakland Raiders, Arizona Cardinals or the pleading owner Miami Dolphins? Don't know about you, but the Seattle gig doesn't appear too bad of a proposition. A respected friend, and Brother in Cowboys' arms, was recently found espousing the very same message. You need to join him for a little Cowboys' pick-me-up and post season prediction. If you haven't experienced John Shango, you've shortchanged yourselves. Shango44 is no stranger to The Ranch Report, and it's with great pleasure I present you the following:

Now, how was that for some good, ol' fashioned, Cowboys' PMA? Great stuff. The suggestion is to go reclaim your Cowboys' clothing ensemble from the closet or trash (for all you "I'm Out" squaders), and let the blue/white and/or blue/silver pom poms fly for another weekend. It's a 12 team race to the Lombardi hardware store, and there are no staggered starts. This thing is may the best team (in the second season) win. The only thing about Sept-Dec that matters was securing the invitation to the ball.

Now, who wants to dance?

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