'Stop The Crap!'

"Hey, stop this crap!'' No, that's not the Cowboys' new bumper-stickers-and-billboards PR slogan for the 2007 season. But it was team owner Jerry Jones' battle cry on his radio show in Dallas this week. And frankly, it was good to hear SOMEBODY besides you and me spitting some venom.

Jerry's semi-expletive was barked not at his own coach and team, but at the co-hosts who handle his weekly appearance on 1310 The Ticket. George Dunham and Craig Miller, like the rest of The Ticket gang, have done an admirable job this year balancing their embryonic flagship-station relationship with the Cowboys alongside their traditional role as stick-poking provocateuers of the 'Boys and everything else in sports and beyond.

Still, it's JERRY'S show. Last time I checked, he gets paid a bundle to appear there as a "guest.'' So sometimes he likes to drive the damn thing.

But on Tuesday, Dunham & Miller took the wheel for a bit.

The fellas asked Mr. Jones if he wants coach Bill Parcells to return. Jones, flatly and quickly answered "yes." They asked the same question about the future of Terrell Owens and got the same snappy affirmation. Dunham & Miller pushed again, a little harder. ...

And Jerry Jones pushed back.

"Hey, hey, stop this crap!'' Jones demanded. "I said 'yes.' OK? I don't know how I can answer you any clearer. Do you know I know the consequences of having them back? Do you know I know how much they make? ... Do your homework."

Oooooh. ... SNAP!

I love Jerry Jones. You may know that over my years on radio, I came to be known as "Jerry Jones' Backpocket Boy'' because of my relationship with him and my admiration for him. And what do I admire most?

His bull-in-a-china-shop desire to plow toward a goal. His nothing-like-the-Bidwills drive to succeed. The embarrassment he feels sitting at home this weekend for the NFL Playoffs while teams he knows he can beat (Philly, Seattle) advance toward glory. His "stop-this-crap'' mindset. As the show went on, Jones -- who ALWAYS calms down and ALWAYS forgives both because it's in his nature and because it's a business lesson handed down to him by his beloved father -- softened his stand in almost every way. He rounded the corners of his promises of Parcells' and Owens' return by saying, "Ask me that question about anybody on our roster, and you'd get a yes."

Now, we've sometimes played a game on the radio called "Translating Jerry,'' with me serving as the highly-qualified translator. And if we play that game with the above quote, we get. ... no promise whatsoever. We get nothin'. "Everybody's gonna be back''? Obviously not. T.O. will in many ways be taking Jerry to the $7 mil cleaners next year. Parcells? You tell me: If you ask a girl to marry you, and she says, "Hey, let me get back to you on Feb. 1,'' would you spent a month on bended knee, ring in hand?

Still, Jones, in this terrific piece of radio, once again demonstrated why he's still the best owner (if no longer the shrewdest businessman) in the NFL. In just a few moments, he:

1) Demonstrated again his unusually high willingness to be a stand-up guy and his unmatched accessibility; how many other owners follow up a playoff loss by taking bullets on live radio?

2) Stood up for his people. It would be easy right now to point fingers and lob silver-and-blue humans under the bus. Instead, Jerry's public face is one of support. (Jerry's public face is also very tight. But that's another column.)

3) Allowed great insight into his will, his passion, his fury, as it relates to keeping the Cowboys competitive. Jones told Dunham & Miller that regarding Parcells, he didn't "want to fuel the speculation,'' adding, "he's got a lot of fire in the oven. ... er, boiler."

Sometimes it seems to me that all InfalliBill has "a lot of'' down there is tummy. But Jerry "Stop The Crap!'' Jones? He's the one with fire in the oven. ... er, boiler.

CowboysHQ Top Stories